stirb nicht vor mir (don’t die before ı do) - itsarkhenna

Sukuna arrived earlier than his brother did.

He only visited here once in a year yet he always was the one to arrive first, watering the flowers around the grave, planting a new one beside the ones already grown. His mother wouldn’t approve of the way most flowers have withered and the rest hasn’t been taken care of. Sukuna blamed himself.

He hated the way he couldn’t bring himself together despite how long has passed since that day. He was taught to be stronger than that. Or more precisely, he taught himself that way.

Nothing seemed to help him recover.

He was long done watering the flowers when Choso appeared beside him, rather quiet than he usually is. Sukuna knows this type of silence and he wants to be buried in the grave next to his mother’s because of that. It’s that repetitive day of the year for both of them. The one day where neither of them smile or talk. Avoiding each other's gaze until the next day where both their eyes are red and black from the struggle they had to go through at night. Right there it is harder to look at each other but they eventually have to.

So he isn’t taken aback when his little brother pulls out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one for himself and one more to place it beside the flowers. A kind of ritual, where their mother also gets to smoke her only cigarette of the year.

He breathes in deeply before the clean air mixed with the smell of roses and lilies get polluted with the hideous smell of cigarettes.

He doesn’t argue with it. He knows it’ll once again end up the same so he finds it useless to say anything. Choso is not able to keep it together - or fake it, to be more exact - like Sukuna can. So he cries quietly, smoke of the cigarette still burns his throat. Not that he smokes everyday or tries to get used to it, Sukuna would beat him up for that. He hated cigarettes.

He knows Choso would get used to it though, one day, with the way things are going. He was just fourteen, afterall.

And they had a kid they had to look after, a piece of their mother that looked just like her exact copy with the round, big eyes and pink hair. He couldn’t let his life, too , become a living hell as he grows up. So he was reminded of this whenever he came here, inhaling the toxic flavor of the cigarette as the untouched one burns into the soil beneath it. He looked up at Sukuna who now stands a few steps behind him, expression indecipherable like it always has been.

“Mother liked smoking with us. She listened to you sing everytime.”

Sukuna didn’t answer before Choso exhaled a draw of smoke. Smoke corrupts his vision.

“Do you want me to smoke too or what? I’m not touching that sh*t. “

Choso grimaced at the way his brother talked so harshly with bias. He knew how much he hated smoking.

“No. I’m just recalling.” Then it was silent again. Choso sometimes doubted if Sukuna even felt anything about certain things. He found himself in a kind of anger towards him that he felt bad about later on knowing very well even if his brother struggled to show it, he cared.

”Do you even have a reason to be here?” He spat out abruptly. He made a little dance of victory in his mind when he finally got Sukuna’s attentive eyes on him.

He looked away for a second.

“You always speak of mother with so…anger. What is your reason to be here if you’re not mourning?”

Choso saw- or thought- for a split second, Sukuna’s eyebrows raised , his eyes teary, then at the same second he knitted them in confusion- or anger? It was hard to read into Sukuna.

“You think you’re doing something with crying and smoking?” He spat back at Choso.

He hated how pathetic he looked. Sukuna took one step forward and his cigarette was slapped away in a blink of an eye, burning his finger before it touched the ground. “If that idiot loved us enough she’d stay! Can’t you understand? She knew she’d die, and she still kept going!”

Choso stood, he still wasn’t anywhere near Sukuna’s height but he reached a hand out to him, noticing his voice trembling. Once again he couldn’t understand if the pain in his voice was out of the fresh cigarette burn or grief.

Sukuna pushed his hand out of the way, a bit too gently. “She even left her own f*cking copy for us to look after. “ What has she given to them but problems?

Choso didn’t say anything back. He could just hold Sukuna as he cried with tears and no sound, like he held both Choso and Yuuji for four years and more to come.

This was nonsense, who could they blame? They were just kids, afterall.

Why was it so hard to cook? Especially for a four year old’s liking. They used to feed him with baby food so it was easy back then. Now, though, they were living a nightmare for the past 2 weeks.

“We tried f*cking everything! He won’t even eat plain rice!” Sukuna cried out, making everyone wince but Yuuji. The kid was busy grasping at Uraume’s hair.

”Kids at his age can’t eat rice, Sukuna. What are you trying to do, kill him?”

Sukuna made a face.

“How can I know?!” Uraume sighed. They were used to the way Sukuna acted. They understood his stress. Choso was standing at the doorway that connected the kitchen and hallway. Visibly tired and hungry himself, too. They smiled and stood up with Yuuji. They heard a silent complaint about ‘how the little brat was so quiet with Uraume’.

“Make a research next time, internet isn’t very far away from you.“

Uraume turned their face at the kid. Yuuji’s hair was still a bit wet from the bath he hardly took minutes ago. “Let’s hand you back to your brother, I’ll make some meatballs for you, hm?”

Yuuji giggled, cheering. Uraume tried walking towards the couch where Ryomen stood , sighing as he awaited. Yet Yuuji had his preferences different, swinging his arms at Choso instead, making Sukuna let out a “HUH?”

Choso smirked at him across the room, taking Yuuji between his arms. Uraume repressed the urge to ask Yuuji his favorite brother. But that was fun of another time.

“Choso, please dry his hair with a towel, he’ll get sick again.” Uraume walked to the kitchen counter, starting their journey of finding the ingredients in this labirent of shoppings.

Choso reached for the towel Sukuna tried to dry Yuuji’s hair before. He sat his little brother beside Sukuna who only rolled his eyes and scoffed. Choso wished he could tease him about it but he was too tired for this. Instead, he dried Yuuji’s hair gently, repeating how cute Yuuji is and how he wants to bite his cheeks.

“You’re getting better at this you know…” He said out of nowhere. He didn’t have to look at him to see Sukuna’s baffled expression. He had that eyes pierce through one. ”About looking after Yuuji, I mean he doesn’t cry whenever he takes a bath with you anymore.” That was probably one of the few examples. But Choso knew Sukuna was trying , even though it didn't seem like it. Even Yuuji must have felt the difference from the beginning of the year.

Sukuna looked away, “I know I am, I’m trying here too, you know.” Choso giggled.

“I know, brother.”

Yuuji joined him, giggling. “Brother Choso!” Choso’s eyes shined with excitement before Uraume called out for him.

“Choso, can you show me where the forks are?” Choso left the towel he used to dry Yuuji’s hair beside, rushing to the counter where Uraume struggles to find anything.

“Tch…’I know, brother’ you-“ his muttering of flusteration was interrupted with a half-wet towel being wrapped around his head carelessly. “Lord- Yuuji.”

He looked up at Yuuji through the gap between the towel and his own hair. He had to hold him before Yuuji fell onto his lap, giggling. “You did good, brother!”

Sukuna couldn’t even gather a few words. He sighed and kept holding Yuuji as the towel was finally retracted from his head, leaving his hair messy.

“Your hair is white again, bro.” While Yuuji’s purpose was to show how good he learned about colors, it was also a reminder for Sukuna. “Ah, I need to dye it again. Good job, lil brat.” He totally ignores Choso’s complaints from behind the counter “Don’t call him brat!”

Yuuji only giggled again, pointing and grabbing at clothes or parts of Sukuna, naming their colors until Choso is back. Yuuji turns his attention to him and Sukuna uses this opportunity to stand up and join Uraume.

They’re quiet while cooking. Sukuna takes a closer look and sees meatballs roasted and some still in progress. “Do you want to dye your hair again?”

Sukuna passes a hand through his hair, brushing away the mess Yuuji made. “Yeah, school’s gonna start soon, I may have a haircut as well.” Uraume approved.

“We can go out and choose a dye, do you trust my style?” They grinned. Sukuna smiled and knitted his eyebrows like he couldn’t believe Uraume doubted his trust.

“Of course! Don’t cut it too short though… I don’t want to wait until it grows out to look good!” Uraume giggled at him, returning back to cooking. Rolling and placing new meatballs beside the ones that are still being roasted.

Sukuna looked out of the window. The flowers outside were on the verge of withering away. He has to remind himself to take care of them. He might have to plant new ones instead, too.

Street lights flashed and illuminated the garden and roads. From here, the street was fully visible. There was a playground slightly out of sight. Its lights didn’t really work. But he could see the swings clearly.

He scanned around for a while. When he brought his eyes back to the swings, he saw a kid sitting on it. Doing nothing, or maybe he did something but Sukuna didn’t see exactly what. So instead he observed the kid himself- until not even seconds later, the kid changed his mind and stood up, leaving God knows where.

“-Ryomen.” His attention turned to inside in a blink. “Huh?”

Uraume leaned their back against the counter. “I said, you’re wearing a guitar pick as a necklace.” They almost sounded like mocking.

Sukuna scoffed, (he scoffs a lot) hiding the necklace under his shirt. “Yeah, it’s the one you bought me, got a problem?”

Uraume smiled, knowing. “No, yeah, don’t you play anymore?”

He stopped playing and even singing.

It was a small part that was affected by sorrow, he thinks. He often thought of writing songs and he sometimes sang in showers that lasted a bit longer. But it always ended up not pleasing him like it probably pleased his brothers. Choso, especially, didn't waste any opportunity to praise him. Always making sure he shared his honest thoughts and genuine feelings about Sukuna’s divine gift. Sukuna never thought that this ‘curse’ was a gift (yet to be divine) to begin with to embrace any praise.

He also knows what Choso tries to do. He taught him a couple of ways to play a guitar. Some basic knowledge and steps. Nevertheless, that was more than enough to notice his little brother was also ‘gifted’.

So he kind of felt at ease, knowing at least, music could save someone he kept dear. He hoped so.

”I don’t, it’s such a waste of time, music, I mean.”

He heard Uraume snicker, “Don’t tell me you care about school now.” Sukuna gaped. “You think I don’t?!”

”Well, you’re right, highschool should be important for you.” They thought for a bit. Sukuna knew they’d find something to mock him with. “You got any ideas what you want to do?”

“That’s called bearing down on a child , you know that?! Don’t come at me.”

Uraume giggled. Thankfully, they didn’t keep pressing on, they never would. There was plenty of time for them anyway. Until Sukuna finds out what he wants from life, Uraume will be a part of it.

There wasn't plenty of time to get ready though. None of them were used to getting up this early, yet without someone to yell at them until they were awake, ready to go to school since their grandpa got sick.

There was pure chaos.

Because they weren’t just two kids who were getting ready for the first day of school, they were two kids and a literal three year old. They could arrange a preschool for Yuuji but they didn’t think about the rest at all. Thankfully Uraume agreed to pick up Yuuji after their lessons, all they had to do was to look after him until Choso or Sukuna would pick him up. Which probably would last less than two hours.

”Okay, please be careful, Yuuji!” Choso might be a little too concerned. Yuuji, though, was more than ready to ‘fly away from home’. That was too , Choso’s saying.

“Don’t dramatize the situation now, idiot. We’re already late, come on!”

Sukuna tugged at Choso’s school uniform, ignoring his cries. “Be careful , brothers!!!” Yuuji’s excitement made it harder for Choso to let go.

“I don’t think I trust these strangers…” Sukuna let go of his shirt, now both watching a woman in her thirties, smiling at the little family in front of her. She bent down on their level, facing Yuuji first. “That must be our youngest, Yuuji Itadori, right?”

Yuuji nodded happily, he always liked meeting people. Sukuna eyed the woman named Yuki, as her name tag said. “And you’re his brothers. I made a phone call with your father, everything is settled!” She tried to reassure them. “You always can see him here, I’ll make sure to call if anything happens!” She stood proudly, holding Yuuji’s hand in excitement.

Choso didn’t seem to relax yet he forced himself to act so. He didn’t want his little brother to notice the uneasiness.

“Good, we can leave, Choso.”

Then they left, Choso waved and smiled warmly at Yuuji until he disappeared behind the wooden, colored and decorated doors.

“Aren’t you worried about it? I mean…she looked nice and all but…Yuuji doesn’t have many friends around.” Sukuna sighed, he already knew the road to the school wouldn’t be as silent as he hoped it would be.

“Why would I be worried? It’s his chance to make friends- and actual friends, not some older idiots.” There was silence until they arrived at the gates of school.

”You have older friends…”

“That’s totally different- sh*t, which class are we in again?”

Choso pulled out his phone as they walked in. Hallways were empty since they were half an hour late. “Can’t believe we started off being late on the first day…” Choso muttered and turned his phone screen to Sukuna. They were in separate classes, they knew that much of it. Life probably tested their patience by separating them, forcing both to socialize with people other than each other. Or they’d just ignore them totally and move on.

That wasn’t the case for Sukuna. He always was popular in every environment he stepped in. People usually liked him due to his extroverted personality. Most of the time though, he was a trouble magnet.

Choso was more introverted, not because he was scared and shy to meet people, he just barely found himself to trust someone to the fullest. His ideal was a small group of people he can feel safe with.

Both Choso and Sukuna were intimidating to people who took a first look. That’s what they had in common.

So when the first bell rang, Choso didn’t expect Sukuna to come see him, yet alone bring a familiar face with him.

“Choso!!” He tripped back when the taller one literally jumped on him, embracing him with a tight, uncomfy hug. Choso inhaled the blueish-gray hair strands, turning his face away as he brought a hand on their back, returning the rough hug in the most gentle way possible.

“Mahito.” He recalled his name. He never forgot, he just thought he’d never see Mahito after graduating. “Weren’t you-“

”We canceled, I had to stay in hospital through summer. “ Before Choso could ask why or how, Mahito pulled away, his face still incredibly close “Look! They stitched my cheek! Kinda gives a cool-scary vibe !” He posed, retreating far enough for Choso to breathe.

“What even happened?” Mahito pretended to think, humming longly.

“Dunnoo…I don’t really remember what happened- doesn’t matter though! I'm so so glad to see you again, Choso!!”

Choso only smiled awkwardly. The guy never changed since middle school. It was also comforting as it was scary. Sukuna stood in the corner, watching them with an unreadable expression.

“I’ll see you in lunch then, I don’t plan on leaving class until then” He suddenly said, turning to walk away. Choso didn’t ask why, he could ask about it later. Sukuna didn’t look like he was having a nice first day.

Sukuna did show up at lunch. Choso didn’t know why he thought he wouldn’t but now they were sitting on a bench at the school garden. Another bench was dragged right in front of it, it probably was the third graders doing. Sukuna stretched his legs out to the bench in front of him as he leaned back. Choso did the same but with one leg stretched out and the other leg dragged up, hugging it as he sipped his Sprite with a straw. Mahito joined them later, not sitting on a bench but climbing on top of it, embracing the danger of falling backwards surprisingly well.

Though, it wasn’t very surprising, Mahito always was flexible and he knew how to balance himself very well. Sukuna could swear that he did something, at least some ballet, outside the school. But not a single soul knew what was going on with Mahito’s life. So he didn’t try and dig out some secrets.

“I heard you play electric guitar well, do you still play it?” Mahito asked, breaking the silence. Choso froze for a second, where did Mahito learn that information? He turned to Sukuna, but his brother didn’t seem to be bothered, only smiling dully.

”Well, I’m still learning. I didn’t have enough time to get past basics.”

Sukuna rolled his eyes at how Choso introduced himself so vile. It appears only neighbors and himself were aware of his talent.

“Oh well, no worries about that! You know I was practicing drum and piano, I thought maybe we can consider a club! “ Mahito leaned in, talking directly to Choso, who was confused. “A club?-“

”Hell yeah! A club! Music club, we will be able to open one in the very next weeks and I’ve been dreaming for this moment!!!” It didn’t seem like he lied… But Choso still was confused.

“We will open a club with only drums and electric guitar? We need at least three people to open a club and more than that to do actual music dumbass…”

Mahito twirled his front hair strands with his finger, giggling as his eyes shined. “I know some other students!” He leaned in , if more is possible. “Do you remember Jogo and Hanami? “

Oh Choso remembers them very well. He knew they also played some kind of instruments too. But they never met face to face. Jogo took a break from school, as Mahito once told him, with much sadness too.

“Yes, what were their talents again?” Mahito withdrew in a flash. Choso worried he’d fall back on his head to concrete for a hot second. Sukuna didn’t even flinch.

“So, Jogo also plays guitar very nicely . He might be a bassist, or rhythm guitarist, you know. Hanami knows many types of piano. She’s still learning too.”

That didn’t solve anything going on in Choso’s mind. ”What kind of music will y’all even produce?”

Mahito shrugged. He didn’t seem to be bothered by this new question, which he had to ask himself at the very beginning. “I don’t know actually…I just wanted to have fun in a club..you know…Sharing songs and melodies! “

”You’re hopeless.” Choso and Sukuna said in sync. Mahito sighed.

“Well I know, but..pretty please? I really want a club!”

Choso thought for a bit. He didn’t expect an offer like this, or a similar one. They had weeks ahead, he didn’t even know if he’d like to play guitar outside home, he could think.

”I’ll consider. It’s not really my guitar, so I-“

“It’s yours, what are you blabbering about?” Sukuna interrupted again. “I gave it to you, use it as you wish.” He totally ignored the way Choso’s eyes shined for a moment. Mahito stood up on the bench, stretching his arms out.

“Yipppeii then!! You should think so should I! Even if you accept we still have a gap,” he bent down, face close between Sukuna and Choso, he whispered like telling a secret “we need a vocalist.”

He made sure to make sharp eye contact with Sukuna, smiling. Sukuna only looked ahead, his expression unreadable once again.

Next few days passed with no events. Other than Sukuna almost getting his face smashed against a desk, or Sukuna getting sent to the principal office, earning him the ‘first one to step into the principal office this semester’ title. Or Sukuna once again, having to change classes because of a fight, causing him to end up in the same class with Gojo Satoru himself.

Ryomen Sukuna Itadori hated this year. Satoru seemed to enjoy himself.

Sukuna was so f*cking tired. Satoru had a good night's sleep. (in class)

“You’re playing with fire Gojo Satoru.”

“You’re being a baby, like a lost one at best! What’s with the face? Get up and join me for lunch!” Satoru tugged at Sukuna’s hoodie, dragging him until he was feet up at his seat, ass on cold tiles. “Come on you big baby.”

Sukuna sighed, he would hit the hallways with Satoru if it were to be a good day. “Why, can’t go by yourself? Do you need your mama to accompany you?-“ Next tug was a harsh one that made him choke. He bit the first place he could reach on Satoru, which was a little bit up his ankle.

Satoru jumped with a shriek, shaking Sukuna off of his leg. ”Let go of me you f*cking shark!”

The bench was empty again, this time the other bench far away from the first one. Sukuna growled in disappointment, who dared to move his bench away?

Satoru sat comfortably, sighing. “Man I’m so hungry!”

“What the f*ck happened to your friends- aren’t you the Gojo Satoru or something?”

Said Satoru gulped down a donut in two bites, making Sukuna curse under his breath.

“Yeah, Suguru didn’t come today, I’m incredibly bored- Ieiri is eating with his girlfriends- So I’m kinda out of fun people!”

“That’s something I’d do.” Satoru giggled.

“What? Laughing at the faces of people when feeling no positivity towards them?” Ryomen snickered.

”Is that a confession?” Satoru took out another can of Coca Cola, gently swinging it towards Sukuna. “Does it sound like one?”

Sukuna snatched his drink out of Satoru’s hand. “Can’t blame you, that’s just not very like you. “ Then they were silent for a while. Sukuna now noticed things he hadn’t before. The plants around the small fountain probably weren’t taken care of for a while. No , he couldn’t take another responsibility right now. Especially not of something in this damn school.

Then he noticed the paths connecting all four entrances out to the garden from school. There were tracks of dirt where benches stood. Students should’ve been dragging the bench from the same spot every time. Of all things, everything was plain. He didn’t remember here being this boring, to be honest.

Until he noticed a scribble on the wall right ahead of him. It was hard to tell what exactly it was. But it was colorful. Not many colors were used but he could pick out red and blue and a bit of orange. Terrible combination, really. Yet he found it to be the only colorful thing all around the school.

He leaned forward to examine it closer, then he picked out someone walking behind the wall, towards one of the entrances. He couldn’t follow who it was as Satoru’s voice pulled him out of his silent but boring mind palace.

“How’s Yuuji doing? I heard you were struggling real bad last summer.” Ryomen sighed. Leaning back.

“Where do people find this information about us anyway? “ He didn’t really want to talk but even if it was hard to admit, he liked Satoru’s company. He had that exact personality he only could hang out with. Also handling Sukuna was a hard mission, Satoru did it well. They were more than used to not sharing the same opinions, so it has become a fun game for them. Someone watching from the outside might think they’d be on each other's throat in the next very few seconds (which often were true) but they’d usually laugh and mock each other, nothing else.

“Well that’s a secret! You don’t have to tell…your eyes say everything” Sukuna wrinkled his face. “The f*ck does that mean?”

Then there was a hand slapping his shoulder. “Means I understand! Tell me how Yuuji is doing anyway.”

Ryomen tried to think, he didn’t want to answer so simply like ‘good’ or ‘fine’.

“He had us buy two betta fishes. '' he answered instead. Satoru cackled. “Betta fishes?”

“One blue and one red to be exact, Both female, apparently male betta fishes can’t live together…” He trailed off to the thought of their first attempts at making Yuuji happy. Buying two male betta fishes without doing any research beforehand. That ended up in two dead fishes in exactly one day and a half. When Yuuji cried until his throat hurt, they decided to retry, with enough research and material this time.

“Sounds like it's information out of experience rather than research…Well sh*t Ryo, I never thought you’d agree on any pets!”

Sukuna gaped “What do you mean? I have my plants!”

“Apparently they’re not pets.” Sukuna insisted “They’re alive and more useful than a dog or a cat that will sh*t on my carpets. “

“Ahh, if you say so! “

So Sukuna returned to his mind palace where he examined the nonsense scrabble on the wall until the ring bell.

There weren’t many scrabbles around like Sukuna thought there would be. After the first encounter with this mysterious weird painter, he honestly thought he’d find pieces of them everywhere around the school. But the said person didn’t paint around everywhere they went like Sukuna thought, or rather, wished.

He didn’t realize how disappointed he was before he finished his tour around the school. He called this tour ‘remembering the place’, convincing himself that he totally wasn’t drawn into this stranger painter.

But hell, he was bored like he never was before. He needed a distraction and a side quest to do and finding more of that nonsense scribbles could’ve helped. He didn’t know how though. Maybe he’d start painting his mind out? No, another form of art meant another form of disappointment. Also his mind wasn’t the best thing to paint. He wasn’t even sure if this person was a painter or not too, he just made predictions.

He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to know this person or see them again. And so he didn’t even think that this person would want to know him either.

So he decided to let it go for now, maybe he’d find colors and patterns on the walls of the hallways and on the desks of the cafeteria. He didn’t think much about why that would make any sense to him. Nothing made sense, anyway.

So he forced himself not to care, it would pass eventually.

But then he saw him again. This time right ahead of him, sitting at the cafeteria, drawing again, this time on a sketchbook rather than the walls outside at the garden.

Sukuna could write a song about him. He wouldn’t, though.

Yet, the painter’s shoulder length black hair and rough skin that could put moonlight on a notch would be worth everything a song could offer.

Sukuna heard that art was a reflection of the artist.

He wondered if this Nyx reincarnate was as messy as his scrabbles. He did look messy, with his hair strands sticking out there and there, losing the flat shape of his natural hair. Sukuna fixed his own hair, he decided he watched him long enough. Was his curiosity gone now? He didn’t know if his purpose was to find the artist anyway. He shrugged off the remaining thoughts. He had enough time to overthink it later. Right now , he was feeling as if his stomach had grown its own mouth and was demanding for food.

“Gojo-san, would you like to be lead vocalist?”

Sukuna choked on his food. Startling everyone at the table. Satoru chuckled and slapped his back. “You good? Don’t scare us like that, man.”

He looked up from his plate, Mahito was smiling like he knew he would.

They increased in number during the week. They had finally got to meet Jogo and Hanami. Both agreed on joining the club. Choso has been practicing guitar more so Ryomen knew he planned on joining as well. They had people ready to play any instrument but they were short on people who could sing.

Mahito knows how competitive he is and he’s going to use it for their own good. For Sukuna’s good, in a way too.

“I’m not very good at singing, Mahito-chan~ “ Satoru tested his waters.

“We all know that’s a lie! Come on, use your voice for us, I know you got some words in there too~ “ Now they both were testing it. Pushing Sukuna off the edge. He wouldn’t let Satoru take his deserved place- that never was ‘his’ to begin with…

Satoru didn’t withdraw his hand off of Sukuna’s back. He sighed “I would like to…But you know , I already signed up for photo club!”

Ryomen will never know if Satoru lied to give him a last chance to decide or just chose to sign up for something he never tried before.

“Photo club? Satoru you little f*ck, you can’t even take simple photos of me.” Ryomen recalled a school trip they both went as a pair when they were in Junior High School. All photos Satoru took of Sukuna were blurry, worse is, Sukuna wasn’t even visible in some of them. There was either a part of his hair, leg or arm.

“That’s rude Ryo! I try my best! Also, trying new things is totally normal. I already ordered the best camera ever made! “

Hanami giggled, probably the only one who knew how to take decent photos among them.

“A professional camera won’t just make you better at anything, Gojo-san.” Satoru groaned. “You guys are ruining it! Let me be and see how I’ll be the best school photographer!” There were invisible stars shining around him as he posed like an idol. ”You all will see my photos in the school newspaper!”

Sukuna mocked him, “You should take photos of the events and students, not your morning hair and daily ‘rate the drip’s.”

Satoru gasped as everyone at the table giggled. “I know that , idiot!”

He felt another hand coming on the back of his neck, he shivered with the coldness of it. “So Itadori-chan! We want you to be our vocalist!”

“Get your f*cking hands off of me- And don’t call me that ever again!” Sukuna twisted his body to smack Mahito’s hand off. Mahito chuckled and backed away, surrendering.

His next instinct was to look at Choso, who watched them in silence across the table. He wanted this and Sukuna knew it. Would it affect Choso’s decision if he refused? Would it be any good if he accepted? He winced at how a whole group of people couldn’t settle on such a basic thing. A lead vocalist, too easy to find! Sukuna would swear on his life that Mahito was a better singer than most people he knew if it weren’t going to hurt his own pride.

All they wanted was Sukuna to be the one to sing for a reason he never will understand. “You all are complete idiots. Does at least one of you have an idea of what type of music you will produce?” They were silent but smiling. That made everything worse. (Or better?)

”You guys probably don’t even have skills to edit. What were you thinking when starting this project?” He heard Satoru chuckle. He was basically scolding them out of flustration and he could feel unwanted heat rising to his cheeks.

“Well it’s up to your decision now.” Now they were handing their future on to Sukuna’s hands.

What could go wrong? Everything and nothing at the same time. It’s been a while since he last played or even sang. He never thought of doing the thing he used to do like breathing once again.

Now he was given another chance to make his future dreams come true. He could pass it and he’d never touch music again, even listening was a torture for him anyway. He needed to be the best, or it didn’t mean anything to him. One mistake and he’d be deep in his own sh*t. But it meant he’ll sing like breathing air. Feeling as human as he felt once.

This sh*t couldn’t end up worse than the one he’s already in.

“Listen up, dumbasses,” He was in deep thoughts long enough he didn’t notice the bell ring. None of them had left but the cafeteria was almost empty now, echoing his voice through the room. “If I decide things, I won’t let it go until we become a real band. So don’t ever think your job will be done as soon as we graduate!”

Mahito’s chuckle echoed louder. His arms came wrapped around Sukuna’s neck, shaking him. “That’s the spirit!!”

“Get off me at once.”

“We expected you’d say that, Itadori-san.” Jogo finally talked. Sukuna wished he didn’t. “Don’t call me that.”

Another pair of arms joined Mahito’s. Sukuna wondered why he didn’t let go yet. Since when these bastards stopped taking him seriously? Choso’s embrace was warmer than his, though.

He didn’t say anything as he hugged him, just smiled and hugged him tightly for a second or two before letting go. So Sukuna didn’t answer the unspoken gratitude. He just sighed and stood up, kicking Mahito’s ass as the other chuckled louder, disappearing into the hallway. Jogo and Hanami joined him , following slowly as they waved goodbye to people who remained on the table. “Thanks for joining us, Ryomen-sama!”

Ryomen groaned silently at the name. He couldn’t say he hated it.

“I’m leaving for class, Satoru, get up.” Said person stood up, offering a hand to Choso in front of him. “Would Choso-chan want my company walking to his class?”

Sukuna didn’t have to make a comment before Choso smacked the hand away, standing up “I’m not some helpless kid! “

Satoru chuckled, following Sukuna with fast steps. “Just asked!!”

“Don’t hit on my brother, I’ll slice you into two!”

Toji needed a way to not go home.

End of summer was a gift. He didn’t have to stay at home twenty-four/seven, trying to live up to the expectations of Zenin’s.

School was his escape, he could do anything to go home as late as possible. He prayed they wouldn’t sign him up for extra classes, that would probably happen at his own living room. He wouldn’t like that.

So he needed to attend every class, note everything and memorize the answers to the questions. He couldn’t afford failing. If the Zenin’s were happy, he’d be, too. That’s what he wished for. He awaits for the times that something, anything he’d do would make him acknowledge happiness. Or anything at all. He’d take any offering at this point.

He never failed until now. He failed f*cking history class. He groaned, shutting his locker harshly. He also wanted to punch it until either the locker or his knuckles broke, but he couldn’t afford that either.

It had to be history of all classes, of course. There wasn't a single person who passed the damned class because that old man had to be stubborn enough to keep teaching with one foot down the grave. Toji once thought he died mid sentence because it wasn’t complate until they realized their teacher was just dozed off to God knows where.

But he wouldn’t be able to explain that to his very loving parents. Hallway was empty so he groaned again. Cursing under his breath as he tried to lock his locker with hands shaking from anger.

“Don’t kill the locker, it holds many things for you.” An unfamiliar voice interrupted. He sighed, every voice was unfamiliar to him anyway. He couldn’t handle some random being a dick to him right now.

“f*ck off, I don’t have time for bullsh*t.”

The voice giggled. “What’s that? Failing a class or something?” Toji didn’t answer, fighting with the lock and the damn key. “You look like someone who’d throw a tantrum because of a straight A.”

He had enough. “It’s B- actually. Will you shut up?!” He gave up on locking his locker. No one would get curious and open it anyway- they wouldn’t find anything useful even if they did, too. Big hands replaced his own, they were scarred and rough as Toji watched this stranger’s hands locking his locker. He finally looked up to see red eyes. The sight made him flinch. Who had red f*cking eyes? An albino, he thought as he also noticed white hair strands between the pink dyed ones.

“Let me guess, it was history wasn’t it? I heard everyone in class 1-C failed. Poor guys…” Sukuna chuckled. If he got his balls kicked here, it was worth it for fun.

Toji scowled, gritting his teeth. He had to calm down, he couldn’t afford trouble too. He turned to walk away, but was stopped by the goddamn voice.

“So these aren’t very important?” He then heard the jingling of his keys. A voice inside his head told him to walk away, but he wasn’t going to listen.

He turned back. Snatching his keys from Sukuna’s hand quite easily. He thought it would be harder since the guy got that problematic aura in his smile.

“Who the hell are you? Are you from class 2-A or something? You all are just losers.”

Sukuna tutted, pouting as well to add on to his dramatic expression.

“I’m from 1–A actually. You offend me, when did I make fun of you?” His voice dripped with joy, though.

Toji couldn’t argue back. Everything has just felt like coming on to him crushing. It was his weakness that caused a misunderstanding. Yet, it didn’t mean the guy wasn’t annoying as f*ck. His expression softened a little, he didn’t have to act so tough.

“So? What do you want?” He let his keys down his bag. Sukuna shrugged, slipping his hands in his pockets.

“Does it have to have a reason to talk to people? Oh you’re not very fond of people , then.” Toji tilted his head, confused, why’d someone approach him, mock him then try to keep up a conversation, without a reason at all.

“Not really. I haven’t seen you before.” He eyed him head to toe, “You’re from 1-A, are you a friend of Gojo Satoru? Don’t talk to me if-“ Sukuna interrupted him with a low scowl. “Yeah yeah, I get it. He’s not very liked among people huh?” Toji didn’t say anything. He wasn’t very curious where this was going. Probably nowhere. A nonsense happening on a casual, boring, stressed day.

“I can help with it, you know.” Sukuna looked away. Huh, curious.

“With what?” Toji’s patience was on the verge.

”With history. It’s my field of interest.” Sukuna thought it was music, what was he even offering? Toji’s knitted eyebrows and baffled expression wasn’t helping with anything. The f*ck was going on with his insides?

”You’re offering me..tutoring?”

“Yes, that. You look like you need it anyway- I’ve got nothing better to do.”

Toji wasn’t impressed. “You want to tutor me out of boredom.” It wasn’t a question.

No not really, I will never be able to find another excuse to meet you, is all. He wanted to say.

“Well, I have club stuff to do and a brother to look after, but I have spare time. “ Too bad, Ryomen, too bad. “I also know history like I wrote it.” Not too bad. Because Toji’s baffled expression mixed with a small chuckle then turned into a whole laugh.

He managed to blink once or two before Toji stopped laughing slowly.

”Ahh..Yeah, no thanks. “ Now it was his time to be baffled. “Huh?” He cringed at how high-pitched it sounded.

“I don’t need a tutor. I can handle this myself.” He then turned away and left. He wanted to look back for a second to see Sukuna’s expression, it probably would be worth another laugh. But he didn’t. He had enough things to worry about.

He tried to ignore the memories of his voice, rough hands and blood red eyes of the guy he didn’t even know the name of.

Later he found out his name was Ryomen Sukuna Itadori. Mahito and Kenjaku were friends with him. Apparently Mahito was the drummer of his “band” and they were practicing being a real band for two weeks now.

He didn’t really care until Mahito also came up to him mid class, whispering and begging him to join them as their “graphic designer”. He never said no so fast in his life.

His torture kept on when ring bell.

“Pleaseee Toji-kun! There isn’t anyone else that can do it better than you!” He was flattered.

“Still no.” Mahito cried out. Falling ass on to the tiles.

“Why do you need to be so stubborn! You can compate with Ryo-chan about it…”

“What about you stop forcing people into joining you, Mahito-chan?” Toji stood up as Kenjaku tried to lift Mahito off the ground. Mahito stood up so fast and stopped Toji.

“Trust me! You won’t be disappointed at all! Just give it a try?..Pleaseeee?”

He left the class, leaving Mahito muttering how cruel he is under his breath.

“Yuuji, please stop crying. I’m sure she’s happy on the other side…” Choso didn’t let Sukuna continue with the most definitely true fact of ‘fishes don’t go to heaven’.

Yuuji apparently couldn’t handle that information and had a risk of exploding. None of them wanted a kid exploding in the middle of their garden. They let Yuuji mourn for the recently dead fish. But mournings should rather be quiet…

“…What did I do wrong? I took care of her so nicely!” Yuuji sobbed. His words are almost incomprehensible between his cries. Choso kneeled down beside his brother, embracing him with a warm hug.

“You did nothing wrong, baby. It was her time to go so we had to let her…It’s okay to cry, but would you want her to get sad too?”

Yuuji stopped and sniffled, looking up to Choso. “Really? She’d get sad if I cry?”

“Well, yes, I feel sad when you cry.” Choso tried to calm him down, caressing his hair and wiping his tears away. “So don’t cry. And take good care of her friend!”

Yuuji was hit with realization, he gasped loudly, pushing Choso a little bit. “Her friend! She’s alone now!”

Choso looked around, confused. “Yeah…You should accompany her!”

Yuuji stood up in a blink, headbutting Choso’s nose, causing him to wince in pain. Sukuna giggled from where he stood.

“I’ll be her best friend!!” Yuuji didn’t check on his brother, too focused on his main quest. He flew inside to carry his only fish left to his room.

Choso sat on his ass, rubbing on his nose. Thankfully , it didn’t bleed.

“Little brat got you good- isn’t he damn strong for his age?” Sukuna cleaned the dead leaves off the flowers. Choso agreed with a hum.

“Yeah. Damn strong.”

“Let’s go back to practice, I’m sleepy.” Choso stood up, dusting up. Sukuna followed him minutes after he went in, Choso brewed some coffee for both of them.

Only later when he went out to check on the ground they buried the red betta fish, he found red lillies placed on it.

Toji decided to accept Mahito’s offer. And it got so bad he almost considered accepting f*cking Ryomen Sukuna’s offer too. Almost.

He needed more time spent outside his home. And he needed it with a reasonable excuse, too. Having to stay after school because of club stuff would be a nice excuse. Maybe his parents would see his art skills are actually useful and not something he’d regret later. Who was he kidding with, it was impossible.

Yet, more free time is more free time. It didn’t matter how he spent it. But if he were to choose between sitting on a bench in a playground, scrabbling nonsense and staying after school, designing something for actual purpose, he’d choose the second. Anyone with a healthy mind would choose the second. It wasn’t like his mind was healthy , though.

It did make some people happy, too. Biggest example, Mahito was cheering, jumping around and hugging him tightly as he was on the verge of tears. “Thank you thank youuu!! You're the absolute best, Toji-kunnn!!”

Toji pushed him off after it started to get more annoying than it already is. “Don’t thank me, also don’t expect anything from me. You’re the only one who put such expectation on me, I won’t accept criticism.” At least he clarified his conditions. He already had enough people he had to satisfy in his life. He didn’t need more of them. Especially inside the area he felt safe the most. If this even counts as it.

“Alright alright! Let’s meet up at lunch so you can meet the others!!” Toji shrugged it off. It wasn’t a big deal to meet people. He just wished it was the first time he saw Ryomen Sukuna, so it wouldn’t feel as weird as much.

It got weirder than it already is.

“Where the f*ck are the others?”

Apparently, only Ryomen Sukuna showed up at “their” meeting.

”Ah, they’re still practicing, we had to work overtime for some finishing touches you know.” This mother f*cker was smiling. Toji couldn’t just assume he did it on purpose to talk to him alone, he drew the line before, afterall. He couldn’t be that much of an asshole.

“Are you all trying to mock me or anything? We already met, I’ll return to class if I won’t meet anyone.” He moved to leave, not taking his eyes off of Sukuna who was sitting, leaning back comfortably. Gosh, he’s going to beat the sh*t outta Mahito.

”We still didn’t meet officially- Damn, are you always this hard to get? “ He sighed as he stood up. He realized Toji won’t be sitting with him soon.

“I’m not hard to get, you’re creepy, following me around!” He tightened his grip on his bag when Sukuna’s smile just grew wider until Toji was able to see his sharp fangs.

“We just encountered each other barely once! This is the barely twice,” he dwelled on the word “barely”, almost sounding like a purr. “You couldn’t get me out of your mind?” Toji wanted to punch his smugness out of him. Actually, he almost did until the guy in question stopped his punch with his palm, quickly embracing his fist into a hand shake.

“I’m Ryomen Sukuna, I’d like to know your name.” Toji gritted his teeth.

“You think you’re smooth with it don’t you? f*cking asshole. “ He didn’t get anything in return, not other than that wide smile. It started to creep him out. ”I’m Toji Zenin. But you already knew that.”

“You knew my name too.”

“I didn’t ask your name.” Toji pulled his hand away.

“Yeah, but you did some research about it.” That’s it, he wanted to get beaten up.

He swore, right now, Ryomen Sukuna will get what he deserves.

Ryomen Sukuna indeed got what he deserved. His smug smirk might not have disappeared yet, despite his lip being split open and nose probably broken. But he got beaten up good.

He suppressed a hiss with a chuckle as the school nurse treated his wounds. For the fourth time this semester.

Toji sat in the corner. Pouting. Only damage he got was his hair being pulled and his cheek getting scratched deeply with Sukuna’s long, sharp nails. He was only treated with water and a medicated plaster. He knew he was lucky to get away with only this because Sukuna visibly held himself back from using much strength.

“I hate you.” He spat out. The nurse sighed as she backed away, leaving the room with a little leery.

“We barely met, and you f*cking split open my lip. You’re lucky-“

”’Oh I’m so lucky! You enjoyed that sh*t. You’re the one in luck you found a graphic designer for your ugly band!”

“Oh so you didn’t change your mind?” Sukuna flashed another smile with teeth.

“I’m going to split open your stitches. “ With that , Sukuna stood, Toji followed after him, their faces centimeters away. “Try that.”

With their faces so close, Toji noticed Sukuna’s eyes had a little violet in them, they were also so slightly shaking due to his albinism. Toji recalled the recent events, he had Sukuna’s glasses off of him with his first punch. That probably was the reason why he couldn’t fight back properly.

He lowered his eyes down on his face, with a little bit of guilt washing over him. He examined his tattoos. How come he hadn’t noticed them before? They were so perfectly fit to his shape.

He didn’t know how much time had passed. A second? A minute? It had started until it finished and Suuna chuckled, his warm breath caressing Toji’s cheek momentarily then the warmth was completely gone.

“I thought so.” Sukuna picked up his bag. “Now, can we leave? I really don’t want that ugly old man to send his bright scouts to look for me. “ He wandered off for a second, “Us, I mean. Let’s not get into trouble.”

Oh Toji knew that feeling. He quietly hoped this wouldn’t reach his parents. And they left. It was funny how quietly they walked out of the infirmary, knowing they gave each other the scars they had on their face.

They learnt to not fight for at least thirty minutes. And slowly got used to bickering. At least the others struggled less, since they ignored most of their arguments until they got louder or began to attack each other.

It was hard to stop them when they were on it. None of them were strong or big as the two so trying to separate them was a death wish. They usually ended up in the principal's office and the infirmary. Quite the regular customers.

One time Sukuna scattered all of Toji's drawings out of spite. None of them were damaged but Toji had walked away, leaving the room for Sukuna to face the mess he did.

He forgot what made him do that. Whatever it was it didn’t matter anymore because he never felt so frozen in time , it hurt not being able to run. Mahito stepped forward to shake him out of his trance. “I’ll go after-“

Sukuna snarled, stepping once, twice forward and shutting the door loud after him.

It hasn’t even started yet he was so f*cking sick of it. Toji haunted him. Just as he thought he was free from curses another one was presented to him and it was beautiful. How come he found colors left behind wherever Toji stepped on? Why did cold hallways feel so right to pass by?

Sukuna found him like Toji was the moon. So easy, so beautiful to spot in the night sky.

And he hated how emerald eyes darkened with hatred and he was so damn scared he’d fall for them too.

“Okay it was bullsh*t. Forgive me.”

Toji bent down before the vending machine, picking his can of Cola. “You want one too?”

Sukuna rolled his eyes. He won’t be getting tricked into thinking Toji wasn’t mad at him. It would be embarrassing.

“No. Did you hear me, idiot? I meant-“ Toji stuck another coin to the machine, watching another can of Cola dropping, the sound of it interrupting Sukuna’s words.

“I heard you for the first time. You said I couldn’t just do anything I wanted, and I get it. “ Toji oh sounded so calm it drove him mad.

“Not that, asshole. Just now I said-“ And Toji giggled. Frowning right after he stopped giggling and pushing the Cola against Sukuna’ chest. “I don’t care, you’re an idiot if you think I care at all. “

Sukuna gaped. He took the offering. “I hate this sh*t.” Then he punched Toji’s arm just so slightly. “I hate you too. Why don’t you just accept my apology?”

Toji shrugged, sipping his drink. “Well, you were just being you, a jerk, a scumbag, an ass-“

“Okay, god damn you! I was mad. I overreacted.”

“I told you, I don’t care.” Sukuna followed him as he walked outside. “Why do you care?”

How could he answer that now? He knew it’d be better if he let it be and forget it. Maybe sacrifice a small part of their future by losing their graphic designer. It would pass. He could move on like he always did. Toji rolled his eyes.

“I won’t just leave because of such a thing, Sukuna. Are you really worried about that?” There was a scary silence before Toji chuckled. “Wow, I never thought you’d have such a soft spot for people leaving you. “ For you leaving, of all people. Is what I’m scared of.

Sukuna took a deep breath. What a f*cking month.

I cry softly into time

I don’t know what your name is

“Isn’t this a bit too lovely for a metal music band?” Mahito suggests. Sukuna isn’t in the room of course. He’d sacrifice one of them for that comment.

“Ryomen feels what he writes, I trust the process.” Choso plays with his guitar cords. This was gonna be their first song.

But I know that you exist

I know that sometime

Someone will love me

He said he’d scream into the songs.

He knew his hatred and passion, what had stopped him midway? Lyrics stirred something deep in him. It was making him dizzy. He knew he’d hate this song.

He comes to me every night

No words are left to say

With his hands around my neck

I close my eyes and pass away

Sukuna didn’t know what he was singing about. Is that the outcome of his regrets?

Will he ever understand the meanings of what he wrote?

All the houses are covered in snow

And candle light in the windows

They lie there together

And I only wait for you

Would he still be living up to his promises if he never understood? If he never knew how he felt? Did music have any meaning, if he didn’t try to understand it?

I don’t know who you are

I know that you exist

If he’s too scared to understand?

I wait here

Don’t die before I do

Your love I can’t dismiss

I wait here

Would that make him a coward? It was frustrating. He didn’t hate it.

Then it definitely would make him a coward.

“What the f*ck?” Sukuna should’ve slept through all the door knocking. Now he had Toji Zenin in front of his door.

“What? You said I could come and you’d tutor me. Like, anytime I wanted?” Sukuna gaped with a baffled expression. He was barely able to recall anything since he just woke up. He looked inside to see if Choso or Yuuji woke up.

No sound. Gosh, the universe really tested him. He sighed.

“Well you slapped me right after I asked and one and a half f*cking months has passed since then so I assumed you wouldn’t-“

Toji let himself in, sliding through the door and Sukuna. “Well I changed my mind- Choso and Yuuji are probably sleeping right?”

Sukuna smirked. How he loved his boldness. He closed the door slowly and followed him inside. Toji never visited him before but he looked like he knew where he’s going.

“Yeah, they’re sound asleep. They wouldn’t wake up unless you…fire a bomb or something.” Sukuna lied and actually was surprised how Choso didn’t wake up yet.

Toji placed his bag on the couch, also letting himself fall back on it. Sighing deeply.

“Coffee?” Toji groaned. “Yes please, gosh.”

Sukuna got behind the counter, pulling out two cups and starting the coffee machine. He knew Toji long enough to know he had his coffee black and bitter. Especially when he’s incredibly tired. And Toji looked a lot more tired than that.

“You got run over by a truck on the way here? What’s wrong?”

It was Saturday out of all days. They didn’t even go to school, they didn’t even meet up with anyone today.

“I don’t want any extra classes. And I plan on passing next week’s exams.”

Sukuna leaned on the counter, watching Toji’s profile from that angle. He always was pretty, huh? Even with the messy bun, no actual person looked good with a messy bun. Toji did. “So you want me to tutor you? Are you sure you can handle history at this hour?”

Toji chuckled and oh he was so beautiful. He might be the reason why clouds hid the moon tonight, ready to pour down raining. Because the moon was a runaway tonight. The moon came visiting him, illuminating his home with a chuckle. And clouds missed him, mourning his absence in the night sky.

It all made sense, somehow.

“No, not at this hour. I came to let you know that. “ He said, watching the high ceiling. If he leaned his head a bit more, he could see red lights coming out from Sukuna’s room upstairs. “Want me to leave? I woke you up.”

He didn’t hear when Sukuna walked and settled himself next to him, placing the tray to the table in front of them. “No, you’re overthinking it again.” Then he realized, he turned to face Toji’s side.

”You didn’t go home today. Where were you?”

Toji closed his eyes, smiling and Sukuna could hear the faint chuckle that made his heart stutter. Toji should be making such sounds more often, he noted.

“Nowhere actually. I walked around…Wasted some papers, sketched…I prepared some esquisses , too.”

Sukuna scoffed. “You should be resting, it’s f*cking weekend, man.”

Toji sat up. Reaching for his mug. He wished he had his own mug for a moment. Sukuna’s mugs were too small for his liking. But he had no energy to complain.

“I can’t really rest at home, you know. They probably wouldn’t even look my way if I went home, but…” He trailed off. Then he took a sip of his coffee. He winced at how hot it was.

Sukuna watched him with expectation. His eyes were soft and sleepy and oh Toji was too fatigued for this sh*t. “I don’t want to go home.”

Sukuna had to hold his mug for him so he didn’t spill any coffee on himself as his body gave in, falling back to the couch. Sukuna embraced him by wrapping a hand around his back and placed his mug back on the tray. Toji sighed against his chest. He barely could hold his head up anymore.

“Then don’t. “

Don’t die before I do

I wait here

Don’t die for me

Toji, for a moment, thought he woke up to Sukuna’s childhood. However this child was made, he was a 540x405 version of Sukuna. (4x smaller version of a screen size canvas. 2160x1620) Yuuji watched him outside the door. He was sleeping on someone's bed. Toji guessed it was Sukuna’s.

As he supported himself with his arms and sat up, Choso appeared beside Yuuji.

”It’s so rude to watch people from afar, Yuuji.” He lifted the small one up to his arms, looking in to see Toji awake. “Good morning.”

Yuuji looked stressed. “Did I wake him up?”

Toji answered before Choso, pushing the sheets off of himself. “No, I slept enough…Gosh, I don’t remember falling-“

“Don’t worry about it, we heard nothing.” Choso interrupted to calm him. He thought he was calm. And even if he was, he totally didn’t feel calm now.

“What- No no, I didn’t- We-“

“I meant we didn’t wake up to you arriving. Ryomen said you were tired and staying over, so don’t worry.” Choso corrected, his tone a bit nervous after realizing the misunderstanding. Toji felt like he was burning from head to toe.

“Where the heck is Sukuna?” Yuuji answered instead of Choso.

“Breakfast!” So Toji assumed Sukuna was downstairs, preparing breakfast for them. He felt bizarre. He panicked for a second that his clothes were changed too but Sukuna was shy (!) enough to not undress him while he slept.

It wasn’t uncomfortable, surprisingly, this was one of the best sleep he ever had. It was either Sukuna’s magic or his bed.

He noticed the population was rather large. He didn’t expect to see a university student besides Sukuna, doing most of the work with cooking.

Sukuna was facing the stairs so he was the first to see him coming down. He regretted not checking himself in the mirror before walking in.

Sukuna smirked at him, walking around the counter. “Good morning sleeping beauty! You don’t mind pancakes for breakfast do you?”

“Do I have another choice?” Toji asked, yawning. He wanted to leave as soon as possible but Sukuna thought otherwise.

“If I let you choose you’ll most definitely leave. You’re not going anywhere without eating-“ Sukuna looked away for a moment. “I mean Uraume is strict about it.”

He looked over Sukuna’s shoulder, he heard about Uraume before but he never saw them. Uraume looked at them with a straight face. Did they woke up upset or something?

“Uraume, by the way. You heard about them probably, they’re our future producer. “ He said with a smile on his face. Uraume frowned with blush covering their face.

“You’re talking too sure! Don’t jinx it.” Then they placed the done pancakes on the table. There were four plates in total. That made him wonder if they forgot to count him in or if Uraume was going to leave.

“Yeah I’ve heard, I’m the future graphic designer, then. Nice to meet you.” I guess.

It looked awkward. Toji stood in front of the stairs, not going back or moving forth to the table, Uraume stood behind the counter, holding their bag to leave, while Ryomen stood between them, like he was chained down in place.

“Nice to meet you, too. “ There was silence before Uraume turned to walk out. “I’m taking my leave, don’t forget to wash the dishes. “

”You don’t have to remind me, I can do basic chores!” Sukuna sounded so offended, it made Uraume smile. “Yuuji does them better than you. See you later.”

Ryomen snarled quietly, if Toji was sure of something, it’s that Ryomen will be completing every chore just to prove he can.

Toji thought breakfast would be quiet but it was quite the opposite. Thanks to Yuuji, there was non-stop laughter. Even if most of the time it was just him laughing, leaving his food and playing with Choso’s hair, tying it in different lengths and shapes. His hair was more figurable than he thought. His usual hairstyle was unique enough so Toji wondered if it was Yuuji’s doing. He smiled at the scene and Yuuji’s laughter trailed deep into his mind and Toji thought if there was any chance that he could have had a family like them, in another universe or if he didn’t choose art.

He found out that Sukuna’s voice never disappointed to get him out of his own thoughts.

“Did you like the pancakes?”

He looked down on his plate, he ate more than he usually did in the mornings. He had to be so hungry to not realize how good they tasted. But he could tell Uraume’s cooking was so good because the sweet taste of the pancakes never left his palate.

“Yes, Uraume prepared it well…Do they always cook for you?” Toji mocked him with a smile. He had regained enough energy to tease him. Sukuna was fast with his answer, almost barking at him.

“I can cook! If that’s what you’re trying to say!” Toji shrugged, looking away.

“I didn’t imply anything, but since you’re so sensitive about it, one can easily conclude you can’t cook at all.” Sukuna gritted his teeth, grabbed his glass of water and threw the last drops of water on Toji. “Asshole! Don’t make presumptions about me!”

Toji almost fell back off of his chair. “Hey! f*cking- If you knew how to cook you’d do it since I’m your damn guest!” He tried to push his face away from him.

“You are barely a guest! You walked in on yourself!” Sukuna pushed his hands away, their chairs holding them on to dear life at this point.

“Don’t f*cking fight in front of Yuuji!” And they stopped. Yuuji watched them with wide eyes, not expecting his brother Choso to yell too. Toji sighed and wiped his face with a napkin. Sukuna crossed his arms and sat back straight. They almost looked like children getting scolded but Choso was too annoyed at them to laugh about it. He himself looked quite ridiculous too, with two ponytails tied unevenly, one in the middle of his head and one tied messily on the right side of his head.

Yuuji startled all of them with a giggle, distributing the silence. “Toji-oniisan has beautiful hair too!” Then it was hard to stop him from walking up to Toji.

Choso smirked, watching Yuuji placing his tools on the table. Toji smiled awkwardly, opening his mouth to speak before Sukuna stood and lifted Yuuji onto his arms. Toji thought he was saved and sighed.

“Not on the table we eat food. Take your tools and new friend to the couch.” Then Yuuji was given to his lap. And boy the little brat looked too adorable not to say yes.

But he could say no to Sukuna. “Sukuna. I-“

“Do you want to make my brother sad? Shut up and embrace it.”

He couldn’t say no to Sukuna at the moment. He picked up Yuuji’s tools and carried them to the couch with himself. He didn’t forget to curse at Sukuna with lip movements. He only received a smirk and a tongue poked out in return.

“Sit on the ground!” He also received his first order from a four year old. Before he could sit he was stopped by the said four year old. “Wait! Have a pillow under or you’ll get sick. Choso-niisan will get angry at you.” Yuuji rushed to pick a pillow and place it on the carpet.

Toji sat on the pillow and leaned his back to the couch. Yuuji kneeled on the couch behind him. Starting with brushing his hair first. Toji’s front hair strands were still wet because of the water thrown at his face before. He frowned as he recalled it. He had to make him pay for that, with… Maybe he could throw him in a pool or a lake when he finds a chance.

“Anndd…here! Did I hurt you?” Yuuji asked him curiously. “Nope,” Toji said shortly. Then he thought maybe he could try more. “You’re very gentle with it, do you always make your brother’s hair?”

Yuuji nodded with a loud hum. His hums sounded with pure joy. It made Toji smile slightly. “Yes! Choso-niisan lets me brush and tie his hair for school! He thinks my style fits his!”

Toji recalled Choso’s hairstyle when he first saw him. He thought he was crazy at first. But it had his own vibe to it. “It really does, do you think you can fit my style?”

Yuuji stopped brushing and divided his hair strands into three pieces. “I think I can! I bet you’ll love it and want me to do your hair everyday!”

Toji giggled. He wondered if he could turn this into an excuse to come here everyday, to not go to his own “home”. Or just to basically see Sukuna. He didn’t want to think about that one so much. No one had to know.

He closed his eyes as small, soft hands played with his hair. Confusing his directions quite often. It made Toji wonder if his hair will end up like Choso’s. But he understood Yuuji’s goal. He had never tried braiding his hair before. He couldn’t, even if he wanted to. He was good with his hands but tying his hair was a hard one for him.

He never quite liked long hair, too.

He opened his eyes to Sukuna. He was bending down before Toji, his face close in front of him as he lifted his face to look at him. Sukuna smiled at him with that smug expression. Yuuji immediately pushed Toji’s head down again. “Stay still! Ryo! Don’t distract him.”

Toji chuckled at the nickname and Yuuji’s tone. He actually quite wanted Sukuna to distract him. Pull him out of the space he watched when he closed his eyes and light those books of thoughts on fire, keeping him warm in the middle of a snowstorm.

“Okay, damn. You search for excuses to get mad at me, brat. “ Toji watched Sukuna walk away, he only saw his legs from the angle he was forced to stay. He giggled and closed his eyes again. He heard Sukuna in the background “He’s giggling! Since when are you teaming up with my lil curse?!” Then Choso, “Ryomen.”

Toji hated loud music. He actually barely listened to any music. Sometimes, if he didn’t forget his earplugs at home, he’d listen to some recommended songs on his way to school. He didn’t like sounds interrupting his work, his thoughts and disturb the silence.

But this was something else. Watching Sukuna behind the soundproof glass, hearing his voice through the speakers. Uraume sat beside him, pushing some buttons and changing some of their places, they recorded the song Sukuna produced.

Love is a wild animal

It bites and scratches and kicks towards me

It holds me with a thousand arms

And drags me into its love nest

It wasn’t just Sukuna, of course. Mahito looked like he lived it to the fullest as he played the drums. Choso was having the time of his life as he played the guitar. Jogo and Hanami were happy to play their roles in it, creating the sound Toji very much hated.

It devours me completely

And retches me back out after many years

It drops softly like snow

First, it gets hot, then cold in the end it hurts.

But God, Sukuna’s voice was soothing. Even in such messy songs, crowded, loud words, his voice was the only thing he’d let interrupt his thoughts. He wanted only Ryomen to disturb his silence, with a loud growl or a quiet scream, with a whisper or a cry.

Love, love

Everyone just wants to tame you

Toji wondered if he could ever reach the depths of Sukuna, touch him right where the meanings of the words came out.

Love is a wild animal

You fall into it’s trap

He wants Sukuna to whisper his love into his heart and mind.

He wants to be free.

Please, give me poison

“You learned.” Toji turned to him, confused. “What?”

Sukuna sipped his Sprite, not looking at Toji but straight ahead. “That I liked Sprite and not f*cking Coca Cola.”

They walked through the beach, basically keeping Toji away from his home as much as possible. “I bought it randomly. Not that I remembered.” He lied. Fortunately Sukuna saw through him. He chuckled.

“Yeah right, admit it, you’re just trying so hard to not look like you care!”

Toji walked on Sukuna, stepping on his feet on purpose. “Don’t yell, you’re gonna strain your throat. You screamed enough today.” Sukuna backed away, holding his Sprite away to avoid spilling it.

“Did you like it?” Sukuna asked, whispering a secret, so close to his ear and so hot against his skin. Toji brought a hand against his neck, covering it. Sukuna must really like physical contact. “What?”

“I said, did you like it? My performance. “

Toji pretended to think, humming as he kept walking. When it started to get longer for him to answer, Sukuna slapped his shoulder. “Hey! Don’t play with me!”

“Okay okay don’t get mad so quickly.” Toji scoffed. “It’s too loud for me- like…How do you even make those sounds? The screams and all…Doesn’t it hurt?” Toji genuinely wondered. Sukuna made it look so easy but he knew it wasn’t that easy since there were lots of failures before he actually did it successfully. And the shock on the other band member’s face was priceless.

He screamed into the song so deeply, Toji sometimes, actually, quite often, didn’t believe it would turn out good. But in the end when Uraume edited the recordings, the outcome was more than good. Toji was scared he’d find himself listening to electronic heavy metal in the future. But he doubted it, it was really annoying for him and his ears wouldn’t approve of it, like, at all. If he were to listen to any song, it would either be the ones that Ryomen decided to not make it too loud or the acoustics made by Sukuna and only Sukuna himself.

“It doesn’t hurt that much anymore. It’s pure talent, you know?” Sukuna talked proudly. “Not everyone can do it. But I still have to work on them so I achieve the best one ever made in history!”

Toji raised an eyebrow. “You’re too focused on being the best, huh?” Sukuna chuckled. “Of course! I’m nothing if I’m not the best. Good thing that I feel the best.”

Sukuna wasn’t too hard to understand. They weren’t too different, just Toji didn’t want to be the best, he needed to be and he didn’t feel the best, he wasn’t allowed to.

“I, personally, could never scream like that.” Toji started after a bit of silence. “You’ll always be better than someone, at least-“

“Wanna try?” Sukuna stopped walking. Toji stopped a few steps ahead. “What?”

Sukuna smirked before he turned towards the sea, took a deep, loud breath and screamed, a bit raspy since his throat was hurt enough today. Toji flinched and hurried forward, pushing Sukuna a bit. He tripped over and held Toji’s arms to support himself.

“What the f*ck are you doing?” He sounded so perplexed, a bit scared too maybe. He didn’t expect such a thing as he looked around if anyone heard them.

Sukuna really did things that no one expected.

“Screaming, it’s quite easy, try it.” Toji was left agape, he had to be going insane. But an urge to try it over grew on his mind. But he was scared his screams would sound like a side character’s of a badly done horror movie instead of a real one.

”Someone’s going to hear us, it’s f*cking middle of the night!” Sukuna started walking closer to the beach and held Toji by the wrist, dragging him along. “Yes? Everyone is at home! Dreaming their fifth dream or something, f*cking relax for once.”

He shouldn’t be letting Sukuna drag him right now but it was hilarious. He watched Sukuna, wide eyed as they got closer to the water. It was quite windy around that level, Toji shivered when cold air started blowing against his skin.

It was dark around them. No lights, no sign of humanity. Wind was blowing too fast so if they talked it would block their voices. But they weren’t there to talk. Toji watched Sukuna’s lips move. “Come on.”

It felt like it was just them left in this world. Just Sukuna and him. Toji felt like this whenever he was alone with Sukuna, like he took away all the life and light, just so Toji can feel at ease. Without a single sound. Not a single comment, no responsibilities that wasted his childhood.

He sometimes felt younger around Sukuna. At the damn age of 15, he never felt like he was. Sukuna was letting him act his age. Letting him live, and live it in silence.

A silence of a scream, a silence of a laugh, a guitar, a silence of fresh breeze.

When they talked, it was quiet, contrary to Sukuna’s usual tone and level. Of course, it wasn’t valid for the times they fought or argued. But that was silence, too.

It was silent as Toji wished it to be.

Even when he sat side by side with his father he barely talked, there was a voice at the back of his mind, talking to him. It was loud. It was a disturbing whisper. It hurt his head, eyes and body. When his brothers watched him paint, it was a loud gaze. When he walked on his tippy toes to the kitchen and outside, every step was an earthquake to him. It made him tremble, uneasy.

Toji wondered if this was all he needed all along. Not silence in things he lived through but a loud scream breaking into his life.

Now it was a lot different. A new stage of their relationship, Toji thought as he frowned. There was a lot of noise and he was going to scream them out, adding to the disturbing sounds of the wind. But it was going to feel good. Even with chaos unraveling around them, Sukuna was going to hold his hand. Metaphorically, he thought, but Sukuna hasn’t let go of his hand yet.

Was he going to hold his hand until the end of this bullsh*t? Toji took a deep breath, closed his eyes and screamed. First one wasn’t as loud as the second. And the second wasn’t as loud as the third. Fourth, fifth. Every one of them felt like ripping a page out of a sketchbook. Painting a canvas white or dumping every kind of paint over it. It was like something he always did yet he never felt.

He barely heard Sukuna chuckling besides him, he chuckled too. He was going to remember this moment and rip his hair out later. Now, he just laughed.

“This is so stupid, f*ck Sukuna, you’re so stupid!”

“But you’re going with the flow of it!” Toji laughed, coughing after screaming so much. He now was more concerned about Sukuna’s health. Sukuna stood closer to hear him clearly through the wind. Almost nose to nose if they were closer in height. Toji hated how effortlessly tall he was. He sometimes bullied him for it. And now he wanted to curse it because of how it held them apart even when they’re so close.

”My throat already hurts, asshole. I’m blaming you if it gets sore.” Toji tried to pout and put anger in his words, failing as he giggled.

Sukuna watched him as Toji slipped a hand through his messed up hair, blame it on the wind. He never saw something so beautiful. He barely listened to any words Toji said as he was dragged out of the beach to the sidewalk.

“We should do that more often.”

“Yeah, no.”

They didn’t need light either.

Sukuna got sick of Choso’s stories. Not the ones where he posted the beverage he just wasted more money than it should be. Or the ones he posted to ask the ideas of his followers (which were quite a lot, deserved, for a beautiful man he is.) Not even the ones he was with Mahito, doing some dangerous sh*t.

He hated Gojo Satoru.

And no, it isn’t exactly because he apparently is so close with his brother. It’s because…

They’re so cute it makes his blood boil with, oh gosh, jealousy.

He tried to ignore it for as long as he could. Even muting Choso’s stories after seeing a photo posted of them, hugging in front of a mirror, Choso’s face covered with his phone as he hugged Gojo’s neck. Satoru stood in front of Choso, a tall man he is, he hugged Choso’s waist so…properly. Sukuna then felt his face heating up and the next story of them showing their height difference clearly by another mirror photo, this time they’re standing next to each other, Satoru’s hands around Choso’s waist, it was the last straw. He blocked Choso out of spite right then.

It definitely wasn’t because he wanted to hold someone's waist or hug them, hold their hands and take photos of the moments, posting it for everyone to see, everyone to know that they belong to him. That they fit him the best and no one else could replace Sukuna’s hands.

That someone wasn’t Toji Zenin too, definitely. He didn’t imagine his arms around him. He didn’t want to have his lips on his own. He most definitely didn’t need his presence so he could have a nice thing to look at. And he never wished those hands held his own.

He screamed onto his pillow out of frustration. Coughing painfully after forgetting he had to rest his throat.

“Damn you, Choso.” He was mad.

There must be something wrong with him to have fallen in love with Toji Zenin. It didn’t make any sense to him since day one. It has barely been 4 months since he met him but he was disturbing his feelings in such a way. They didn’t spend too much time outside the school either. Not counting the times he visited him out of boredom. And the times they walked home together after recording at the studio Uraume arranged for them.

He realized the situation was worse than he thought when he started dreaming of his own f*cking songs. The ones he knew he wrote for Toji and the ones he didn’t know he wrote for Toji. All of them, same dreams that wake him up letting him think he has a chance. Then who’s he kidding with? Toji was not stupid enough to return any feelings. The guy barely smiled around him. And he would do anything to be left alone. Sukuna very secretly wanted Toji to accept his presence but no, Toji ran away whenever he wanted and Sukuna felt stupid to wish for Toji to stay whenever he felt like running away too.

Sometimes they fought and Sukuna decided he hated him after every one of them. Then the next day there was no sign of anger in him. He found it ridiculous. How can someone who never even had the idea of loving, yet alone liking someone, could have a crush on someone so easily?

“What the f*ck are those stories?” He asked Choso as he walked in, clearly returning from a date with Satoru. “Huh? The ones with Satoru?” He blushed and Sukuna gritted his teeth.

“Yes, idiot.” Choso’s face lightened up and he skipped towards Sukuna with joy. Sukuna let out a disgusted sound from the back of his throat. “I think I like Satoru.”

“No sh*t sherlock! I think you made it clear with those photos!” Choso giggled. Leaning back on the couch as he sighed happily. “What is wrong? Are you mad?”

Sukuna scoffed. He was mad. But not to Choso for loving an idiot or not to Satoru for hitting on his brother. He also couldn’t be mad even if he wanted to. Choso was smiling more than ever and it was because of someone besides Yuuji.

He would be mad if Satoru ruined it, too.

“No. Why would I be?” He stood up. “Just be happy.”

He wanted to take photos with Toji, posting them on instagram for people to see.

He was hopeless.

”I want one too! “ Yuuji demands, standing in front of both his brothers. Choso now shared the tattoo Sukuna had horizontally going through his nose. Apparently Yuuji wanted one like them too.

“You’re so small for that! You can have one when you’re all grown up like us.” Choso said, putting his guitar away to hold Yuuji. Sukuna didn’t look that way, too busy with Mahito’s drums, trying to set them as Mahito watched with curious eyes.

They were apparently in an empty house Uraume bought with the help of their family. They used to live here for more than three years before graduating and moving out to another house closer to their university. Sukuna was grateful for Uraume and their richness. Whatever they got, it was thanks to Uraume. A studio and an editor was more than enough but now they had a whole house for them to practice, hang out and if needed, sleep.

Yuuji wanted to see the house and his brother’s friends. But the only thing he cared about was Choso’s new tattoo. And Choso didn’t know what to do.

”But I want it now! How are people gonna know we’re brothers if you two have one and I don’t? “ Yuuji cried out. “Also, Ryo got his tattoo when he was younger!”

”He got it when he was 15, now I am 15, too. And when you are too, you can have one. I promise.” Yuuji kept pouting but nothing changed. Choso sighed.

“Hey, Yuuji! I know someone who can give you the tattoo you want!” Mahito arrived at the scene. Yuuji’s eyes shined with interest.

”Really?” He asked as Choso snarled at Mahito. “Hey! Don’t be funny, I just said-“ But he interrupted him as he moved on.

“In fact, I can call them here too! You just have to pray he accepts…” Mahito had a second thought. Would Toji care about that ? They had to be a little bit closer since Toji talked to Sukuna more than he talked with the rest of the group. So he wouldn’t break Yuuji’s heart. Or would he? He shrugged, he can’t know until he tries.

Toji was called to the scene.

”What? You called me here because of this?” Toji yelled at him at the door and he turned to leave before Mahito grabbed him and dragged inside.

“Come on! I said it was necessary!” Mahito giggled nervously. He could get slapped or even get his eye punched but Yuuji was cute enough. And it was fun to watch people struggle.

”Yes! Necessary! I’m not some clown who paints kids' faces!”

Before he can complain even more, he was in probably the biggest room of the house. They were instruments and cables connecting them everywhere. He heard about this new place a few weeks ago, when it was first mentioned. Uraume was wealthier than he thought. The studio they used was from Uraume, too. They even provided a better app for Toji to draw and edit. He couldn’t be more grateful.

He was greeted by Kenjaku who didn’t even have to do anything with the band, Sukuna seemed to not understand why he was here too. Then he saw the others, Choso with Yuuji on his lap and Jogo tuning his guitar. Hanami is already done with her part and is sitting comfortably beside Jogo.

Yuuji looked sad as Mahito dramatized it at the door. He frowned. He really was going to paint a kid’s face with his very expensive paints. The said kid ran towards Toji in such a hurry when he spotted him. “Toji-oniisan!” Toji sighed, kneeling on the ground as he placed his bag beside him to hold Yuuji, hugging him before asking what was wrong.

“Did Ryo break your heart lil guy?” He had Sukuna’s attention now, it didn’t matter though.

”Yes…They won’t let me have a tattoo like them! I want to be like Choso-niisan.”

Toji took another look at Choso. He didn’t notice he had a new tattoo when he first looked. He turned to Yuuji, standing up and holding his hand. “Well, you’re very young to have poison in your blood, that could hurt, you know? “

Choso stood up from where he was sitting and joined them as Toji lifted Yuuji up to a table, sitting him on it to match their height. “See, Yuuji, none of us want you to get hurt.” He heard Sukuna scoff quietly. “For such bullsh*t too.”

“Ryomen!” Sukuna just shrugged, quite comfortable after successfully placing Mahito’s drums in place.

Toji opened his bag to pick some blue paint with a small bottle of purple too. Then he picked a brush thin and soft enough to work on a kid’s face. He brushed Yuuji’s face with it and gained a little chuckle from the younger one.

“I’m going to do it better than any of your brother’s now. “ Yuuji’s face lit up, jumping on his place as he chuckled. “Really? Will I be looking like them??”

”Yes, yes of course. But be careful, it will be temporary. So it will dry and then wash off at the end of the day!” Yuuji pouted, but accepted it nevertheless.

“Mahito, stop f*cking around and test your drums! “ Sukuna sent Mahito off and replaced his place as an audience to Toji’s work.

Toji just looked at Sukuna for a second. Then he returned to the paints, mixing a little bit of purple and blue. Then he mixed a tinge of dark green. “Hello.”

“Hey.”

Yuuji watched Toji with interest, he dragged his brother closer and examined his face. “But Ryo has black tattoos! Why are you mixing purple…green and..blue?” He asked with curiosity rather than concern. Toji kept mixing the paint with a metal tool.

“Because I can’t use pure black, it will look off and you won’t like it.” He said it as if he was a professor explaining physics. But Yuuji understood, nodding and humming. “Wow…Toji-oniisan knows a lot about colors! I know about them too.”

“Oh you do?” Toji started to feel uneasy with Sukuna’s eyes locked on him. As if he was trying to see inside of him. He never liked an audience as he painted or sketched. He always tried to do it privately, with silence. Yuuji’s ramblings weren’t a problem at the moment but Sukuna’s interested eyes and unusual silence was.

“Yes! I know about rainbows now. When it rains, sunlight is scattered by the little raindrops and then it becomes colors!” Toji couldn’t help but smile at the information. The kid was proud of whatever he learnt about.

”That’s correct, I work with rainbows. Now don’t move so much.” He dipped his brush into the mix he made. It looked dark enough to say black and it looked better on Yuuji’s face. Almost the same as Sukuna and Choso’s tattoos. Yuuji giggled and wiggled a bit as the soft brush caressed his face with cold paint. But he tolerated until Toji was done. Paint has already started to dry when it was done. Yuuji jumped off from the desk as soon as Toji stepped back to take a good look at him, trying to search for a mirror.

He returned when he couldn’t find one. The place was still in the process of being designed and it didn’t have many things in it yet. He pouted and tried his best to not touch his face where his temporary tattoos were.

”I can’t see it…How can I see it?” Sukuna took his phone out, lifting Yuuji up and showing the screen of the camera app. Yuuji gaped. “Wow! I look like you Ryo!! “

Sukuna smiled and took a photo of Yuuji and him. “Hey! I looked bad! Let me pose first!”

“You’re crossing the line.” Sukuna closed his phone to put it back in his pocket. Then he lifted his head up to see Toji taking their photos. Yuuji smiled. “Toji-oniisan! Take another please! “

”Sukuna. Smile a bit.” Ryomen snarled at him. “Why are you taking photos without my permission, dumbass?” Yet he smiled nevertheless. Toji took a couple photos of them. Yuuji tried to kiss Sukuna on the cheek in one of them. The next was Sukuna holding Yuuji to the air, away from him with a frown. And one of them was Sukuna ruining the paint on Yuuji’s face with his thumb, laughing as he did so.

Then Toji scolded him for that, redoing Yuuji’s tattoo eventually. He later sent all the photos he took to both Choso and Sukuna. He didn’t expect to text with both of them that night.

toji zenin

[Photo]

00.35

Sukuna

thanks

00.46

are you free this weekend

00.49

toji zenin

not very much why

00.55

Sukuna

nevermind then

00.56

toji zenin

What is wrong with you again

why are you asking if you wont tell me the reason asshole

00.57

Sukuna

dont talk to me like taht

i just

wantedto invite you to our practice again

00.57

in the studio you know

just gona record the last part

00.59

toji zenin

ı thought it was already finished?

uraume sent me the last part last night

01.00

why redo?

01.01

Sukuna

I didnt like the last part

the scream

01.01

not good enough

toji zenin

it never is good enough for you.

I think its nice

even though you scream like a madman.

it sounds fine to me

01.03

Sukuna

it has to be better than that

toji zenin

you’re gonna strain your voice real bad is what you lookin for

it wont gonna satisfy u it’ll just hurt your throat

uraume told you to rest

so rest you f*cking manece

01.04

Sukuna

so you comin? :D

toji zenin

f*cking idiot. I hate you.

Sukuna

whats w all the dots and all

u comin or not??

toji zenin

I’ll be there.

Sukuna

stop w the formality u f*ck

seen 02.01

Just as Toji closed his phone,it vibrated with a call this time. He lifted his head to look who it was and the screen was lit up with the name “Choso Itadori”. He let out a confused “Huh”. What could it be to make Choso call him at this hour? He accepted the call and leaned back on his bed.

“Yes?” He said as soon as he picked up.

“Toji-kun, sorry for calling at this hour- maybe it wasn’t the best time…” Choso talked quietly, probably Yuuji was sleeping beside him and Sukuna was at home.

“No,” Toji sighed, he was tired but he had tolerated talking to Sukuna so he could tolerate Choso twice more. “Actually it’s fine, I wasn’t sleeping. “

Choso kept talking with a low tone, Toji could pick up some footsteps. “Oh good then, I was just going to ask you if you wanted to join us at the ‘home’. For the ‘Curses’ project.”

Was he really going to do this at this hour? He could handle everything but not something like this? What was this sudden offer about?

”The group barely has anything to do with me. What am I even going to do there if I join? “

Choso now talked more freely, clearly he’s outside now. “It’s not about doing something. Well it is but you already do much for us. Enough for everyone to accept you inside. So, I want to offer you this…For you to have a house and room of your own.”

Oh how considerate…Toji thought for a moment, not taking it seriously but then he realizes it’s Choso. Not some random person that makes unnecessary promises.

Before he could talk, Choso continued. “At least until you have it on your own.” Then a small silence, Choso sounded panicked a little. “I mean! You don’t have to accept it. It’s not a show of us. I just thought you’d like a place where you can work freely since you…You know.. Ryomen sometimes talks about it. “ Of course that bastard talked about it!

“Choso-kun.” He said, quietly. He couldn’t answer right away. Not that it was a problem, not that he felt humiliated. And definitely not that he felt lost. But because he felt hopeful. “We can talk about this…later. I want to sleep now.”

Choso held a breath. “Oh! Right, I won’t hold you more, Toji-kun. Thank you- “ Just as Toji looked at his phone to close the call, he heard Choso talk again. “Also, Yuuji thanks you for everything too. He almost cried after washing the paint but…He was happy. So thank you.”

Toji smiled, but rolled his eyes and sighed for Choso to understand. “Stop thanking me for nothing. It’s…my pleasure. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t want to. “

Choso giggled. “Yes, we know. Goodnight, Toji-kun.”

Choso actually wanted to tell how he missed seeing Sukuna laughing and giggling genuinely. How he never thought he’d see him smiling at his phone but he just saw him smiling as he was texting to this specific person. How Sukuna wrote songs and sang them with passion after months of depression. He wanted to thank Toji for letting Sukuna in his life and turning it into something better, just thanks to that Choso was able to see his brother happy.

But for now, this was more than enough.

When the weekend comes, Toji finds a way to sneak out of the house. He already told his mother that he will be out for the day and probably come back late due to “extra lessons” he’s taking from Sukuna, which isn’t exactly a lie since Sukuna scheduled an actual day for them to study history. He already started reading the workbooks Sukuna gave him, at least trying to catch up to some basic knowledge.

But it wasn’t exactly true either. He was just trying to get away from the house. Not that he really wanted to watch Sukuna sing, more likely strain his voice, but it kinda was the only way to escape his own mind. And he…kinda missed Sukuna.

They saw each other across the hallways. Sometimes at the cafeteria, sometimes at the garden but they just walk past each other.

Toji doesn’t know what happened for them to drift apart this much but he didn’t think it was something wrong he did. They fought and bickered all the time but none of them were serious for them. And they were getting along just fine, Sukuna had texted him just at the beginning of the week but they didn’t talk for the whole week.

Toji was curious about the reason. And a little bit annoyed. They locked eyes once and Toji could see Sukuna smile at him oh so fondly it got Toji stepping forward to get closer without him noticing the urge. When he noticed what he did he stopped midway and watched Sukuna walk to the other side, not looking back at him twice.

Toji then wondered if Sukuna was trying a joke on him or something else but either way it was annoying as f*ck. He wanted this to finish and he only could see Sukuna at the studio. That pushed him to sneak out.

It looked like Sukuna missed him too.

It wasn’t said directly or even mentioned. But Sukuna hasn’t left his side since he arrived. He wasn’t the one to welcome him inside but was Uraume. But as soon as he was inside Sukuna stood up to his side, brushing their hands together for a moment before welcoming him with a smile he’s not used to. Toji wondered if he was drunk for a moment.

Turns out he just missed the close intimacy. Sukuna often touched Toji’s hand, sat close enough to have their shoulders brushing everytime they moved, he even held him by his waist when they walked inside the studio. It was also so funny to watch Sukuna doze off, forgetting he has to leave Toji alone with Uraume and be at the other side of the glass. He was the one singing anyway. He flinched with realization and left the room , again, not looking back at Toji.

So what was this about? Toji’s heart started to skip a beat then started to get faster as Sukuna kept touching him, his warm hands caressing his cold ones. It didn’t make any sense to him. Why did his body welcome this intimacy so casually, like it was something that already should have been. He didn’t react like this before when Sukuna held his wrist to drag him somewhere. He didn’t feel his heart race when Sukuna watched him painting Yuuji’s face. And most definitely he didn’t feel like falling onto his blood red eyes whenever he looked into them.

Or maybe he did, he just noticed now. He didn’t really understand or care. It felt like warm blankets and a cup of coffee on a cold winter day, which he really hated but now both his mind and body needed it like water. Sukuna acted like he missed him and that was all Toji needed. He just wanted to hear it from him like how his hands touched his skin, he needed his voice to corrupt his mind with the words.

So if he watched Sukuna sing and scream his brains out, he didn’t really listen. He watched his lips move, his hands going through his hair once in a while to slick his hair back. He watched him gasp for air and his hands shake as he held the microphone. It always went like this, especially for this one song. Sukuna was pushing his limits for it to be the best. Toji always thought the first two songs were better than this since they were quieter and Sukuna sang them with kindness, with feelings. Now it sounded forced, because he forced himself to sing better. Scream better, sound better. Toji had realized this much before. That Sukuna will be destroying himself in order to reach his ideals. The ideals that no one cares about but him.

“He strained his voice, I’m sure.” Uraume said with a bit of anger in their voice, standing up and stopping the recording to walk out, appearing at the other side of the glass. Toji just watched as Uraume forced Sukuna to look at him as he coughed, holding his neck as his brows knitted and eyes watered with pain. He looked so scared and not himself, it hurt to watch.

So he won’t be hearing from Sukuna for a while now.

“That idiot finally did it!“ Satoru laughed like he was expecting this. He did, actually. Pretty much like everyone else in the room, whoever knows Sukuna at least a little bit would expect this to happen eventually.

And it happened before, too. Almost a year ago when they first started producing music. They didn’t have a proper studio back then, just the one that school provides to them. Which they got used to after a while. The poor soundproof walls and glass were barely the only problem but they menaged.

Right back then Sukuna decided that he should be better. Which, everyone said that to themselves, it was just a start and they were a bunch of highschoolers who were trying to form a real band out of a damn school music club. It was pretty normal for their first times to sound like someone was torturing them.

Sukuna though, he didn’t wait for another day to try again, forcing his voice to sound better, louder and fitting. He ended up screaming one part of the song more than ten times a day, tiring himself and the group not by wasting more time but from concern.

He stopped, when Choso’s hands started to hurt from playing the guitar to Sukuna’s liking. And he was rescued from straining his throat to the fullest. He just drank a couple glasses of hot honeyed tea and didn’t talk that night. That was it and it passed quite out of trouble.

Now, he learnt not to force the group to play better or even with him, but he forced himself to push his limits. His training was out of control and Uraume warned him more than twice for that. Sukuna shrugged them off and continued. A stubborn ass, he is.

“Well none of us are actually surprised…He wasn’t, too.“ Choso said as he picked the olives out of his sandvich, passing them to Satoru’s plate.

“Yeah I’m sure. He knew it would end up like this. Gosh, it’s funny how stubborn he is!“ Satoru took a bite off his own sandvich, leaning back and sighing. Choso remained silent for a while and Satoru looked up from his plate to see him watching his own hands, biting his lips. He quickly pressed a thumb over his lips, stopping him from chewing on them. “Hey don’t be sad about it.“

Choso looked up, meeting Satoru’s soft, blue eyes. “He refused to come today. I’m- I know it’s the best for him to stay and rest but he didn’t even look up to me. “

Satoru brought his hand to Choso’s, caressing the other boy’s cheek and arm down his way. “That’s f*cking Ryomen we’re talking about! He will be mad about it and will make it everyones problem.“ That didn’t seem to make Choso feel a bit better, but he held Satoru’s hands between his, sighing.

“I’m scared that it will be like how it was once…After mother died.“ His voice trembled. He bit his lips again and looked away, hiding his glassy eyes from Satoru’s gaze. Satoru shifted on his place, sitting more up. He hated to see Choso cry. Sukuna wasn’t his problem but Choso was.

He stood, stepping on the empty side of the table and getting on top of it. Choso gasped, looking up, baffled. “Satoru! Come down-“

Satoru didn’t wait a second to step across and land on Choso’s side, his back leaning over the desk. Choso turned his body halfway, looking around if anyone noticed Satoru stepping on the table with dirty shoes. “You really should stop doing that!“

“Doing what? I simply wanted to be next to you- and I wanted it fast.“ Satoru chuckled and saw a glimpse of joy on Choso’s face too.

He reached out and held Choso by the waist, helping him turn over and press their chests together. Choso sighed. “You’re doing such things… Embarrassing.“ He pressed his forehead to Satoru’s shoulder, letting him caress his sides and hair. Satoru’s breath was warm against him, tickling his ear.

“But you find them cute.“ He whispered this time, chuckling at how Choso flinched and tried to push away with a giggle. “It’s tickling!“ Satoru held him in his place by the waist, not letting him go as he pressed his lips against his cheek, placing loud kisses on purpose just to embarrass Choso. “Satoru!“ He was stopped by the palms of scarred hands. Satoru smirked against them, seeing Choso in such a state, his face red and holding back a smile, his glassy eyes ready to cry.

He softened his gaze and Choso withdrew his hands, placing them on both sides of Satoru, finding their place on his shoulders. He pressed their foreheads together and Choso sighed, his breath hitching and trembling.

“It will be okay as long as you smile, my love.“ Choso closed his eyes as Satoru spoke with a tone that could sing poems. “You have the vigor of bringing anyone you lay your love on to ease. Such power and you’re not aware of it.“

Choso smiled through his tears. Whispering back “What if I can’t carry such power and get crushed beneath it?“ His hands tightened around Satoru’s shoulders, trembling. He didn’t want to think of a possibility where he lets Yuuji and Sukuna down. Where he has to watch them drown but he can’t rescue them, bring them back from the ditch they died. He was scared that if one day he lets go of them, their lifeless eyes will be the first thing he will see when he gets a hold of them again.

He was scared to be left alone, to feel alone. He was afraid of not being enough for them to deserve anything in the first place.

Satoru’s hands found his cheeks, lifting his face up to catch him with his eyes again. “Then I’ll carry you. Hold it for you.“ He smiled. Choso felt his cheeks burn and tears felt like lava. “I’m the strongest after all!“

He chuckled, leaning against Satoru’s hand. “You’re an idiot…Sometimes more than Ryomen…“

“Don’t bring him into this competition! I would win it anyway.“ Satoru rolled his eyes, smirking. Choso kissed that smirk out of him, lasting only two seconds but it was enough to make the strongest one blush like a madman.

They stood there breathing into each other’s space. “Wow.“ Was the first thing Satoru said. “That was such a win, really.“

And Choso laughed. It was enough to bring anyone back to life. Satoru, at least, felt alive.

It was painfully quiet at home. Not going to school was a bad idea but he would rather die than walk around the school not being able to let out any kind of sound. His friends barely understood his gestures, he didn’t want to beat someone up to tell what he wanted.

He tried to destress and lay back, home was his and he had at least a couple weeks that will be going to pass like this. He could watch the ceiling and embrace things that are happening, or he could pout all day, refusing to do anything.

But hell it was boring as f*ck.

Choso left Yuuji at the kindergarten and he himself had to go to school. Sukuna could be sick as f*ck but life was going on for them. Uraume had said they wouldn't be able to come because of recent work and they were busy enough. Who could Sukuna blame but not himself?

He was laying on the couch scrolling through Instagram once again. He rewatched Choso’s stories of today and thought of being there to beat the sh*t out of Satoru. He got to be able to touch his brother and reveal it publicly, it was enough reason to beat him up. But Choso looked so happy in the photos so he couldn’t even reply to the stories.

Once again a wave of thoughts corrupted his mind. Toji never mentioned if he had any social media accounts, he never asked, too. If he had one, Choso probably would be following him. He decided to check his brother’s following list, which was almost two hundred people. It didn’t make any sense to him, even if Choso followed him, he’d already know about it. But the small chance of Choso not mentioning it because Sukuna barely used Instagram existed and it was enough to keep searching.

He saw many profiles that were hidden, those damn private accounts. He had his own account open, he didn’t have any photos in his account anyway. Now he realized, he doesn’t even have a profile picture. If he were to find Toji’s account, he should be having a profile picture at least.

He pressed the back button, humming at himself and then coughing. Even a small sound out of him was enough to cause pain. He forgot about that. He squeezed his eyes closed and then back to work. He had to find a good photo of him which was hard, not because he looked bad on any pictures or he didn’t have any pictures but because every one of them were awesome.

He scrolled through his gallery. Maybe he could post some of them later. But a profile picture was prior. He wondered if Toji even had Instagram, would he use it regularly?

He didn’t think so. He was busy enough not to use such apps. Sukuna doubts if he ever played a video game in his life. Maybe he should be asking him to play on his PS when he sees him again. Which he didn’t know when and it stressed him out more. When he found a photo of himself he took weeks ago, one that he took after a shower,his hair was still dripping wet and his pink strands looked a bit darker due to being wet. He cringed on it, frowning. He wouldn’t put it on if it didn’t look hot. All for a nice looking account on a damn social media he didn’t even use other than stalking people and saving funny cat videos. And sometimes…nevermind.

He kept on checking Choso's account to maybe find Toji crumbs. Choso’s account had everything in it. Cat photos, random street dogs and zoo photos, study times, travels, hangouts, his own mirror photos, some videos where he played guitar and sang. When he scrolled upper he saw the new photos that he sent a couple weeks ago when he started using Instagram regularly again. There was a group photo of them, Sukuna was also in it and his name was tagged on him when he tapped the photo once. His eyes wandered, Mahito’s instagram account, Hanami’s, Jogo’s, there even was Satoru’s account tagged even though he wasn’t even there. Choso tagged him right where his guitar was. A comment made by the said tag caught his eye. ‘you look the coolest!! ı love euuu uuu’ Sukuna physically wanted to puke.

Then he saw a random tag on the corner of the photo. Something like “user14142563“ and he recalled the time when he first saw it. He thought it was Jogo’s temporary account but now he had to check every detail, just to reach Toji’s probably non existent profile.

He clicked the tag and ended up on an account without a single photo and a black screen as a profile photo. He frowned, if not gonna use a profile why add a black screen on it? His eyes wandered around the account that was probably used regularly before because it had almost one hundred followers and twenty follows. He saw one single highlight that was there and opened it, praying that this person posted their photos so he could understand who this was.

He was welcomed with a photo of a quite organized room, a mirror photo that had the person who took the photo hidden by the phone. It was quite dark too, the person in front of it wasn’t even visible so Sukuna swiped to the other photo of the five. This one was clearer and definitely had Toji in it. The dark hair spreaded on the pillow, dark green eyes intensely glowing under the low light reflected from the phone screen. He looked a lot younger and thinner. He checked the date and found out it was taken three years ago. Sukuna inhaled deeply and swiped, next one was also Toji, this photo was obviously taken by someone else. And this person should be really close with Toji because he was laughing in the photo. His face was blurry but Sukuna could pick out his sharp features. His silhouette blocking the sunlight. His hair was longer back then. This one was also two years ago, a month before they started senior highschool.

He looked a lot happier. He wondered what happened. Maybe he had a problem with his friend? Sukuna is sure Toji doesn’t have many people he talks to besides the group. He swiped. This one didn’t have Toji’s face in it but a painting. There was a masked man in the center of it, bowing in front of empty seats of an opera building. The man had three bodies hanging from the ceiling above behind him. It looked like a suicide show but when he eximined the details he could see hand prints on the bodies even though they were painted with pure black. Sukuna frowned, since when did Toji used pure black on his art? It didn’t look bad as Toji said before back then when he was painting Yuuji’s tattoos.

Next thing he realized about the art was that the masked man’s hands were red, not like a blood texture but his own skin. Like he was doing this for a lifetime that blood became his skin. He looked back at the bodies and noticed that their faces were sculpted like the mask the man had. Sukuna looked at this painting longer than he wanted and he started to become eerie. He swiped after seeing Toji’s signature and name beneath all the scene he just witnessed.

The very last photo was brighter than the rest, this one was posted two months ago. How come he never knew? He remembers this day. This was the morning before they walked to the beach and screamed their lungs out. It probably was taken on his way to the studio. A casual selfie he took as he smiled gently. That bastard never smiled that gently to him, now he finds out he actually is capable of doing so and he only does it to a damn phone camera.

He breathed out. He now found Toji’s dumb Instagram account. The account wasn’t private so he just followed him and closed the phone like it burned his eyes. He wasn’t expecting anything back. He doubts he even had the app installed at all.

Then he heard the bell ring.

He checked the clock in case he spent all day scrolling through Instagram to find Toji’s account and Choso was back from school. But it was barely noon. He was hopeful that it was Uraume or something but they wouldn’t come without a call or a text. He got up, he couldn’t even yell at the door when it rang again. He opened the door wide just to face the guy he just stalked.

He opened his mouth to talk but he closed it as soon as he opened it. He sighed with frustration.

“Don’t try talking, I know what you’ll say anyway. Get in dumbass.“ Toji let himself in before Sukuna could move from his spot. It reminded him of the day Toji visited him for the first time, fell asleep and woke up on his bed a year ago. He closed the door behind him and followed Toji inside.

“I bet you didn’t even have breakfast. You can’t take medicine before eating.“ Toji placed his bag on the kitchen counter, watching Sukuna as he slowly walked to the kitchen. Sukuna rolled his eyes, pouting. He wasn’t even able to snarl at him. Toji giggled.

“Wow you are better when you can’t talk for real. Idiot. “ He mocked him and then turned around, finding a pan and setting it on the counter. “Do you want pancakes or fries? I can make crepes too.“ Sukuna walked around the counter, humming quietly as he stood right behind Toji, his chest against his back. Toji’s breath hitched, he didn’t turn around, he was already used to Sukuna’s addiction for physical contact.

“Tell me with your fingers..or something.“ He said with a lower tone. He didn’t need his voice wavering. Sukuna may not be able to talk now but he’d definitely make fun of it someway.

Sukuna thought a bit. He only cared and wondered about why Toji was here and not school. But he could ask for it later, when he can separate himself from the warmth of Toji’s presence and leave his side to grab his phone. He put three fingers up and showed it to Toji. “Okay, crepes, then.“

It took a turn of his head and a stare for Sukuna to move a bit aside, letting Toji walk around freely. He stepped back, leaning on the counter and watched Toji find ingredients like he placed them there himself.

Toji didn’t visit him regularly, either. But he and Uraume were the ones that cooked for Yuuji’s birthday. And even when Toji doesn’t cook, he watches Uraume do it. More like out of boredom rather than curiosity. Sukuna always found it fascinating how Toji remembered things, and after seeing that painting on his story, he was smitten. He wished he could read minds so he could see what Toji imagined as his hands worked with the ingredients, making the best crepes Sukuna will ever taste, probably.

“Are you gonna stand there? If you’re going to be a bullet-ass-head you are and won’t rest, at least set the plates and extras on the counter.“ Toji didn’t look as he murmured.

Sukuna quietly turned around to get his phone first. He needed to share his thoughts somehow or he’ll die out of boredom. It was starting to feel like his voice was trapped inside his damn mind. When he returned, he placed his phone open on the counter and picked two plates out of the cupboard, setting them on the table too. He opened the fridge and pulled out things sweet like honey and jams. He just realized how hungry he was as the crepes Toji was making started to smell a bit too good.

He stood up from the fridge , holding too many things at once so he had to close the fridge with his ass. He didn’t look for a moment and bumped into Toji who was stepping back to place a whole plate of crepes aside. Crepes were saved but a bottle of jam slipped out of his hand and hit the ground, glass breaking into pieces and jam taking over his kitchen tiles. He looked up back at Toji and opened his mouth to yell at him, Toji shushed him so quickly. “Shut the f*ck up right now. It’s your fault in the first place! And second, you shouldn’t be making any noise!“

After Toji’s scolding was done, he placed the plate on the counter, grabbing the other things Sukuna had on his hands and setting them in the middle. “Don’t dare step on any broken glass.“

Sukuna harshly moved his hands around, knitting his eyebrows in exasperation, gesturing himself and shaking his head. Toji stood before Sukuna, the mess of jam separating them. “Yeah you are! You’re an idiot. Stay there and uh-“ Toji looked around and grabbed Sukuna’s phone from the counter, handing it over to Sukuna.

“Write where the hell is the mop- and maybe also pick a towel and clean it off the tiles.“ Sukuna gritted his teeth, typing angrily on his notes app. He turned the screen to Toji.

‘DONT ORDER ME AROUND YOU FCKING BASTARD’

Toji gaped, grimacing as he yelled a bit louder this time. “Tell me where the hell is the f*cking- forget it, you’re so f*ckin slow, I’m gonna find it myself.“ Before Sukuna started to type anything else, Toji disappeared into the hallway as he yelled again. “Be f*cking careful! Don’t cut yourself too.“

Sukuna kicked the chair beside him, whining in pain after he did. He took a deep breath and grabbed a bunch of paper towels, crouching down and cleaning as much as he could. He then threw the jammed paper towel to the trash. Most of the broken glass was gone with the paper towels, he actually felt lucky that he did not cut himself. As he smiled proudly to himself and once again bent down to pick up bigger broken places, he did cut himself. He didn’t even hiss with the pain but he wanted to crush his head onto something.

He picked up the rest and threw them into the trash. He looked around to see if any piece was left, holding a piece of paper towel on his finger, trying to stop the bleeding. If he was lucky-

“You cut yourself didn’t you.“ Oh who he was kidding with. Luck wasn’t on his side anymore. He sighed and reached out to grab his phone before Toji reached him, stopping him and unwrapping the paper towel. “f*cking dumbass. Did you even clean it?“ Sukuna shook his head, looking away. He felt his cheeks getting warmer. How stupid this whole scene was, like the K-Dramas Choso always watched with their mother. He pouted as Toji wetted another paper towel and cleaned the small cut.

“This is stupid, I can’t believe I’m treating a small cut your clumsy ass managed to pull.“ Sukuna never looked into someone’s face so fast before. Toji was blushing. Blushing and pouting at the same time and it could be the second cutest thing he ever saw. He saw Toji’s lips move and eyes find his own before he heard him.

“The hell are you looking at? I’m done, let me clean the tiles,“ Before Sukuna could hold him in his place Toji was moved aside, grabbing the mop and cleaning the sticky jam out of the tiles. “Don’t start eating without me.“

Sukuna sighed, grabbing his phone and taking a big step across the ground Toji moped. He sat on his chair and started typing on his notes. He placed it aside until Toji joined him on the table. Sukuna leaned into his arms and watched Toji.

He looked baffled for a moment, squinting his eyes as he was trying to remember something. He leaned the mop on the wall beside the door.

“Ah, drinks.“ Toji looked at Sukuna as he was expecting an answer like coffee or tea. Sukuna just pointed at the fridge and sat straight. The orange juice he’s been holding himself back from drinking was set in front of him. Yuuji will kill him for that but it’s future Sukuna’s problem. Now he wanted to eat.

Toji sat on the chair across from him, pouring orange juice into his own glass. Ryomen held his phone towards Toji, asking him the question he wanted to ask from the beginning.

‘why are you even here? school not importnt anymore?’

Toji tilted his head a bit, almost not believing Sukuna would type that. “What? Why are you here then? Your throat wasn’t important enough for you yeah?“

Sukuna snarled at Toji, the first time he heard Sukuna after the studio. He smirked. He wasn’t here to mock him, but he was driving him mad.

“Okay, I wanted to accompany you, is all. I heard Uraume was busy.“

Sukuna typed fastly.

’Didn’t want to leave me alone? how adorable’ Since Sukuna couldn’t put a tone in a text, he smirked instead.

“Yeah dumbass. I’m here to make sure you don’t do dumb sh*t like forgetting your medicines and meals.“ Toji took a bite out of his crepe. “Also I brought some tea.“

Sukuna turned to type in but Toji stopped him. “For your f*cking throat. It’ll soften it and won’t hurt for a while. Still, you shouldn’t talk.“

Sukuna nodded and rolled his eyes, sighing. He started eating his own crepe. It tasted better than he imagined. Every bite hurt his throat like hell but he ate two crepes slowly.

Having Toji over wasn’t bad at all.

He took his medicine in time. A single pill and a spray. Both were painful in their own ways.

He hoped the tea Toji was preparing wouldn’t taste like Coca Cola or something. He leaned on his phone, posting some old photos to Instagram. Toji didn’t check his phone yet, he wondered if his follower notification was still there.

He was able to make a sound or two after the throat spray, but Toji wasn’t allowing him to make any of those too. Sukuna would curse at him if he could right now. He wasn’t even allowed in the kitchen because apparently he was blocking Toji’s movements. He hated the way both his mind and heart obeyed him like it was a spell casted on him.

Toji was happy with the results. He also was happy Sukuna wasn’t able to talk, it was barely one day since he strained his voice anyway. He was able to talk that day but the morning after was a disaster. Choso informed them about Sukuna’s state through the groupchat he was in. They had discussed it for a couple minutes. Everyone decided it was the best for him to rest. Sukuna joined the conversation later, saying he was fine and the dumbasses shouldn’t even be mentioning it.

Toji decided he wouldn’t be letting Sukuna stay at home for the whole week, not seeing him for days after they just got back together from days of not interacting. Whatever even that means, Toji wasn’t going to leave him alone. He didn’t know why Sukuna’s absence was driving him mad but he didn’t care about that.

Sukuna he knows would definitely skip meals because his throat hurts. Sukuna he knows would forget his medicines or just skip them too.

And Sukuna he knows would go mad if he gets bored, all alone, not being able to do what he likes the most.

Looking after him wasn’t his destiny like Merlin’s destiny to look after f*cking Arthur Pendragon. But he was here, already missing his voice. And he wanted to fix that problem.

He poured the hot tea in Sukuna’s mug, setting it on the coffee table between two couches. He eyed Sukuna who was now sitting up to grab his mug. He waved Toji off when he warned him that it was still hot as lava. He blew the halituous tea before taking a sip that burned his lips to the atoms but he didn’t say a word about it and glanced at Toji to shut him up even before he opened his mouth.

They sat in silence for a long time, Toji sometimes reminding Sukuna to sip his tea and he himself leaning back, watching the ceiling. It reminded him of the first time he came over Sukuna’s house.

He was so tired and foggy. His mind was filled with lots of things and nothing at the same time. Maybe all disturbing notions invading his mind was the reason he couldn’t think straight before deciding to run over to one place he thought he wouldn’t come running. Sukuna didn’t need to know that. But Toji’s heart knew the place he’ll find peace was beside him. Just two streets away, two classrooms, sometimes two steps, sometimes two inches.

Now they were just one. Their shoulders brushing everytime one of them moved. Their eyes meeting whenever Toji looked his way but he never dared asking why he was watching him like he was a movie. He wouldn’t be getting the answer he wanted anyway. ‘You’re just so beautiful.’ ‘I love having you here, by my side’ .

“I missed you.“ His breath hitched and he looked away from the ceiling, facing the opposite direction from Sukuna. He didn’t just say that out loud did he? Even if he didn’t, Sukuna heard him. He always heard him. When he wasn’t feeling like talking, when he went non-verbal for almost a week and Sukuna heard all his thoughts. He always knew what he wanted. Most definitely, he always heard his smallest of whispers.

Right there wasn’t exactly a whisper, too. It was a breath, like he inhaled it as it was wandering around the air between them and exhaled by accident. He shut his eyes closed, facing Sukuna again as he opened them, sighing. As he was about to apologize for that sudden confession, the light of the notes app reflected on his face and he squinted his eyes for a second, wincing as his eyes ached.

‘I missed you too’

Behind the phone, Sukuna smirked. Tch’ing as he retreated his hand and erased the words from the notes, not glancing at Toji before he started writing a new one.

Toji’s heart fluttered. If he didn’t expect Sukuna to let him stay at his house for more than two hours, he definitely didn’t expect him to confess such a thing. Not that what he did was expected by any kind of living creature, obviously.

It appears Sukuna wasn’t keeping his distance by purpose. Toji suspected that possibility just for a second, then he completely dismissed the thought when he remembered how physically active Sukuna was around him and how it drove both of them insane.

He didn’t think of an answer to the mutual confession so he just waited Sukuna’s next wave of text.

‘I wasnt ignoring you on purpose

I dont what happened though

I hated every second of it’

Toji sighed, at least there wasn’t a reason for it, which meant the whole week was just dumb itself. Then he giggled. “What is that, idiot? Are you writing songs on second now? “ He looked and saw Sukuna pouting, retreating his hand back and deleting the words. He looked away.

“Okay don’t make that face. I hated it too. I knew the universe loved playing with me but that was…weird. My whole week was weird actually.“ Toji felt like he overshared for the first time. He shut his mouth as Sukuna’s fingers worked on his keyboard, now his whole body turned towards Toji, his knee brushing his thigh.

‘Tell me about it then’

Toji knitted his eyebrows. “About what? My week?“ Sukuna nodded, humming hoarsely. “Nah- it wasn’t that weird actually. Just a couple things going on…“ He winced in pain and flinched as Sukuna pinched his thigh. He looked at Sukuna who was again, pouting at him with a playful anger.

“That hurt, asshole.“ He leaned back, feeling his whole body tense as he felt warm hands caress his thigh, right where the same hands pinched at seconds ago and further. He didn’t like his cheeks heating up, he heard his hoarse, broken whisper before he could put himself together. “Toji.“

He held onto the hand that caressed his thigh, like it burned his skin. Sukuna stopped right away, not retreating his hand back as Toji kept holding him.

“Okay okay! Don’t talk…“ He let go of his hand , trying to recover from earlier. Sukuna tilted his head, smirking at him like he won a bet made between them secretly.

“Choso-san asked me to move on to the house ‘Cursed’.“ He said straight away. Sukuna looked at him for a second, two seconds before nodding, signing him to keep going. Toji knew it was his idea.

“Was it your idea? God damn I should have known!“ He snarled, Ryomen dug his fingers onto his shoulder, drawing his attention, once again in the most painful way he could ever find. He shook his head, muttering a soundless “No.“

“Oh. Well anyway then. I’m thinking about it, still. “ A side of him wanted to move out from his sh*tty house forever, but he also knew Choso’s offer was to stay there, not move out fully. And he knew it also meant he had to return home once a while. There wouldn’t be rules, knowing how Sukuna and the others argued a lot about the ground rules. There wasn’t a single rule about a timeout. He also knew that Mahito too, probably will be staying there until he gets bored and visit his own sh*tty household only when he has to. So it relieved him to find out he wouldn’t be kicked out and sent to his home to someone else’s liking.

“I might accept. I want to, at least. I didn’t inform my family about it yet. But they’re already wanting me out. “ He answered before Sukuna could ask, his hand stopping before reaaching his phone. “They think I should be earning money and having a place of my own already.“

Sukuna grimaced like he always did when Toji talked about his family. Toji smiled.

“I know. It’s nonsense but a 16 year old should be able to live on their own, according to them. “ He moved his body, facing Sukuna as the albino boy grabbed his shoulder, guiding him to turn until their knees touch. He leans his head on to the couch, realizing how his hair grew out, his roots white and longer.

“I will find a small job I can earn money from.. And move out to the ‘Cursed’.“

Sukuna imitated Toji, leaning his cheek on the back of the couch, listening to him with interest as his hands wander around once again, finding their place on Toji’s thigh and leading his leg on to his side, dragging Toji slowly by it until his other thigh lull with Sukuna’s while the other is resting against his hip.

He’s basically on his lap, yet he finds it useless to say anything. If not, his body wouldn’t move with his own orders anyway. He lets Sukuna feed himself after a week of starving.

“I won’t be leaving your sight even at home.“ Toji whispered, looking down at Sukuna’s phone, watching his fingers move and type the words together.

’Can’t get rid of you for real’

“You don’t want to, dumbass. Look at you.“

‘what’s with me?’

“Your tea is cold.“

‘go to hell’

“And your white is showing“ Sukuna’s hand quickly finds his hair, messing with the strands. “You look fine.“ Sukuna doesn’t move when Toji’s hand caresses his hair, taking a closer look, Toji lies to himself as he feels soft strands on his palm.

He lets his hand travel down to his neck, his thumb caressing his throat. He feels Sukuna gulping under his fingertips. Even in this age, he has a thick neck which Toji’s hand can’t wrap around it fully if he tried with both. Their difference in size was something he will never get over, Toji wasn’t small himself, for his age. He’s big, even, compared to his siblings and his whole family.

He often felt the difference around Sukuna, now it was different. Their skin touched, their legs brushed, intertwined. He didn’t exactly feel small, but he felt safe with his presence.

“You’ll be fine, if you take your medication.“ It sounded more like a warning rather than a fact. But it had its own grace in it. “I also- f*cking missed your voice.“

“Oh you did?“

“Do not f*cking talk. You idiot.“

He pretended his heart didn’t just skip a couple beats, only letting him breathe when he steps out of the house. But the memory of the feeling doesn’t leave him as he waves Sukuna goodbye, reminding him to take his medications, and walk home.

The next day Toji didn’t visit him. Sukuna didn’t ask why or even texted him about anything. Instead, Uraume paid him a visit, checking on his medication and brewing some tea Toji brought and left for Sukuna to do himself but he didn’t find the idea of waking up at six A.M to take medication and brew tea instead of coffee appealing enough.

Uraume found it ethical to unlock their door with the spare keys Sukuna gave them and barg into his room with a cup of lemon tea and a glass of water though. It wasn’t the first time this was happening so Sukuna wasn’t surprised but just a little bit annoyed because of being waken up from amazing dreams where he and one specific person were together.

Uraume didn’t talk through it like Toji did, probably aiming to avoid Sukuna’s attempts at trying to talk. It happened fast and felt like never happened, if don’t count the tense seconds Sukuna had after waking up to disgusting tea and medicines.

After Uraume left, wishing Sukuna to get better and warning him once again to not skip anything.

Then Sukuna went straight back to the bed, hoping to continue his dreams where he had to left off. Maybe he could text Toji later, but now he felt too tired.

He woke up in the middle of the night, consequences of sleeping all day. He barely remembers waking up at certain hours and taking medicine before he sleeps back. It felt like those summer days where he didn’t have a single problem to deal with in day time so he and Choso used to play games all day, pulling an all nighter and sleeping at day time. Mother never approved it, but she wouldn’t punish them for having fun.

She was happy her sons were finally getting along after a tough childhood.

He watched the ceiling, flaming red with the reflection from his led lights he forgot to turn off before going back to sleep after listening to Choso talk about things he barely remembered now.

It probably was about his day, he sat beside his legs on the bed and talked as Ryomen curled into himself, watching the led lights reflect on his brother’s face, softening and shining as he talked. Sukuna hated listening, he was always the one to talk. They both talked over each other whenever they had a conversation. It often ended up with small bickerings but they were both satisfied anyway.

That was different, this time he had to listen and nod, hum quietly which made Choso giggle and smile every time. He didn’t feel bad for not being able to talk but like missing out on something, which he did, too.

He sat up, groaning at the back of his throat and wincing in pain. His throat didn’t feel as bad as yesterday but still sting. It was 3AM and it was quiet outside. He grabbed his phone to check notifications. Most of them were things he already got used to. His new, now public instagram account was spread all over the school, earning him at least ten followers a day. He hasn’t started posting regularly but his reposts of Choso’s and Mahito’s useless stories were enough content for his ‘fans’.

There were new comments to his first two posts, reaching almost thirty thousand likes and unnecessary saves, more than half of them were from accounts he didn’t know, probably people who saw his Instagram from the YouTube music videos Choso posted months ago after their first successful attempt of finishing a song’s beta that will be the first song of their album when everything goes well and done.

He dismissed the Instagram and Twitter notifications and checked his messages. Choso has sent him a photo of him and Yuuji when they were smaller and a new one they just took with Choso, where they were probably walking home from the kindergarten. He rubbed his eyes, he totally forgot about the damn brat, there was just Choso to pick him up and leave home which meant Choso had to leave school for one hour just to bring Yuuji home and then walk back to school. He could have picked Yuuji up while he was at home, instead of just lazing around.

He left the photos on seen and pressed back, viewing his other messages.

He tried to ignore the big curiosity and his heart fastening when he saw messages sent from Toji and he checked the group chat first.

He leaned back and read the chat, most definitely happened at school then kept going until night. Mahito had sent them a website where they could all draw together on one page. He skipped past it but seeing the three hour gap between the link and the casual conversation, he assumed they drew for a long time. He couldn’t help but wonder if Toji, who never read the group chat, joined such an event.

He clicked the link and saw the most horrendous scene he ever saw on web.

There was a whole void in the middle and his first suspect was Mahito, which he later confirmed when he saw a stitched smiley face in the middle. Around the scary but cool void, Jogo and Hanami happened to draw each other as chibi characters, with wide cheeks and big eyes. Hanami’s drawings kept going from chibi band members to flowers and plants, Jogo joined her with his own poorly made insect sketches.

Kenjaku wasn’t even on the group chat but it appears Mahito shared the link with him too. They weren’t shy to draw themselves kissing sloppily like that one meme they showed him days ago. He didn’t hang around that area and moved on to the other corners of the page. They seemed to have a lot of fun while doing these. Some drawings that he thought were Gojo’s were drawn over and over with the same color Mahito used to create the void. Gojo then decided to draw all over a corner, filling a whole side with his own face and Choso’s pocket size version. He didn’t see any other drawings made by Gojo and Choso appeared to not join them on their session of drawing.

Apparently Toji didn’t join them either, as he predicted.

Next he did was to check Toji’s messages.

toji zenin

don’t forget the medicines

11.02

I wont come tomorrow too do u need anything from me

11.20

Next two messages had a photo attached, an orange cat that looked a bit angry from getting petted by Toji.

toji zenin

this mf looks like you

only difference is u like when I pet you

12.10

Ryomen frowned, since when Toji started teasing him about that particular reason? He wasn’t exactly getting petted, just some hair scratches and he barely liked them. Not from just anyone.

He typed furiously, replying to one specific message.

Sukuna

I dont like gettin pet

since when u pet me?

cat looks ugly af

03.45

He didn’t expect a reply soon. He had to wait for it until at least seven in the morning, maybe six if he remembers Toji’s schedule correctly.

He also realized the cat was familiar. She must be the one wandering around the school garden like it's her own place. She fights with other cats often and Mahito had fun watching them. The cat didn’t have a name- more precisely, her name changed according to people's liking. Toji must have thought that their aggressiveness was similar. That made him think more than he wanted if he looked like an angry cat when he was mad.

Toji replied exactly like he calculated, just when he was preparing breakfast and heard Choso’s door opening, walking in hurry to Yuuji’s room across the hallway.

He just got another photo attached from Toji as a reply and nothing else.

He took a selfie that reminded him of the ones he saw posted on Toji’s vacant Instagram account. The said cat was on him, blocking the view of the man’s face and looking somewhere utterly different, away from both the camera and Toji. Despite the big, grumpy cat standing like a stain on the camera lens, Sukuna could see Toji’s frown.

He left him on seen and joined Choso, feeding both him and Yuuji before they left home. His voice wasn’t back yet, not that he lost it but his throat hurt whenever he tried making the smallest of noise. He tried practicing a bit by mumbling some songs he liked to listen and sometimes talking to himself, more like whispering. If his flowers could talk, they probably would judge him for the things they heard.

“Would you like to grow up? You better grow beautifully.“ Said flower would rather murder itself than listen to Sukuna scold it for basically not being beautiful enough for his liking. Not that Sukuna would cut the uglier flowers though, he liked them enough to not slaughter them for failing something they’re not able to change.

But he’d mumble something along the lines of “Don’t dare disappoint me little girl.“ anyway.

Watering plants and collecting strawberries and some cherries were not fun enough for him, sure. But eating them after was worth all the struggle and stains on his fingers and palms. He laid a piece of paper towel inside the wicker basket Choso and Yuuji made for him to collect the fruits growing in their garden. Yuuji liked cherries a lot, while Choso never bothered to try them again after tasting one that was too sour.

After collecting enough to feed a whole family for a week or two, he placed them on bowls, then set them on the counter for his brothers to see. He washed some and ate as the water boiled inside the kettle so he could enjoy his strawberries with some tea, which he didn’t really recommend but that wasn’t his own choice. He only had a couple days of patience for his voice to return on stage, which they didn’t even have one to get on yet.

He hated children.

The type of hate that got him frowning at the public when some random baby cried or screamed for a toy their parents refused to buy due to their poverty. If he didn’t hate listening to the cries of a spoiled child, he totally despised people who couldn’t keep their own ass fed without starving for days beforehand or don’t fit the mentality of a normal human being bringing such angels to the world just to watch them suffer the same fate.

He could understand why Sukuna talked about his mother so admonishingly. Always keeping a distance with his brothers. At least a whole wall or two between him and the smaller two who never is separated from each other. That could only be explained by their mother’s understanding of life.

He just remembered why he was thinking of children. Not because one of them was crying beside him on his way home, wanting to be held by her mother like a package, but because he had his own package he had to pick up from school. It wasn’t even his own curse but one specific person’s pocket size version.

It didn’t take him a second to turn away and start running towards the building just three streets away, the small girl’s cries trailing off behind him. He must already be late by at least twenty minutes. He checked his calls, no one has called him or even messaged him. He couldn’t decide if it was a good or bad sign, but Yuuji probably being alone with a teacher and Choso not being able to even pick up a phone was a bad sign.

When he arrived, it might be just thirty minutes late but at least Yuuji wasn’t entirely alone with a teacher but a familiar face and another kid, inches shorter and slimmer than Yuuji.

“Gojo. The heck-“

Yuuji ran towards him when he was on sight, opening the small door to the garden of the school, a woman in her late twenties standing in front of the front window facing the said garden where Gojo sat beside the other kid. “Toji-oniisan! I was waiting for you to give this!“

Toji looked down, catching up his breath from running here, Yuuji held a bunch of papers that happened to be paper flowers, or tried to be, could be… “For me?“

Yuuji nodded, not having a second look if any of his paper flowers fell when he stuffed them onto Toji’s hands, tugging his shirt to lead the way. “We made it with Megumi!“

The dark haired boy blinked once, twice before looking away and waving at him. Gojo pinched his cheek and he squeaked, pushing the hand off. “Say hello to new friends! Megumi-chan, that’s rude.“ Then he could barely hear the kid mumble something like “I already waved at him…“

“It’s alright. Kid, we should go.“ Toji grabbed Yuuji’s small backpack that wasn’t exactly light in weight. He wondered if he brought all his lego sets and Transformers robots to school. “Damn, what do you carry in this?“

“Wait! I can’t go without saying byee to Megumi!“ Toji held his backpack, tossing it onto his left shoulder as his own backpack weighed on his right. “Alright, say it fast because I’ll be the one your brothers will murder if we linger any more.“

“Toji-san! Don’t mention those kinds of words in front of small kids.“ Gojo warned him with no real anger in his words but a small giggle, Megumi sighed and rolled his eyes before Yuuji distracted him with more fallen paper flowers he picked up from the ground.

“The hell are you doing here?“ Toji changed the subject into something he wondered since he got here. Gojo answered simply, shrugging his shoulders and adjusting his black, round glasses he wore everywhere at every hour.

“I’m taking care of my kid of course! Megumi-chan is under my watch.“ Said kid tried to interrupt with a bunch of words of “I’m not your-!“ But he was interrupted by Yuuji to pay attention to something else.

“So you’re his guardian. How come they trust you to look after a kid.“ Gojo’s gaze lingered on him for a dangerous while. “How did Ryo trust you with Yuuji-kun?“

“Alright f*ck off. Yuuji, are you done? It’s getting late.“

He heard Gojo giggle as he turned around and waited for Yuuji to catch up to him, waving at his friend even when he was out the doors. He could not handle that idiot’s mocking at this hour where he had to be at home already.

Yuuji walked beside him, sometimes tugging at his own backpack and unzipping it, taking out a small toy or putting another one back in.

“Toji-oniisan, thank you for picking me up today!“ Toji sighed with a smile.

“Now, who told you to thank me for that? Choso?“ Yuuji looked hurt. “Huh? No! No one told me! Well…My teachers and brothers always remind me to thank people for small things!“

“That’s good, most people don’t say ‘thanks’ anymore.“ Toji kept quiet for a while. It was almost a ten minute walk from school to Itadori’s home.

“Is Megumi your friend for a while now?“ He asked out of curiosity. Listening to people's friendship life wasn’t his cup of tea and he sucked at answering to pick up a conversation to make it fun. But Yuuji was a kid anyway.

“Yes! We already met in kindergarten and I found out he also started school the same as me! He’s my best friend now! And I am his! “ Yuuji swayed around from jumping a lot, probably finally feeling a bit dizzy. “Well, I’m his only friend I guess…He doesn’t really like to talk to people! I sometimes think he doesn’t like talking to me too…“

Oh no, kid is sad.

“Ah. It’s the case then.“ Yuuji looked up to him, letting out a curious “Hmm?“

“I’m not the best at talking to people, either. I never had close friends when I was a first schooler. Sometimes kids find it hard to communicate, but if he lets you hang around him, well, then you’re good to go.“ Yuuji’s face lightened up, running a couple steps to walk in front of Toji.

“So like Ryo and you!“ He never was so curious. “Hah?“

“You also feel like Megumi…Ryo-niisan sometimes tells how you seem to not care about his friendship!“

None of those could be real. Yuuji most definitely was exaggerating it.

“Haha, Ryomen really say that?“

Yuuji nodded and Toji let out a good laugh. “Well I do care..about his friendship, you can tell him that if you want.“ They stood in the middle of the street as Toji pondered. “You can say that it’s similar situations yes. I tend to hang out alone, Sukuna is… somehow tolerable. I can’t believe I said that but yeah. “

Yuuji giggled. “Even Choso-niisan can’t tolerate him! “ Toji giggled, he could imagine the chaos in the Itadori household whenever a smallest thing happens. If it’s not the same as the ones happening at the studio, it is definitely worse.

“Come on, keep running, Sukuna will be mad- he’s already messaging me.“

“Toji-oniisan! Can we eat waffles? We can buy some for Ryo and Choso-niisan too!“

Toji looked at the small waffle store Yuuji pointed at. It was opened a while ago and had many customers since it was the only waffle store around the town. It was also in the center of a busy street just to trap him into having this canon event. He wasn’t short on money this week, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t lie to a kid though.

“Waffles? Yuuji—“

“Pleaseee please please please?? Pretty please with a cherry on top?“

“The f*ck- did Gojo teach you that nasty sh*t?“

“Bad words Toji-oniisan!“

“Waffles?“ Sukuna’s voice cracked in a whisper. Apparently he wasn’t mad at Toji for not answering his messages but for buying him waffles and feeding Yuuji with one too. Toji shushed him, talking in a low tone to match with Sukuna’s voice.

“He asked with a cherry on top.“ Sukuna furiously went for his phone to open the app before Toji answered the unasked question. “Yes, Gojo taught him.“

Sukuna rolled his eyes, sighing as he eyed his own waffle in front of him. They had put Choso’s aside in the fridge so it wouldn’t melt until he arrives.

‘I hate waffles

theyre too high on calorie and tastes too sweet for my liking’

“Yuuji chose the toppings for you, eat it or he will be mad. Do you want to make your brother sad too?“ Toji teased him and earned a growl from Sukuna. “Also you had chips and energy drink for lunch just two weeks ago, don’t you dare talk about calories.“

Sukuna rolled his eyes at him, digging into the waffles.

They ended up sharing it though, since Toji liked white chocolate a lot and Sukuna’s stomach couldn’t endure the level of sugar. Dramatic as hell.

His patience was running out. He was already sick of laying down all day, learning new recipes, even making pies from cherries and strawberries with instructions sent from Uraume.

It has been almost a week and his voice hasn’t returned to him just yet. He could only be grateful for being able to talk now but with a low tone if not a whisper.

Apparently he didn’t have an appetite left to stand up and bake pies, too. And it was a whole Saturday he could have enjoyed outside. Not that he was sick so he had to stay in bed, but he knew he wouldn’t enjoy the smallest thing outside without him talking. No wonder his group would involve him in everything they do, though, maybe that would be enjoyable somehow.

He couldn’t fool anyone. He was tired as f*ck.

Maybe from trying to find something to do that’ll bring him joy, or from thinking too much, stress. Could be anything but whatever is the reason, he was tired.

And nothing could take him out of the bed today. Not even strawberry pie.

Not even Choso, playing his electric guitar since it hit noon, loud enough to reach Sukuna’s bedroom across the hallway. He thought.

But it was getting unbearable to ignore. He gritted his teeth and groaned into his pillow. Maybe he needed to relax first before he barges into his room, quietly screaming at him to shut the f*ck up already.

Then he listened to it. It was the same guitar he played long ago when everything was alive and first and not something reborn from what’s left from the former. Choso liked listening to him play back then, not very much his mother’s taste of music, but definitely Choso’s.

And his, too. They had that in common along with their attachment to Yuuji. Yet, the way they showed their care for Yuuji was different but the way they played was utterly the same. One could hear their different melodies in different depths of forests and think it's the same fairy who tells the story.

It was like Sukuna was listening to himself. A voice he never heard for a long time, it was just under his nose yet he never noticed until now, this very moment, on a random Saturday where he barely was able to talk, walk, play.

He considered letting it be for a moment. But it was something to finally get out of the goddamn bed. He didn’t bother putting on his glasses.

He didn’t knock before barging in, just to add into the mood. Seeing Choso’s expression wide eyed, afraid to have done something wrong.

“Ryomen! Sorry, did I wake you up?“ Choso was fast to leave his guitar aside, muttering quietly as he held eye contact with Sukuna, expression unreadable. “Don’t barge into my room like that…“

Sukuna’s eyes wandered around his room. It was a while since he was inside Choso’s room, it was messier and chaotic than ever. Posters all around, a photo wall of almost everything, probably things Satoru took. His clothes weren’t everywhere but his open gardrobe with a mirror on it made it look like it was messier than it actually is. His eye caught a photo of them, taken with their mother. He didn’t let his eye ponder on it too much, turning his attention back to Choso.

“It’s alright.“ He said quietly as he closed the door, walking in. Choso held onto his guitar like his life depended on it. “Brother?“

“Don’t mind…keep going..“ All he could say until he coughed the other words out. He passed by Choso and sat on the small couch he had beside his bed, leaning back and finding his comfort.

“You’re staying?“ Choso asked, curiosity in his voice and so was surprise.

Sukuna arched his eyebrows in understanding, moving to stand up before Choso held him by the shoulder, stopping him in place. “No no! Stay- I thought you’d like to-“ Choso pressed his lips together and decided not to finish his sentence when Sukuna tilted his head, sitting back.

Choso turned around and picked up his guitar, and now Sukuna realized there were new stickers on it along with the Hello Kitty ones. They were older and looked dirty since they were the first stickers Sukuna bought specially for this guitar. He sighed to himself, why didn’t he peel them off beforehand? At least it didn’t look too bad along with Choso’s own sticker choice. Some were definitely handmade, probably drawn by Toji and Satoru.

“I was practicing on my own song. I had time since we’re taking a break from studio plays. “ Choso informed him. It didn’t sound like he was expostulating on him for scheduling many studio plays and rehearsals. But Sukuna felt it’s burden on his shoulders again, so heavy he couldn’t shrug it off. He wouldn’t, too. It was him standing in front of him. His brother, his own blood, just like him but a year younger. It felt like looking in a mirror to his own reflection of yesterday. Less scared. And he played, uncaged, unlike Sukuna but the same.

He was being bad to younger him.

He was watering him more than he needed, feeding him until his body couldn't accept it anymore. And he didn’t need water, or the food he gave him wasn’t even the one he wanted.

No one has to be in need of the things that Sukuna himself thinks he needs.

He never had to push boundaries that weren’t pushed to him to keep him going once.

He listened to the boy he could become before he hit the bottom. He smiled, too. Because Choso smiled. He always loved the sound of his own hands and soul. It always sounded good. Full of energy despite the rhythm of the song he plays. He didn’t sing, it wasn’t his cup of tea. Sukuna would sing if he could.

Instead he stood up, Choso stopped playing, it probably was just that too. “It’s not entirely finished but I will practice on this part a bit more- Ryomen?“

Choso reached a hand out to hold Sukuna’s arm, probably worrying he couldn’t see where he was going without his glasses. “You’re-“ He flinched with a warm hand fitting on his cheek, his thumb caressing the tattoo through his nose and cheek.

The warmth trailed off along with a whisper and a door shut.

“I’m proud of you.“

He was recovering faster now. He went through a whole Monday by almost whispering every word he says, but he was back at school and work, that was priority.

To his surprise, Mahito didn’t mock him like he thought he would. He must have thought that the saplings he sent to Sukuna over Choso and the small note he wrote for funsies was enough mocking, a death wish also, but he was taking that chance.

Sukuna would’ve ignored any of them if they were to talk about it anyway. He wasn’t practicing for enough time for him to get impatient.

Turns out Choso wasn’t the only one that worked over his own thing. Mahito and Jogo have been using the club studio since last week, for fun recordings like small parodies and TikToks. They had Sukuna to download the ‘useless’ ‘ridiculous’ app with a lot of effort, even finding his nickname as “kingofcurses“. Sukuna only liked that part of it, also getting used to the app easily since he always used Instagram reels to watch ‘funny’ videos.

He easily caught up with the group, even starting the production of the song he wrote in his very much free time, blame it on Toji f*cking Zenin, not letting him breathe without a moment of thinking of him. Even driving him insane with the thought of him leaving one day.

On the branches in the ditches

It’s now silenet and lifeless

And breathing becomes oh so hard for me

And the birds sing no more

The week where Toji was out of his reach, that’s when the possibility of drifting apart corrupted his mind. He oh so cursed at Toji for not looking his way for days, but he himself never stepped any closer to him as well.

Maybe that too, was his fault.

Without you I cannot be

Without you

With you I am alone too

Seconds stand still, without you

They aren’t worth counting without you

He hoped one day, as his legs and arms are around Toji, trapping him by his side, time would stop and they would stay like that forever. Discovering unknown seas and ruins until they get older. Until his roots grow longer and natural white, matching with Toji’s grays, he never will let go.

Like right now. He holds Toji like he belongs to him. His hand finding its perfect fit on the black haired boy’s staggeringly beautiful waist and not letting him step one inch away. And he never wants this warmth to get colder.

Toji never asks questions about this intimacy, not after he realizes he craves it as much as Sukuna does. He used to punch his way out of Sukuna’s warmth but when he started to crawl back at him, he knew he was done for.

And he hated the way he tried to find the same warmth in his pillows, starting to hug one of them after the end of a hang out with Sukuna, where they sat by the sea, on the crags and shared the warmth of their bodies. He took one of Sukuna’s arms on his lap, hugging him and laying his head against his shoulder.

“That one aches a lot, damn, I’m really rusty with a guitar.“

Then Toji decided he could help in a way other than being his after school hangout friend, curing his boredom or being his graphic designer that only worked for two projects until now. He caressed his hands, massaging them and his arms. He earned a chuckle from Sukuna before he hummed in pleasure.

“Your hands are really talented, you know…I wouldn’t be surprised if you were able to play piano- don’t tell me you already know it. You f*cking rich people always know it!“

He pinched his arm and lifted his head with a dangerous chuckle before he kept massaging them, holding his arm tighter as Sukuna tried to pull it back with a hiss of pain. “No I don’t know. You can teach me about guitar, though.“

“Guitar really wouldn’t fit your hand.“

“Hm? Why is that? Don’t tell me you think they’re too subtile! “

Sukuna chuckled loudly, looking at Toji like he said something so unbelievable, deviant.

“Hell no! We know what those hands can do other than art, holding something so gently and looking pretty.“ He waited a second as Toji’s fingers laid against his. “I still have bruises from our last fight. f*ck you.“

“It’s your fault you earn a damn punch every time. Could’ve been worse.“

“Ha! What will you do? Smash my head against your locker? Do you still struggle unlocking it by the way?“

That way, he earned another punch. His intimate massage session was over then. Universe really didn’t care about his wishes that included Toji. And especially Toji.

At least he knew he wouldn’t be losing him yet.

He knew that from the way Toji looked away with a stutter and a blush whenever they locked eyes, the way his skin got warmer and warmer as they cuddled, the way his eyes looked a lighter tone of green when he wiped away his tears.

And he knew that from the way he found Toji waiting for him in front of his class, with a can of Cola and Sprite. Unwavering reality.

“What the hell? I would slaughter that- Shah or whoever he is if I was sent a chest of literal sh*t.“

Sukuna laughed. “Well personally I would too, God knows what the f*ck Shah of Iran was thinking back then.“

Toji took a bite of a cherry he picked from the basket, leaning his elbow on his leg to look at Sukuna. “And? What did the other one do? Declare war or something?“

“Nahh. Actually as much as I don’t think it’s the best way of reciprocating such disrespect, it’s a fine answer- So, Selim commands for a chest to be prepared, filling it with Turkish delight that smells of roses and writes a note that says “One shall offer what they eat.“

Toji cackles at that. His mouth agape. “Okay I didn’t expect that. That’s fine enough.“

Sukuna knew he was going off the schedule by talking about fun history facts, but that side of history was also the reason he liked it. And it looked like Toji also found them hilarious. “I know right. Those times were wild.“

Also, not talking about fun facts and actually trying to focus on serious history that they needed for high scores was hard when his thoughts slipped away whenever he looked at Toji. Once he saw him with glasses and that was enough for him to stutter, asking for a small break and brewing some coffee as an excuse to get himself together.

He really shouldn’t be melting so easily for such a normal sight.

Normal sight for others.

For Sukuna, seeing Toji with any kind of differences was like new content of his favorite series. Even worse than that, he never recalls any moment where he found himself sweating and blushing like an idiot for any kind of content.

Toji must have decided it wasn’t enough reaction if he were to do it on purpose and tied his hair to a ponytail. Sukuna already knew he was tying his hair at classes and when he was painting, doing any kind of art because it bothered his sensory issues.

But knowing didn’t mean he was used to the sight of his naked neck and perfectly shaped ears with small piercings; he probably hid them away from his parents.

He wanted to kiss every skin he could reach. Even if it meant getting punched for a third time this week, by the very same person.

“Let’s return to the work we need to study. That was shockingly much knowledge about history, to be honest.“

Sukuna placed the tray down, not spilling even a bit of coffee this time, trying not to look at Toji for more than two seconds or he’d fall into some situation he wouldn’t be able to pull himself out.

“It’s easy and fun when there is no one in your ear telling you to memorize everything.“ He said, speaking out of experience. It wasn’t like his knowledge came from his school life. He barely listened to what the teachers said, even sleeping at some of them, causing many absent days to pile up. If he had to credit someone for his interest in history, it would be Kenjaku who’s a year older than him, also very good at history.

“Right, that is usually what happens. I’m good at memorizing but I still can’t-“

His words trailed off, Sukuna didn’t listen to any other words, dazing off at the sight of his neck and hair. Such a messy ponytail, he must have hated to tie it. Or just don’t care enough to tie it properly. He wanted to untie the black rope, tying it back evenly, with more effort, just to feel the soft strands between his palms.

“‘kuna? Do we continue or will you keep staring at me like a damn statue?“

“Tie your hair properly, it f*cking bothers me now.“

Toji’s hand went to his hair, frowning. “Huh? The f*ck is bothering you? It’s comfortable this way, I won’t untie it now, it was already a struggle-'' Sukuna moved forward, grabbing by his ponytail. Toji growled, only making it harder by moving a lot. “Sukuna! Let go, are you mad? The insanity finally caught up to you!“

“Just stop moving so damn much! I’m gonna tie it myself.“ Toji sighed, halting his movements in a second.

“Don’t f*cking pull on it. Be gentle, do you know how-“

“Yes yes I know your hair is weak it easily falls off it easily breaks you spend your whole morning trying to wash it, take care of it , dry it properly, make it smell f*cking scrumptious and all. Shut up, I know how to tie a hair like yours.“

Toji pretended to not care that Sukuna knows how he takes care of his hair and the small compliment hidden inside the wave of words said in a breath.

“…Good. Tie it high.“

Sukuna sat behind Toji, his legs against the dark haired boy’s back. He took off the tie so gently, brushing the messy hair with his fingers. A woody, dark smell surrounded the space between them. Must be some kind of hair perfume Toji started to use recently, his usual cologne and perfume didn’t smell so strong. He barely used the cologne Choso gifted him on his 16th birthday, only smelling so sweet and like vanilla on special days and if lucky, he gets to smell it on their meeting days too, when they’re alone.

Sukuna himself smelled like vape. He had one that smelled like strawberry. Tasted like strawberry, too. He never was an addict for nicotine but he wouldn’t lie that he liked the taste of it. Burning his throat and leaving a sweet taste on his tongue. Toji liked it too.

Right now he was almost tasting it, too. With how strong was the smell of it, Sukuna’s breath against his neck. He tied his hair, brushing the extra strands with his fingers and making sure it’s even. Toji was surprised how easy it happened, Sukuna never was gentle with his hands. He never expected him to be gentle enough, at least waiting for him to pull on a single strand by accident, his nails digging into his scalp. But none of them happened.

He sighed, feeling hands wrapping around his waist, a warm breath against his nape and chapped lips trembling as it touched his skin. He shuddered with a small hum. His whole body tensed against Sukuna’s. He tilted his head, either trying to run from him or embrace him, didn’t really matter. Not like he was able to think anyway.

The warmth was gone in a blink of an eye. He whined sillently, but who was he to ask for more?

“Hm…Better.“ Sukuna didn’t sound proud. His voice was low and husky, now away from his skin. Toji looked back over his shoulder to frown.

“Enjoyed yourself?“

Sukuna snickered. “Very much.“

He held his nape, his cold hands feeling like ice against his skin. He sure was blushing to the ears. He looked away as Sukuna sat back beside him, no skin to skin contact yet Toji was still able to feel hands around his waist. A part of him wanted to cuddle as they studied, or pretend to study. Other part of him…

“Focus on the work, f*cker.“

Toji accepted Choso’s offer.

Not because he wanted but more like he probably wouldn’t be able to maintain his inner serial killer to not slaughter his whole family or himself throughout the summer.

He was able to walk out of the house and don’t come back for a whole day, using school as an excuse rather than a place he went for studying. With summer break, he wasn’t able to use it as an excuse.

He thought of taking extra classes the school provided for his year. But that would be wasting his time for such a bullsh*t. Also, his goddamn teachers wouldn’t let him skip classes, letting his parents know about his every move.

That would be the inevitable case, only if he slept at the said house.

House of Curses was an escape out of his own curse. Band members were fast to help him move out, providing him a room which was bigger than his own room back at the house. His stuff fit in very easily and he even had free space left to fill in later. He already planned to buy a shelf to place his stuff. His window was facing the backyard, already filled with plants and trees and flowers, most definitely Sukuna’s work.

His only problem was, he was neighbors with f*cking Mahito.

That only meant he was going to have to listen him and his damn boyfriend live the time of their life, most of the time. The other times, god knows what Mahito does in his free time.

Turns out Mahito was quieter than he thought. One week in and not even Kenjaku’s arrival was a problem. Toji thought it was about soundproof walls but then he was informed that the only room that was soundproof was the one downstairs, the one they used as the studio. He couldn’t be more glad, whatever Mahito was doing, he was doing it quietly.

“Mahito is writing?“ Toji was baffled.

“Yes, why so surprised? He’s been writing for a long time now. Poems, stories…He’s now working on a novel he wanted to write.“ Kenjaku sipped his coffee. Toji wouldn’t call that a coffee, though. More of a black paint. Like the oil paint he never uses.

So Mahito wasn’t weird as he thought. Maybe weirder. It changed between bad kind of weird and good kind of weird a lot. Maybe he won’t be able to understand what was going on his mind, but he was going to read whatever he wrote.

He didn’t answer Kenjaku but blinked a couple times before turning around, almost crashing onto Uraume, who has a bowl filled with some kind of liquidish, slimish thing.

“The hell is that?“

Uraume sighed, frowning at Toji for running onto them. “Dye. Hair dye. We’re going to dye Sukuna’s hair.“

Dye Sukuna’s hair.

He almost forgot the whites in the boy’s hair were his natural color and not a soft pink blended with those whites. Sukuna’s hair looked like cotton candy from anywhere you look. Even after showers, with his har dripping wet, it looked like melted cotton candy.

Sukuna liked to slick his hair back after showers and let it dry naturally, even on the coldest day of winter. Just when Choso caught and scolded him, he dried it thoroughly and he hated it when his hair was too fluffy-puffy to brush or style.

“I want to help with it.“

Uraume found the brush they have been trying to find in a drawer in the kitchen. They turned to leave and looked at Toji. “I thought you were going to work on a commission?“ If he didn’t know Uraume better, he would’ve thought they were being serious with their question. With their usual stern expression and cold tone, anyone would.

But Toji was able to see a smirk and a mock between their words.

They were teasing him, like he hadn’t had enough from Sukuna’s.

“I don’t have anything urgent! Where the heck is Sukuna anyway?“ Toji shrugged it off so quickly with a roll of his eyes.

Uraume smiled, just like Toji thought. He followed them to Sukuna’s room, which now also had black curtains blocking the whole sunlight, which was now so natural for everyone, and led lights that illuminated red most of the time. Sometimes when Yuuji visits him over and sleeps, he either turns it off or lets Yuuji choose what color he wants.

Yuuji usually picks blue, asking if Megumi can come over to hang out under the blue light. Apparently, Megumi’s favorite color isn’t blue or anything close to that. He never corrects Yuuji, letting them enjoy their half blind time under the dark, blue led lights.

Right now the led lights had to go. Uraume unplugged it as they entered Sukuna’s room, opening the lamb instead. He half expected Sukuna to snarl at them but he was too busy leaning back against his gaming chair, spinning halfway around as he scrolled through TikTok on his phone.

“Now you gotta get off that chair, sit on the ground or I’ll bring-“ Sukuna stood up so fast, halting for a moment, not expecting to see Toji looking around in his room. He never was in Sukuna’s room before, though he has been in the one that was back at his own house, several times, either to hang out, sleep or play games. This one had less things in it but still was messy. Especially the desk he placed his whole gaming setup.

“I won’t sit on that kitchen chair! I hate having any kind of business with that sh*t. Hurts my ass like hell.“

“Then take your pillow and sit on it.“ And Sukuna just did that. This time murmuring something about his pillow touching the ground and he now has to wash the covers. Uraume absolutely ignored his behavior and sat on Sukuna’s bed, placing a towel first and then the bowl beside themselves.

“Are you just going to watch, Toji? “ Sukuna asked, without looking at him directly, his back turned away from Toji. He could hear the expectations in his voice.

Of course he was there to amuse him.

“Yeah, just gonna watch from here. Just to do something since I got nothing else to do.“

He giggled before Sukuna sighed in frustration. He walked ahead and sat on the ground in front of Sukuna, cross legged. Sukuna tilted his head at him and smiled before Uraume harshly steadied his head for him to look ahead.

“Don’t move.“ Toji warned him before Uraume did and giggled. Sukuna made a face, mocking him.

“If you don’t want your whole neck and ears to be pink by the end of this, don’t move.“

“Alright alright. “

First minutes passed easily. Toji didn’t know Sukuna had that much hair to dye, but apparently dying hair wasn’t as easy as he thought.

Uraume held both sides of Sukuna’s head, staining his cheeks a bit with hair dye, steadying him and sighing with frustration. Toji could feel they were almost at the edge of leaving everything and slamming the door shut behind them. He tried to keep it down but it was impossible to not tease Sukuna this way.

He picked the leftover hair dye staining Sukuna’s cheek and smeared it over his face. Sukuna looked away and tried to run from Toji’s hands by kicking him and throwing his head back at Uraume’s lap.

This wasn’t the first time Toji messed with Sukuna this way but it was definitely the last time Uraume tolerated them.

“You know what Toji? Here. “ Uraume stood up, pushing Sukuna’s head forward to walk away with care, not to smudge the dye on their pants anywhere else on their clothes. “Do it yourself.“

Sukuna left the tissues he tried to wrench from Toji, who watched with wide eyes and his smile frozen on his face. “Uraume! Wait don’t leave me with this sh*t-“

Before Sukuna could stand up, Toji pulled him back to the ground and Uraume slammed the door on their way out.

“You heard them. You’re in my hands now.“

Sukuna groaned. “Hell no! Do you even know how to dye hair? I will kick you out to the streets if you mess this up!!“

Toji sat behind Sukuna, not bothering to pick any gloves and digging right into his hair with the brush. There was just little dye left and most of his hair was already dyed. He looked closer to Sukuna’s now pink roots. They were still a bit white because of the dye, but it has started to go pink enough. Toji never saw Sukuna’s hair so pink before, it was already growing white when they met, now almost one year and a half back.

“I obviously don’t know what I’m doing, but could you dye it yourself huh?“

Sukuna turned his head to look at Toji, frowning. “Of cours-“

“You can’t do sh*t without Uraume!“ Toji grumbled, pulling on Sukuna’s hair for him to stay still. Unlike Uraume, he was short tempered and he never was holding back to be harsh against Sukuna.

“I can.“

“I’ll leave this to you then, the dye smells horrible- your hair won’t smell like this after this , right?“

“It will smell a bit but eventually-“

“Don’t come close to me. “

“Stay.“ Sukuna grabbed Toji’s leg, leaning his head just a bit back, almost staining over Toji’s pants as well. Toji flinched a bit but all he could feel was Sukuna’s tight grip around his ankle.

He got away by planting a small amount of dye on Sukuna’s vulnerable nose. Earning another growl and the grip on him was gone. He gave him a napkin for him to clean his face, with a chuckle.

Instead, Sukuna stood up and dipped his finger into the bowl.

“Sukuna! Don’t you dare-“ Without protest, Sukuna walked , towering over him with a smirk, trapping Toji between himself and the bed. “..’kuna!-“

Toji cried out with a chuckle, faking a call for help as Sukuna smeared the dye over his arms and wrists, trying to hold him in place. Position was uncomfortable, Toji tried harder to prevent his head from hitting the wall right behind him. Only when Sukuna realized, he was held by both sides of his waist, pulled forward to meet Sukuna’s thighs. His head fell back on the bed for a moment before he supported himself with his elbows.

Cold hands, two fingers colder than the others because they were covered in hair dye, still strangled him by the waist. If he didn’t notice his breath getting faster, that was only because he wasn’t breathing at all. He gasped silently, taking in a long, shaky breath after.

Sukuna still towered over him, examining like he was something out of this world. As Toji got a grip of the situation and realized Sukuna’s fingers had left a lot of dye on his skin, both on his waist and face, he snarled at him, kicking him by the pit of his stomach. Sukuna yelped and backed away, holding onto his stomach.

“The f*ck- Toji!“

Toji sat up, ignoring Sukuna’s cries and giggles. He wiped the dye off his face, his breathing ragged, could be either because of his conflict with Sukuna, or because of Sukuna himself.

“That hurt idiot…“ Sukuna now sat on the ground again, looking up at Toji like he didn’t just get his heart between his palms and pumped it however he liked it, fast and rough, loud and erratic. Toji’s throat tightened, his hands confused where to get a hold of.

“We should dye the rest of your hair. You’ll either look like that one anime character or your hair will fall off. “

When Sukuna got in the shower, he walked back to his room. His hand, stained with pink dye even after washing it thoroughly, automatically found its place on his own waist, where the rough hands held him tightly back then, almost half an hour ago. He didn’t care if it hurt, he surely got bruises worse than this before, from the very same person, too. None of them got his heart skipping beats, making him feel any warmth growing on his abdomen.

He looked at himself in the standing mirror sitting at the end of the hallway. It had small printed photos hung on the corners, he was in one of them, standing at the corner beside Jogo. Sukuna was in the center of it, posing like he wouldn’t care if it was the end of the world happening around him.

Toji’s eyes met with his own design of the band’s name. “CURSED“ written- painted with such care and studiously. It wasn’t the final product yet the band seemed to like this one esquisse especially.

He sighed, locking eyes with his reflection on the neatly cleaned mirror. He pulled his shirt up, twisting his waist and examining the finger prints. He winced, Sukuna probably never noticed how strong his grip was. The ends of the small bruises of fingers were especially pink because of the dye. Toji never thought the dye would leave so much stain. He held his breath as he felt heat rising up to his cheeks, his face the same color as the bruises. He wanted Sukuna to-

He let go of his shirt and cursed under his breath.

“What are you cursing at?“

He flinched more than he’d like to admit. He turned around, of course he wouldn’t notice Mahito approaching. There was something creepy about this guy, getting Toji doubt himself. He usually felt when people approached him, even if they were a room away. Something he mastered at, growing up with a family such as his own.

“Nothing. Where the hell did you come from?“

Mahito chuckled, clapping his hands, all bracelets clashing against each other. “We baked cookies with Kenny! Can’t you smell? “ He sniffed the air and sighed in satisfiction. “Chocolate cookies. I just learnt how to do some- why do you smell like hair dye?“

Toji stepped ahead, grabbing his door knob. “We…dyed Sukuna’s hair.“

“Ohoho~ You helped him huh, you got pinks over there.“ Mahito gestured at his own face. Toji sighed.

“Yes, we fought. “ Mahito gaped, making a fake gasp sound and dramatically covering his mouth.

“Fought?! Isn’t that the usual? We’re almost used to it.“ Mahito sighed, giggling. “Young love!“

Toji felt his ears burn, this time the line between anger and embarrassment blurry.

“What?“

Mahito turned away to open his own door, turning the knob. “Don’t worry! It happens all the time!“

“What the hell did you mean by- Mahito!“ To his favor, Mahito actually turned back, leaning against his door sill. His expression was incomprehensible but unlike Sukuna, this one was impossible to solve. The baffled expression could be either fake or not.

“I mean…You guys definitely don’t hate each other do you? Maybe you guys should try spending more time alone to solve these things!“ Mahito advised.

Toji looked away. Maybe letting go of this sh*t and sleeping on the cold floor of his room was a better choice than this. Everything could be better than talking about his non-existent relationship, and with Mahito of all people.

“We don’t-“ He started but didn’t finish, sighing. “What do you…advise?“

If the previous expression of Mahito was fake, this one definitely was real. “You- Oh you!“ He chuckled loudly. And oh Toji knew he was done for.

Next week, everyone was gone.

A natural urge comes along with such a long break and nice weather, everyone has found a place to leave their usual spot, breathing some fresh air somewhere out of between the school garden and their own backyard. Gojo was fast to find a five star place to stay and let Megumi spend the time of his life, also inviting Choso and Yuuji to join them. Yuuji had left Gojo ashamed by surpassing his speed by accepting the offer before the question was asked. Toji knew this because Sukuna told him about this, having had fun as he witnessed all.

Toji wasn’t a fan of the sun himself, summer always has been a time he spent like going through weekends.

It happened fast and boring, like casual weekends on a spring day, too. Months ago, even before moving out to the House of Curses, he wouldn’t bother planning on doing something through the summer break. And he didn’t, too. Before last week.

“Let’s bake some cookies.“ He didn’t see circumlocutions necessary, straight up asked, maybe a bit too sudden for both their liking. The pot Sukuna held under the faucet started to flow out, spilling onto the counter before the boy turned the tap off, looking absolutely puzzled.

“Cookies?“ Toji sighed, watching Sukuna rip a paper towel and wipe the spilled water off the counter.

“Yes. Cookies, dumbass. You mix sugar, eggs and flour-“

“Okay I definitely know what the f*ck cookies mean and what they’re made of! “ He grabbed the water-filled pot, walking outside. “Just- where did that come from? Are you that bored?“

Toji followed him outside, he watched Sukuna do this exact routine many times to know where exactly he was about to start. He walked towards the Lavenders, waiting for Sukuna to grab his gloves and join him. “Yes. I’m that bored.“ He lied to both.

Maybe he shouldn’t have asked something so unusual for them to start with. Mahito had convinced him that this was a good start off developing a relationship ‘in progress’. After doing research and reading the answers to the exact questions asked online, he decided baking cookies actually might be the best start for them, instead of offering him dinner at a fancy restaurant or holding his hand as they stargaze.

They did those both indirectly through their relation-friend-ship or whatever they were, anyway. Even if a ramen shop across their school wasn’t exactly an account of a fancy restaurant, it still was dinner for them they both enjoyed.

Or if the stars they were able to see were only the ones that were barely visible in a place God has long forgotten, they still had felt each other's warmth against the other.

Those have to be counted as small dates, even though they were barely alone most of the time.

These two weeks were his chance alone with Ryomen Sukuna Itadori.

“Bored enough to bake cookies, with me.“ Sukuna told a fact rather than asking a question. “Woah. My eyes are teary and that is definitely not from pollens-“

Toji hummed in displeasure. “Yeah sure. So will you accept…my offer..or should I just burn down your whole kitchen?“

Sukuna didn’t raise his head up from the ground, watering the flowers and cleaning the roots. “That wasn’t an offer but a threat now, isn’t that right?“

Toji turned over his heels to leave, murmuring. He should’ve given more chances for getting rejected and even teased for it. Just before he stepped in, Sukuna raised his voice from afar. “Can you bring me that small shovel since you’re there? Thank you.“

Toji gaped. Grabbing the shovel with a scowl and taking a big step towards Sukuna who's rising up to his feet as Toji raised the shovel to bring it down his head, before he was stopped by a gloved hand, reminding Toji how strong Sukuna actually was.

“Appreciate it, really.“ Sukuna snatched the shovel from his hands, plunging it in the soil beneath him. “Why so angry? Just help me a bit over here.“ He smirked, pointing at the watering pot and making his way to the next flowers that were still in progress of growing. Toji eyed Sukuna as he left his side and then the shovel next to him.

Of course that bastard asked for something he never needed just to mock Toji. He clenched his jaw, if he opened his mouth now, neighbors would definitely think there was something old-married-couple going on. Toji trembled with the thought, ignoring the way his heart was trembling with him.

He grabbed the pot and followed untold instructions, watering the flowers in the order Sukuna followed every day. He cursed under his breath when dirt got to his pajamas, Sukuna laughed at him for pretending not to hear him and totally ignoring his warnings. He usually ended up in the worst situations Sukuna warned him about. He tolerated everything just to piss Sukuna off.

Flowers were beautiful, not exactly grown since Sukuna planted them just two months ago. Toji could imagine how they would look when they’re fully grown. He has been in Sukuna’s garden back at his house enough to see how big they could get and how gorgeous they look. He didn’t like the smell of them, most of them. But he could get used to this by time.

He found himself to notice patterns on flower’s petals. He observed many things, flowers were just a small part of the things he observed to paint, draw, sketch. But they were regular flowers that could be seen in every garden, between the rocks of a sidewalk or in some balconies. The most unique flower he had sketched was a Lycoris radiata, known as spider lily. And he only saw one on the internet, in an anime he watched in his free time.

Now when he thinks of it as he looks at these colorful, radiant flowers, Lycoris radiata resembles Sukuna a lot. He lifted his head to peek at Sukuna. The red eyes behind the glasses were as radiant as a spider lily. A red that is no match to another tone. Red as blood, red as flames, red as….Lycoris radiata.

How could he not think of it before?

“You look enlightened. Something on your mind?“ Sukuna stood up, checking one last time if the petunias are growing up healthily.

“It’s all your fault. “ Toji said as Sukuna approached him, taking the pot from the ground where Toji left it, almost empty.

“What? Didn’t you have fun?“

He was almost at his limit. Maybe he should’ve reminded Mahito that Sukuna was a stubborn bastard that never got the clue of what he’s intending to do. Maybe they could’ve come up with a better plan that didn’t require Toji to ask the question.

“Sukuna. You f*cking know what I want! I want-“ he stopped and gestured himself like explaining some easy sh*t to the most difficult person in the world, which was quite the case here. “…cookies! I want to bake cookies!“

Sukuna just smirked wider, if possible. He took off his gloves and threw them away to the small desk in front of the window. “I know.“

Whatever was coming, Toji was ready for it, he blinked slowly, lifting his head up a bit to maintain eye contact with Sukuna. He looked at him with low eyelids, the bastard was teasing him with his eyes when he could’ve used his words instead. On another day, Toji would’ve begged him to shut up but now he could punch him just to spill the answers out of him.

“I just wanted to see how badly you want those cookies.“

“I f*cking hate you.“

They bake the cookies. Especially following the instructions of a recipe Mahito gave him, saying that this recipe was the one that got every person with the smallest spark in their heart to find their true love, bla bla bla.

Toji didn’t believe him, of course. He knew Mahito himself didn’t believe such a thing, too. The guy might be weird but this was just an act of stupidity, hiding his true colors behind those.

Toji didn’t want to know the true colors, too. So he went with this spell.

Uraume would lock them in a closet and leave for a day or two if they saw the condition of the kitchen at the end of their baking session. None of them were intending to clean up after their mess, which was both their fault but none of them would take the blame.

It all started with the drop of the flour cup.

“You’re really are f*cking blind are you not?!“

Being blind wasn’t exactly Sukuna’s fault but running into the fire with gasoline was Toji’s fault indeed. He swore on his life that he will be haunting this house after his death and he won’t be looking like a ghost with all the flour thrown on him but be a real one.

“Sukuna!“

It wasn’t possible to get mad at him for longer than a minute, such a lucky bastard.

“You deserved that, f*cker! Toji- don’t come at me like that!“

They would have to mop all around the house after all the fun and pray to God that Uraume wouldn’t notice any leftover flour and the missing amount inside the flour cup.

“I just washed my hair, douchebag!“

“You look good in white.“

“Oh yeah?“

If they would be able to explain why everywhere was covered in flour, they wouldn’t be able to explain the bruises on both their skin, either around the sharp bite marks or fingerprints.

“Don’t bite the same place twice! Hurts more than you think.“ Toji warned him. Sukuna spat out the flour, gagging to the taste.

“I didn’t think it hurt at all.“ Toji kicked him off the couch just to lose his own balance and fall back just as he stood up. He bit Sukuna’s arm before he was able to tower over him again.

“f*ck! Holy sh*t- Do you have fangs too or something?“

“All jaw strength.“

He examined the bite mark Toji left on his arm, hissing slightly. “This will leave bruises, you don’t do anything but ruin my looks!“

Toji let out a simple and loud “Hah! As if you didn’t do the same days ago!“ Then he murmured something along the lines “Fu’king finger prints are still there.“

Sukuna pinched the skin around his stomach, Toji writhed in pain to kick Sukuna off. “What are you talking about? When did I leave any bruises?“ He held Toji in his place as the boy sat up. “Well other than the ones caused by our fights. We didn’t fight for….weeks now!!“ The boy under him sighed and rolled his eyes.

Toji lifted his shirt up, Sukuna gaped for a moment, then watched the body he knew like his own. “These. Idiot. From the day we attempted to dye your hair. “

There were fingerprints, they belonged to Sukuna without a doubt by how wide they were and how bad it was bruised. The hair dye was half washed off, still visibly dust pink on his waist. He was consternated, slightly pleased by how strong he was, unaware of this fact until seeing the results. But a major part of him ached with an unexpected concern.

He caressed over the bruises, he heard Toji’s breath hitch as Sukuna’s hands met with the prints on his skin.

“You didn’t tell me about this.“ Toji looked away awkwardly.

“I don’t see why? They don’t hurt. “ His voice was low but stern. Sukuna knitted his eyebrows. He wrapped his arms around Toji’s waist, gentle, unnecessarily gentle that Toji was confused about whether he liked the way Sukuna hurt him or caressed him.

“But it did hurt, didn't it? The hell, Toji? You could have at least shown someone- Did you use any cream? Choso had those medicines-“

He was driving him mad. He was afraid that if Sukuna listened any closer, he could hear his heart screaming for him. For more. Yet he wrapped his arms around him, excusing the way he falls back on the couch if he doesn’t support himself by holding someone. It also caused Sukuna to shut up.

“You f*cking worry so much for such dumb reasons. You didn’t ask when you punched my teeth out.“ He lifted his head and red eyes welcomed him. Lycoris Radiata.

“You broke my nose. It was mutual and I definitely intended to do that. This- I didn’t mean to- I wasn’t aware that I was going too-“

He exhaled a long breath, his eyelids shut with anger. Only for himself, this time. Maybe a bit for Toji, for not letting him know anything before he finds out himself.

“…’kuna.“ He cracked his eyelids open, looking into Toji’s deeper ones with hooded eyes.

Toji wanted to say how he likes it when they bicker or fight, how he finds a kind of pleasure, a kind of peace out of their chaotic nature and talk about the way he prays every time that it would leave a mark, for him to see in his reflection on the mirror when he searches for something meaningful. Something peaceful about the scars Sukuna left on his skin.

It hurts and he likes the way it hurts. He felt a variety of guilt for the way he felt about this. But it was the truth and he was enjoying it. Even if one day it passes and only pain is left off the peace.

“It’s alright, I’m serious. Stop worrying about me, it feels weird.“

Sukuna smirked slightly, his palms heavy against his waist, contrast to the bruises.

“Let me feel sorrow in peace!“ Toji giggled as Sukuna retreated his hands, tickling him slightly. He let go of Sukuna’s shoulders as the boy moved lower against his body.

“You don’t feel sorrow, f*cker. You will do it again, on purpose this time and you’ll love it.“ Toji supported himself by the elbows, watching over the pink haired boy as the strands of hair tickled his bare chest. His hands straddling his hips. His eyes widened slightly, mouth agape. “…You’re a freak, after all.“ He said, breathless.

Sukuna looked up, his lips warm and chapped against Toji’s skin, kissing around the bruises. And his breath is like fire when he breathes. His hands never leave their place. “I will definitely do.“

Toji pressed his lips together, his body hurt as if it was on fire. Whatever the boy was plotting, it was madness. This should be insanity by the way it burns. He exchanged body heat with Sukuna many times that he was used to being held by the guy. But kisses were something he just daydreamed about. Kisses on the forehead, hands, over their scars, he dreamt of that one the most, kisses on the lips.

He could just imagine how it would feel, many times, how Sukuna’s chapped, bitten lips would sting his own. In classes where he was distracted by thoughts to think of many scenarios. As he walks home with Sukuna by his side, his eyes never leave his lips as the albino boy talks.

None of the feelings he got from those thoughts would match to the real one just now. So light to barely count as a kiss. Yet alone it was placed nowhere near to what he thought.

It felt heavenly.

“I get kicked in return anyway!“ Sukuna sits up, ignoring the way Toji looks at him for his own sake. Thanks to the God’s, Toji only fixes his shirt, flour rising to the air as it was dusty.

“I’m still covered in flour, go get me something and help me clean up before you get kicked for nothing now.“

Sukuna compiled.

“Cookies are burning.“ Toji flinched when Sukuna poked his nose with the napkin.

“It was a nice chance to use a pickup line like “No it’s my heart burning for you.“

“…Cookies are f*cking burning.“

They never ate the cookies. Sukuna bet on that he could eat them all even though they were burned to the atoms.

“Are you going to eat ashes? “

“Not something I didn’t do at least once?“

Toji rolled his eyes. “Of course you did.“

It was hitting midnight when they were done cleaning, most of it. At least the important parts were all clean, they were safe from Uraume’s wroath.

Sukuna sighed as he leaned back on the wide couch, where Toji was fighting for his life a couple hours ago. He brushed the flour stains off the couch, pouting at himself.

Toji had been in the shower for a good thirty minutes, probably struggling to clean up the flour in his ears. Sukuna had tried his very much best to clean everywhere he could before Toji hopped in to shower.

He grabbed Choso’s guitar from his room. He had asked Choso to leave it for him to play when he’s bored and…For Toji.

He didn’t like to admit it but his recent writing and singing has been changed to be more quiet. He knew the exact reason but he lied both to himself and the members that it was because of his recovering, that he needed a bit more time to use his voice like before. So he decided he’d be singing quieter for a while before starting to work on another song.

Toji hated loud songs.

He always knew this. Long before Toji told him about it. From the way he clenches his jaw and his eyelids flutter when Sukuna screams. He can count a lot of parts that he held back because Toji was listening, watching. He also knew if Toji was too annoyed, he’d walk out or simply use headphones. But he was determined to listen every chance he got.

He tried to be cool with it. He never needed to satisfy someone’s needs. He only did whatever pleased him, he was proud with the results no matter what. Until Toji.

The boy had been the inspiration for most of his lyrics yet he wasn’t able to listen to any word Sukuna screamed out for him, because of how they were told.

Sukuna knew Toji read the lyrics, he wrote many of them beside Toji. Even if he didn’t know who they were told to, he wasn’t aware of the words. He just couldn’t listen to them with the pleasure Sukuna wanted him to have. His screams were made to make Toji’s heart flutter, not his eyes flutter shut.

He played with the chords, arranging them how he needed them to be. He had the lyrics memorized. Even if he forgot about their existence, they’d come out just as natural with the way Sukuna feels them.

“I have to buy my own shampoo, yours makes my hair dry more than it should be!“

Toji came in, drying his hair with a towel. His hair was longer, after months of not cutting it even a bit. His bangs also grew longer, crowding over Toji’s eyes and blocking his sight. Sukuna liked to watch him struggle with the front strands, always tying them back and swearing he’ll be cutting it all of that night. He never did.

Sukuna pulled a face at him. “Don’t waste mine then. Go shopping tomorrow- buy some flour too.“

“It was your fault we ran out of flour.“ Toji sat on the couch across Sukuna. Exhaling a long breath. “Was a nice bath, if you didn’t make the first ten minutes harder!“

Sukuna just smirked. Not chuckling, huh? Toji recognized the signs. He leaned his head back. Sukuna was hard to talk to when he was tired, something like out of battery. He got scolded and even punched for talking many times, it was better to be quiet in these times.

It was so easy to be anything with Sukuna, anyway.

“Gonna play?“ Toji murmured. Sukuna hummed quietly and his voice trailed off to the sound of his guitar. Toji tilted his head, watching confident hands move. They were quiet, too. Moving slowly like one hit could break the strings.

“I am the servant of your ears

I am born for the music

When you feel down

I’ll play for you.“

Toji hummed along with the words. He heard this melody more than enough to memorize every note, every sound and hum.

Sukuna murmured the words out for him. Barely recognizable. His voice is as tired as he is. Or he simply doesn’t want to disturb something in the air between them. As it would scare the boy off, provoking him to run away forever and never come back.

“If you can’t sleep

Treat yourself to a song

And the sky breaks

My song falls softly to your arms

Down from the sky light.“

Then Sukuna stopped. Toji was left off from the melody as his voice trailed off to the silence. He tilted his head against the couch to look at Sukuna.

“Why stop?“ He murmured, sitting up. Sukuna smiled at him, leaning back with the guitar. “You should sing.“

Toji chuckled. “What? “

“Your voice is soothing.“

Toji wanted to laugh at him but he was as tired as Sukuna. “You’re not serious. You didn’t hear anything.“

Sukuna played with the strings, barely continuing the song. “Maybe not everything, but I definitely heard you singing the lyrics.“

Toji rolled his eyes. “I was just mumbling it. I’m not interested in singing.“

He wasn’t a music guy, never was. Even before this. Everyone knew that, Sukuna mocked him a lot about it the first time they met. He mocked him for a lot of things, actually. Especially for the way Toji’s ears were sensitive and that was the actual reason besides the fact Toji hated loud music in general.

Somehow, Sukuna’s songs were softer than he thought. If he wouldn’t listen to his songs on repeat, he would definitely add them to his playlist, to at least listen when it starts. And he was bored enough to join rehearsals of the band, for the first three months, of course. He doesn’t know when he randomly started to go by his own free will, with want.

For the same reason, he wasn’t interested in singing, too. He’d mumble, sometimes sing along with some random song’s lyrics playing at some cafe. Nothing else, his family was too sensitive for his liking for him to sing in showers, too.

“Too bad, I’d like you to be on my back vocals for this one.“ He looked at Toji’s face for fun. To see that baffled, silly expression. He loved to be able to get Toji to react in some ways. Catching him off guard was an easy task for him. And he achieved what he wanted every time.

“What?!“ His reaction echoed around the living room, now even emptier since no one was at home except them.

“Why so surprised? Have a little faith in yourself.“ Sukuna teased, as if apprehension didn’t make his heart beat rougher. Toji blinked at him a couple times.

“It’s not that I don’t have faith in myself! I thought- you and Uraume dealed with that part. I don’t want to replace their place.“ Search for a back vocal had been a real problem for them months ago. They agreed on Uraume to be back vocal when needed. They even recorded many parts with them.

“Uraume is fine with it, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.“

“I don’t believe you. You always make decisions out of nowhere by yourself!“ Sukuna simply looked up at him. “We can discuss it with Uraume later, they’ll accept it anyway but- whatever makes your stubborn ass happy I guess.“

“Ha. Sure.“

“Does that mean you accept?“

It was always Sukuna who offered this kind of big events. He wonders how it all will end up like.

“I’ll consider.“

The night passed quietly, Toji woke up at the same place he slept, couch. It was comfier than any bed he slept on. Maybe a bit more comfier than Sukuna’s, even. Sukuna’s bed was a bit too hard to sleep on, but still comfy in its own way.

Last thing he remembers is Sukuna’s song playing beside him. It started to get late when Toji’s body gave in and he fell asleep, a blanket and pillow thrown over him minutes later. He cursed at Sukuna for being too lazy to at least carry him to his bedroom. But he probably wouldn’t carry Sukuna, either.

So he wasn’t mad at all when he woke up alone in the living room, Sukuna nowhere to be seen. Probably went out to meet up with Mahito or Jogo. It was their photoshoot day, so they decided to meet beforehand, arranging the place and the clothing.

He sat up, his hair falling in front of his eyes, a part of him wanted to chop it off right there. But he inhaled sharply, stretching and standing up in the bathroom. He could imagine how horrible he looked before seeing his reflection. He had to roll his eyes at his own image after he saw himself. There, standing the result of sleeping with wet hair.

He washed his face and even considered washing his hair too, since he couldn’t style it in any way right now. But tying it up felt easier and comfier, so he did that. He should add buying a hair straightener on his to do list. He’d be texting Sukuna to buy one if he didn’t know he was busy.

In other words, he was alone all day. Probably will be until late hours, too.

He forgot to calculate this fact yesterday. Now he was alone with nothing to do in mind as much as no will to do anything. He could sleep all day and that would be comfortable, a fast way to pass a whole day.

Uraume had scheduled the perfect day for photoshoots, it was a bit windy but clear outside. He could imagine what kind of results he was about to face when the photos were out and he was never so distraught before. He was the one who will be creating a whole new design for the album cover, anyway. And it had to be somehow unique, something flawless for a first album’s cover. It was more of his own goal rather than Sukuna’s request.

He recalled the notes Sukuna mentioned.

If Toji was sure of one thing about Sukuna Ryomen Itadori, it was that this man was a monster. He did want to be a monster, called one, look like one.

He had asked to design his persona, along with the other’s. Toji gave them a simple template and told them to draw, even if it's a shaky stick man, whatever they want their personas to look like. Mahito and Kenjaku’s were quite simple. They looked almost exactly the same except for some features. Mahito was a bit confused whether he wanted his persona to be a girl or a boy. They decided on a girl, if he didn’t change his mind later on.

The first ones to design something entirely different from reality was Jogo. He drew a circle with only one eye and something on his head reminded Toji of a volcano. He looked quite proud of the idea, so it was all left for Toji to design the whole persona for him. After Jogo’s, Hanami’s design was quite monstrous, too. Maybe a bit scarier than Jogo’s but Toji started to like drawing monsters, curse like creatures.

Therefore, designing Sukuna was not a struggle but a pleasure.

He especially asked for it to be big in size and with extra limbs. Two extra arms and four eyes were fun to think about but hard to comply. He had to think with an extra part of his brain to comprehend the anatomy of this specific creature. He played around with many parts to find the best “monster like“ “cool“ and “hot“ version of Sukuna. And just like Mahito and Kenjaku, Sukuna didn’t want too many changes with his face and aura.

What Toji was designing at the moment was a bigger, scarier and sexier version of Sukuna. He wasn’t exactly sure why he liked it that much but this could be the best character design he ever made. And he had so much potential to be drawn, animated, used in introductions and album covers. He already had many ideas about the cover.

Spider lilies were rotting at the back of his brain since the day he noticed the resemblance of them. He was going to use it in any chance he got and Sukuna’s persona was just the right one to use it on.

He created a monster version of Sukuna and he was in love with it as much as the real one.

He decided to sketch all the thoughts in his sketchbook. There were ones he just messily drew at the corners of his textbooks. He found himself grabbing a pen and just drawing wherever he finds even when he reads a book. Because everywhere he goes, whatever he does or sees, that f*cking bastard is in everything.

This wasn’t about designing a cover or a f*cking introducion art.

He doesn’t know when it started, at all. He looked back at his drawings from months ago and he was there. Not even a portrait or an eye, not a whole part of his body either. It was a flower, a heart, a bird he saw outside his window, the stars he wanted to see with his bare eyes for the longest time, it was a pirate ship and a crew he very much dreamt of having, such a life with danger and freedom. He was in them. Every dot and a line danced around and round, all to connect back to one specific person.

What's even worse is, like it's not enough for the boy to be in every damn detail of his life, he had started to draw him from his very good memory. Next stage was for him to paint him whole. He was so, so afraid to paint him wrong. What if he can’t make it look like him?

What if it becomes someone else and Toji has to lose his mind over it? What if he misses a spot, that he holds so dearly, that he would sail across the seven seas just to see it clearly, inches close? What if he ruins the only piece of art within him? How could he forgive himself again, how could he paint ever again?

He wouldn’t. He can’t. He’s not sure if he can draw someone’s face so detailed and special, ever again.

Whatever Sukuna was doing to him, he hated it with every part of his body.

It took two days and a half for the photos to be sent to his mailbox.

There were at least a hundred photos but thankfully Uraume took the job from him and chose the right photos for him to work on.

Since there were still many photos left unedited, they decided to keep them for other socials and further announcements.

Toji started with the group photo. He already knew what the group wanted to have, so it started off easy. He really wasn’t ready for Sukuna, at all. He needed a bit of distraction, having to spend a whole week alone with the boy wasn’t as easy as he hoped.

Especially after the photoshoot day, Sukuna came home quite late. He had messaged him to let him know and also ask for him to join when they sat at a cafe and enjoyed their sweet time hanging out. Mahito asked them to go shopping but that was postponed to another day. Apparently Mahito wasn’t tired even a bit even after returning back home. Toji felt a bit bad for Kenjaku before he remembered he was staying with a worse version of him.

Because Sukuna was no different from any other day, maybe even a bit more energetic than usual. He half expected him to be tired enough to sleep right away,and half expected him to be grumpy, at least.

Instead, Sukuna made him sit and listen to him yap about the whole day, sometimes getting mad at small things he mentions. Toji wanted to drink something and even eat but it was impossible to escape from Sukuna’s embracing cuddles. Not that he complained about it, he just slapped him for pinching his arm when he grabbed him with his uncut, long as f*ck nails.

Then the designing process was peaceful. Not that he was scared Sukuna would be annoying the sh*t out of him. He didn’t have to worry about it because it somehow happened anyway; if not while he was working, then he would annoy him about it later. Actually it went well enough for a while, Sukuna coming into his room without a knock and propping himself on his bed, watching either his face or the screen, sometimes the sound of Instagram reels or TikTok videos could be heard. Sukuna showed him the specific videos he laughed really good at. His sense of humor was questionable but the weirdness of it was hilarious for Toji.

The reels feature was new. He couldn’t help but notice the new features and updates of the app he no longer had on his phone. He knew Sukuna had an Instagram for the longest time now, he was there when he installed it again and found his damn password. He never considered reinstalling on his own phone, but now seeing how the group uses it so actively, he was kind of drawn into it.

Also the idea of promoting his Twitter and Patreon on Instagram sounded pretty good , too. He could draw so many people’s attention by promoting his work, a way to earn his money not so easily.

He shook off the thoughts pretty fastly. He could think about it later and he didn’t even remember his password to his old account. Toji already heard Sukuna mocking him about that.

He took a deep breath and the air smelled intensely like strawberries. He turned his head to look at Sukuna, still propped on his bed like its his own, inhaling his vape and minding his business.

“Are you smoking in my room?“ Sukuna inhaled another, puffing the smoke in the shape of a circle. “Show off…“

“This isn't a cigarette. It’s vape and it’s better than that sh*t.“ Toji turned his whole body towards the boy, putting his pen away.

“It doesn’t even have nicotine in it.“ Sukuna looked away, wincing.

“That’s why I have it! There are ones with nicotine in it.“

“I know. Nicotine is literally like- the reason people smoke so much.“ Toji leans back, he knew Sukuna hated nicotine and also cigarettes, he never let him smoke which drove Toji insane anytime he was stopped.

“Yeah? That’s why I hate it. They both- smell so damn disgusting. It makes people smell worse than they already are!“ Sukuna sat up, leaning his back against the wall full of posters of Toji’s favorite movies and series. “They also stick to my clothes and hair. I smell like f*cking rat poison whenever I come home by train.“

“Oh you and your dear smell.“ Toji mocked. He loved how Sukuna smelled. A lot like the ocean, maybe because he bought ocean themed scents. He thought it was some kind of speciality for Sukuna, and he just liked the designs of them. But he found out the albino boy actually cared about what he bought. Both the designs and the smell.

The one Toji loved the smell of was named “Ocean Wave“. Such a basic name for a perfume that is ocean themed. He didn’t like the design of the bottle since it looked way too basic compared to the box it was in, which he stole from Sukuna to keep it.

He apparently noticed a pattern, reading the base fragrances of the all. They all had “Amberwood“ or “Cedarwood“. He also noted that either base or mid notes had roses and honey and top notes always had “sea salt“.

Not that he was interested in the notes of a perfume, he’d usually pick a cologne or deodorant from the markets. He never tried many different ones, he was loyal to the one cologne he randomly picked in a hurry to run back home to the family dinner. It smelled good, as much as he knows, not from how people complimented how good he smells but the way Sukuna is breathing his skin into himself.

He trusted Sukuna with scents, since the boy was too into his own beauty.

“Smell is important. I have to smell good, look good, it’s the way of a king, you know?“

“I see you’re already bonded with your new name.“ Toji teased him. He liked the light blush covering his cheeks whenever he was called “The King of CURSES“ or “king“ basically. Sukuna liked to deny he loved the name as much as he promoted it himself. What a dumbass.

“Absolutely. People love it too, apparently.“ Toji tilted his head as Sukuna got up from the bed, showing him his TikTok page. “Not many people liked it yet but that f*ck ass Mahito’s idea of promoting it on this app was a good idea, actually. “ Sukuna said in a breath, like the name of the guy burned his tongue to praise.

Toji grabbed his phone, scrolling through the only two videos on Sukuna’s profile. They were just short parts of the songs they finished the production of, almost a year ago. He realized how far they got since then. The band worked on many other songs, polishing them thoroughly and keeping them until the album release.

He saw many popular artists trending their songs this exact way, some of the trending ones weren’t even released ones. Toji frowned. “They will wait a bit longer for official ones, though. “

Sukuna shrugged. “Yes, they’ll wait, if they want to hear more.“ He grinned and Toji knew he meant more than the song itself but his voice. Because among the various types of comments, most of them were about how hot the lead vocalist’s voice was.

Toji grimaced. He doesn’t know whether he was disgusted or some kind of jealous. Why would he be jealous of a couple of stranger’s comments that even they might have long forgotten about?

Sukuna chuckled. “You look mad, darling.“

“It’s just…You’re f*cking cringe.“ He closed the phone and threw the phone back into Sukuna’s hands. The boy just chuckled louder, happier.

“I don’t answer those. I think they’re pathetic.“ Toji has to believe that. Because it is true. If there was something Sukuna never cared about, it was how people saw him. The boy only dressed for himself, bought nice perfumes and colognes, just for himself, dyed his hair and styled it, just for his own pleasure and liking and nothing else. Never asked what someone thought about his look or personality. Toji knew that very well, he was in love with that boy for such reasons.

But he felt dizzy. The chime that graced his world for the better, prettier, was not his. It never belonged to him to start with. He was just two ears to listen and a mouth to smile at him as he sailed for the better of his own world. He was just another audience, maybe a special one but still one of them. Only having his place as the first one to listen to his guitar solos and gentle melodies, the soothing, silent voice of his.

His place will never be taken, but will be crowded more than ever. Not by just his thoughts and emotions but with other people’s. Other people.

One day many will be knowing Sukuna Ryomen Itadori. How good his songs are, how pretty the lyrics are and how hot he is. They will want to hear more, ask more, see more. They will come to his concerts and meetings, tours and openings, just to see a glimpse of him, maybe have a chance to touch him, get a signature on their shirts or photos of one specific person.

It’s too bad he belongs to him.

“Toji. Whatever curse or black magic you did, my f*cking vape fell into the toilet as I flushed it.“

He giggled, coloring another spider lily.

Mahito’s very wanted shopping spree had started.

He especially made them ride a thirty minute long train ride to go to a specific shopping mall, in Shibuya out of all places. Toji wasn’t used to walking around the crowded streets. Thankfully, the pink haired, 1.80 boy helped him find his location easily. Mahito was nowhere to be seen until he was on sight, and then gone again.

“Stop running around so much or I will return back home and absolutely not feel any kind of guilt.“ Sukuna snarled at him, holding the boy from his hoodie and dragging him back to the sidewalk he just tried to walk out of.

“But! That’s so rude! You agreed to come…“ Mahito pouted.

“Yes. To help you impress yourself and your boyfriend. Not babysit you.“

Toji just sighed, the hot weather finally catching up to him, he was already sweating from the train ride.

Sukuna was an expert on clothing, too. He knew what looked good with the other, even though he himself prefered to walk around with basic shorts and no shirt at all. He actually had a taste in fashion.

Toji was clueless. He bought whatever he could, if it is cheap, it is fine. He could wear one shirt for years with enough washing. He liked hoodies and oversized pants to feel comfortable but with summer, his options were basic and useless for both Sukuna and Mahito’s very important liking. So this was not only shopping for Mahito’s identity crisis but for his summer clothes too.

He should have just stayed at home and asked Sukuna to send photos of the clothes he was about to buy. But Mahito begged for Toji to come like it was a life or death situation. Toji really didn’t care if he liked the clothes or not but apparently it was important for him to try on the clothes he was going to buy.

So he was here. At the biggest shopping mall he has ever been in, Mahito knows around it like it’s his own. And Mahito was priority. So they didn’t have a minute to get used to the unusual crowd, following Mahito like his bodyguards, with how big Toji and Sukuna were for their age and how small Mahito looked with the small amount of clothing. He had worn a skirt under the crop top hoodie just before they went out, he said the skirt was easier to take off and he had to wear one to figure out if the skirts he will be looking for would suit him fine.

Not that Toji understood a word he said but he went with it anyway. It kind of reminded him of his once-so-close sister. Going shopping with parents was a pain in the ass, most of the time. For the Zenin family, it was a pain in the ass all the time through it. He never got to have fun while shopping, but his sister was someone who he could follow to escape the other side. In other words, he knew how girls his age liked shopping and how important it was for them to choose the best ones. It was a matter of honor for Mahito, too.

Sukuna laughed at him when he said it was a “boyfriend“ matter. Apparently, they had a talk with Kenjaku over fashion and it turns out the guy likes when Mahito wears skirts or dresses as a joke which was something Mahito didn’t know he was doing.

Now he was in a line where he didn’t know if he felt comfortable in dresses or hoodies the most and Sukuna was there to help him about it. And Toji just happened to join them.

It also started to get Toji thinking about things that have been eating his mind for a while.

Sukuna had a lot of friends. Most of them were gay as f*ck, including his brother, who is dating Sukuna’s best friend, both bisexual. Uraume was nonbinary and that also was enough evidence that Sukuna wasn’t hom*ophobic at all. Now he was helping Mahito with identifying himself even though the boy wasn’t even aware of it.

But was he also a part of it?

Being supportive, only to his close friends, didn’t mean he also had to be like them. And it was irritating Toji to not be able to ask such a basic question after all this time.

And the boy never had dates. Not even caught flirting with anyone in the hallways or outside the studio. If something was certain, it was that Sukuna wasn’t interested in people at all. Not with girls, not with boys, not with anyone. He liked attention but that was it, he wouldn’t be flirting or using his shiny charm to draw a little bit of attention. And the possibilities grew stronger.

What if he wasn’t interested in a relationship?

He was about to go mad.

“Toji-kun! I promise this is the last one.“ Mahito called out for him, separating Toji from the t-shirt section and he walked to the dressing cabins. Grabbing the two shopping bags Sukuna left for him with Mahito’s three others.

He looked around for Sukuna before following Mahito, he was nowhere to be seen for a while now. And they were supposed to be doing this sh*t together, Toji grunted.

He watched the curtains of the cabinet Mahito got in, his movements winding them. The curtain moved aside a bit and before Toji could move forward to avoid an accidental reveal, it opened all the way through.

“So, how is this one? I kind of liked the other better, it’s a bit shorter but also puffier, so!“

He looked up and down to the boy. Maybe a hundredth time today. Every one of them was either worse from the other or something too majestic to call it a piece of cloth. Mahito somehow was able to make everything he wears look cute enough to buy. If not gonna wear it soon, maybe wear it just before you die.

“Well.“ He hummed, suddenly deciding to actually be honest when Sukuna’s honesty was not present to help him out.

The skirt was longer than the other ones he bought, a black one with square designs. Such a basic one, Mahito was right to say he liked the other better. That one was at least a bit more puffier to add into the adorable look. Mahito liked wearing crop tops with skirts, which also looked good with high waist pants and skirts only.

“Take the other one. This one reveals so much of your stomach area, not bad. But not better than a high waist skirt.“

Mahito blinked a couple times before chuckling. “Oh you’re finally being honest! I thought so too. Long skirts aren’t my thing really.“ He spinned around himself once, twice.

“I was honest before, too. Sukuna is just better at fashion. “ It felt quite ironic to say as a graphic-designer. He was good when it came to fantasy fashion. Like designing a dragon trainer’s clothes and maybe a princess’s dress.

“He is, really. He helped me out a lot there! I wonder if he has a secret girlfriend or something, he knows much about skirts.“

Toji’s breath caught up on his throat.

“You think?“

Mahito laughed. “No! Sukuna isn’t a girl guy, I think. He wouldn’t be able to tolerate anyone actually.“

Toji sucked in a breath, surviving the previous one. “Do you…Do you think he’s interested in-“ Then it felt stupid to ask. Like any other times when he was about to ask Choso, or Sukuna himself. He was able to change the direction of the question then, not now.

“If he’s interested in you, or men?“ Mahito leaned into the curtains that are holding on for dear life. Toji frowned at how direct Mahito was. “Hehehe, you don’t need to finish that.“

“I suspect he likes men. He had a boyfriend back in middle school. They didn’t last long though, that poor boy…“ Mahito sighed. “I don’t think there is anyone who can tolerate Itadori-kun’s charm.“ He looked directly into Toji’s eyes.

Sukuna had a boyfriend. Once. And it didn’t last long before the other ran for his life, away from Sukuna’s curse. The curse that felt like a blessing for Toji.

He was doomed.

Sukuna came back with his own two bags. Both filled to the brim. Mahito looked fascinated and as curious as Toji, but all Sukuna did was to grab the two bags from Toji, leaving him with only three and asking to get out of here.

“But! Why don’t we eat or drink something before going home? Please? Pretty please?“

“We have food at home.“

“I’m not too hungry to eat your ass cooking.“ Sukuna gasped. “Eat sh*t then!“

“Wouldn’t be so different from your cooking now would it?“

They decided to eat outside.

Typical fast food chains in malls. The mall back in the town was small with only three floors, the third floor was always the one that had places to eat. This mall had four floors up, and two more minus floors underground, which had small pet shops and tailors before the exit door to the parking lots.

The walk upstairs was a long one, just like they didn’t go up and down from the same stairs just to find Mahito the best skirt and dress. He still wasn’t exactly satisfied with his purchases, but it still was a “start”. Considering there were four bags of clothing and one bag of makeup, it was more than a start, but he didn’t say anything. He was too hungry and tired, and his XL burger with extra cheddar cheese looked so yummy.

He checked his phone, it hasn’t been opened for a while now. It was getting dark outside, he prayed to god they wouldn’t miss the last train. He wouldn’t be able to pay a large amount of money for the taxi after all the shopping. He also didn’t want to be at home too late to go straight to bed. He had designings to do, god forbid anyone thinks about it.

“Come onnnn, Ryo~ I’m curious!!” Sukuna placed his bag back to the floor when Mahito stood up to open the bags he placed by his side.

“You can take a look at it at home!“ He snarled. Whatever was in that bag, it was kept hidden like it was something either embarrassing or dangerous like a bomb. Toji expected anything and nothing at the same time. He saw Sukuna buying fake bones and skulls for his music videos and also saw him getting a strawberry cake the very same day with only three minutes difference, he learnt not to be so surprised about his purchases and hobbies.

But he was so f*cking curious.

“Su-ku-na~“ He murmured, leaning into the desk. Sukuna hugged the bags, tightening his grip on it, his lips quivered by how Toji said his name, either ready to bark at him or mumble something like a curse.

“I’m really getting curious too and believe me I don’t give a f*ck what you bought, just show us.“ Sukuna refused to give in.

“Back off Mahito! We’re drawing enough attention.“ He softened his grip on the bags.

“Yeah because we are TikTok popular.“ Mahito cheered.

“Prolly because you’re wearing too much and you both are barking too loud.“ Mahito pouted and leaned back as his earrings clashed into each other, making a cling noise the pair is too used to hearing since morning.

“So? At least give us some hints so we can figure it out somehow. What is it you’re so damn shy to show?“

“It’s just- you idiots won’t understand and laugh at me like I’m a small girl!“

Mahito giggled. “That’s a bit sexist, don’t you think so?“ Sukuna pouted.

“See it yourself then. I will not let any of you inside my house if just ONE of you laughs. “ With that, the desk fell silent. Toji focused on the way Sukuna’s hands opened the bag more than he wanted. Thankfully he was more curious about what’s in the bag more than what those hands can do to him.

Mahito leaned close with amazing pace, like trying not to warn a tiger.

Within the very interesting bag, there was another with a logo of a toy shop on it. The transparent bag looked quite pink with how much stuff was in it. It kinda looked like Sukuna wanted to gather all colored stuff in one bag, like treasuring them into a chest to lock it up. At least that was what Sukuna intended to do, probably.

Mahito gasped slightly, then covered his mouth with both hands to repress an urge to laugh, which Toji stopped him with a sharp look. Sukuna wasn’t done showing all the stuff and he aimed to see all of it.

He checked Sukuna’s face as if it was making him uncomfortable in a mental hospital way. The boy just looked away and tch’ed, placing his bag on the table for them to see by themselves.

Toji was the first one to move ahead and take out some of them, his mouth gaped with a chuckle, which Sukuna just puffed at. “There.“

It was a bunch of Hello Kitty stuff. And only Hello Kitty out of all Sanrio characters. Which Mahito noticed first.

“What’s wrong with you!? Where are all the other ones??? Why is she alone?“

Sukuna yelled at him faster than expected. “I hate them motherf*ckers!“ Mahito gasped.

“But not Hello Kitty?“

He was silent again.

Toji grabbed something big that could be the size of his head, which was a plushie with the character’s usual outfit he saw everywhere. He held it between his palms and squeezed the sides. It was such a soft one for someone like Sukuna, who had Transformers figures in his bedroom.

Mahito grabbed another one from the bag, a big ball with Hello Kitty wrap around it.

It had Toji’s attention before another one caught his eye, he bought not just one but two. He forced himself not to look so surprised and bit his lip.

He didn’t want to laugh. It wasn’t because this was embarrassing. Out of character, it is, but not embarrassing.

He was so adorable like that, cheeks the same color as all the Hello Kitty stuff.

Nothing could prepare him for this. A bag full of one specific , cute, small character. Toji never saw so many Hello Kitty plushies before. There were at least five, with three being small ones with just their heads and two the size of his head. He also had a glimpse of keychains under the bag, under two pieces of cloth.

He grabbed another plushie before Mahito leaned in and took out something that looked too out of place, too red.

“Oh! Spider-man!“

Sukuna snapped with that. He rushed forward, snatching the red piece of cloth from Mahito’s hands as the boy could only take in a sharp breath. “Not that.“

“Jeez, what even is th-…“ Mahito’s eyes widened as his words trailed off. Toji looked up from the two big plushies he was basically hugging, he couldn't lie even if he was never interested in plushies, these ones were quite soft.

“Holy sh*t. Ryo-kun. Is that?-“

“Shut the hell up before I kill you.“ Mahito just giggled. He locked eyes with Toji’s asking ones before Sukuna slapped a hand onto the table and grabbed all the stuff, tucking them inside the bag.

“That’s enough fun for you.“ Toji flinched as “his“ plushies were taken away.

“I loved those, asshole, don’t take them away like that!“

Sukuna scoffed. “Stop acting like I took your children away!“

“It felt like you did! We were bonding.“

“You don’t need such bonding!“

“Yes I do, if we’re going to live together.“ Toji crossed his arms, missing a chance to hide away his blush. Mahito looked like he was about to burst, either into laughing or spilling some secrets.

“You can take a look at them at home.“ Sukuna just murmured before putting the bag aside. He frowned with red covering his ears, adding to his cheeks after getting angry too. Toji watched his face long enough to not notice the small alarm beeping beside them.

“Oh, the drinks are ready, I will go and-“

“Don’t bother. I’ll go get them, I need to buy something else too.“

Sukuna left the table with a last glance at Mahito.

“Hah, I bet he’s gonna get that strawberry cake.“ Mahito hummed, awfully silent and playful. Toji looked his way.

“What the hell is going on with you?“

“Promise not to make it obvious I told you and I’ll tell.“ Toji rolled his eyes. Wrath of Sukuna was something he never feared but this one made him anxious in the stomach. He needed that drink fast.

“Alright, what’s the fuss about?“

Mahito looked at Sukuna’s direction and leaned into the desk, so naturally, almost like talking about something serious.

“You saw the Spider-Man pajamas?“ Toji lifted his eyebrow.

“Well. There were a lot of Hello Kitty, Spider-Man isn’t so surprising after all those. “ Toji felt like he was missing out on something. He tried to work his mind over it, something important that Spider-Man pajamas symbolized with Hello Kitty. Nothing.

“You’re missing out on so many trends, Toji-kun! Use TikTok and Instagram more often.“

“Okay get to the damn point!“ He was already stressed about many possibilities and Mahito was taking his time like nothing.

“Okay! So there’s this trend couples are getting Spider-Man and Hello Kitty pajamas. As a matching, you know? It’s cute and- You understand!“ He rushed out the words. Toji opened his mouth to object but he was cut off as fast.

“He bought that Spider-Man pajama for you.“

He was left agaped. It didn’t make…any sense.

“What…What makes you think that he bought them for me?“ Mahito sighed uncharacteristically.

“I thought Ryo was the oblivious one.“ He stood up to grab Toji’s arm. “He wants to match pajamas with you.“ Then he sat back before Sukuna arrived, with quite the aura with him.

“Talking something exciting I see?“ He sat, “Keep it, I’m not interested.“ he shut Mahito before he opened his mouth to lie about everything and anything.

Toji just looked at his drink before him. And the strawberry cake. Sukuna bought three of them strawberry cakes. He never liked that.

His drink was wrong, too. He couldn’t open his mouth to say anything about it. As if he could start either crying or screaming like a teenage girl in an American movie if he tries to talk. Or his voice would waver with the beat of his heart. Like drums. He’d hate that.

“Toji. Eat it or I’ll start throwing a tantrum, would look quite normal with my bag of plushies. “

He washed his face before leaving the mall. He needed that refreshing touch before something even worse(better) happened.

They sent Mahito before them, since he was so excited to show all the stuff he bought to Kenjaku. His absence brought a silence that was quite annoying, unlike any other time where they felt each other's presence with a peaceful silence. Now they walked between the crowded streets where many shops overflowed with customers, some of them closing before the sun goes entirely down, both tense and silent, like two strangers catching a rhythm of each other’s steps by accident and now can’t stop.

Because Toji had so much to ask. Because today, he noticed how oblivious he was until now.

This wasn’t the first time they were matching something. He was just missing out on the “trend“, thinking it’s just something…something. Nothing at all. He kept all the keychains and bookmarks, random pins of the characters of random anime or manga.

They were all connected to each other with Sukuna’s.

He didn’t expect the realization to hit now. Not after something that didn’t even happen yet. What if he’s wrong? What if the pajama isn’t for him but for…someone else? Like Gojo. Friends did matchings too, anyway. But he was his friend too, why wouldn’t it be for him?

Why would it be him? Why would he want to match with him?

To complete a part they never knew that was missing? Not until they see it. What did Sukuna have that Toji didn’t? Why would they need each other to be complete?

What if the reason they kept holding onto each other’s hearts despite the fact one is missing a part and one has too much wasn’t because they were stupid but because they had parts that needed to be complete. And they were matching.

“Where are we even going?“ Toji asked, waving off the smoke coming his way out of Sukuna’s vape. He followed him somewhere, after waving Mahito goodbye. Sukuna hasn't talk a word since then.

“Flower shop. “

A flower shop. “At this hour? I doubt-“

“I know a place, I bought all my plants from there.“ Toji nodded, sounds good. Sukuna had been planning to buy more flowers for the garden at the house. He thinks it looks too plain without any trees, too.

“So you’re going to have trees or flowers?“ Toji asked and lifted his head up to the place, more like a palace, Sukuna mentioned. It looked like the house of a God or Goddess with colorful roses and other flowers in colors he didn’t know existed until now, and vines covering the whole front wall to the back. “Holy sh*t.“

He looked around, wondering why such a place was here out of all other places, away from eyes and crowd. He now understood why it was still open for customers at this hour where even the biggest shop was about to close.

Sukuna grinned at him, he didn’t notice the eyes locked on his face since they arrived before then. “I know right? This place is more than a flower shop, actually. It has everything in it- like- everything. “

Toji tilted his head. “I can tell. You didn’t answer my question though.“ They walked in from the very small door contrary to the size of the whole building. It was hidden behind a vine of red roses, Toji almost didn’t see it as Sukuna moved the vines aside, despite his hands being full with two bags, he was happy to give “princess“ or “queen“ treatment- as Toji only accepts it that way, saying if he was something like that, at least he could be a queen- to Toji.

Inside was everything he expected. From flowers to trees of season. They were placed randomly, their names written on the tags placed with caution, hanging from the leaves and some from the pots hanging from the ceiling. The absence of the ground separating two floors added into the artificial domain. When Toji looked up, he could see night falling outside, moonlight about to take its turn to illuminate the sky.

There were packets of seeds and bags of soil around them at the entrance. A cat was sleeping on one of the bags, its food and water cup beside, looking quite comfortable sleeping in the shape of perfect bread. Sukuna went ahead and petted it, waking the beauty from its slumber.

“Hello darling, hello. “ The cat twisted its neck, her neck, as Sukuna kept calling her his “girl“, leaning into Sukuna’s touch and purring. Toji was reminded that he shouldn’t be surprised to see him with animals, especially with cats. Sukuna lifted his head to call out for a name Toji guessed would be the name of the owner, and sat on the ground beside the cat, embracing her whole to rest her on his lap.

The LED grow lights used from place to place reflected on the boy’s face, with his hair dropping in front of his face uncharacteristically, a fond smile and tenseness as he caressed the puffy fur ball on his lap, reminding Toji of how human he was, he looked like a painting.

Toji reached for his phone.

“If you’re going to take a picture, at least post it in your story or something.“ Sukuna murmured, typical amusem*nt in his tone drove Toji mad anytime.

“I don’t use that app, don’t ruin the photo.“ He zoomed in, adjusting the light level and clicking one, two, three different pictures from the same angle. He chuckled when Sukuna posed with the cat, lifting her head up with his palm and holding her against his face.

“Too late, I’m not taking more photos.“

He clicked another. Sukuna groaned.

The owner was quite cute. He welcomed them a bit later than intended, Sukuna thought he could be out for dinner or shopping before he arrived with a pot full of soil.

Toji stood aside and eyed the cat named Cinderella who had enough of Sukuna’s cuteness aggression and searched for some kind of comfort from his legs.

Sukuna looked lost between all the options of this season. Sweet Alyssums and Nerine Lilies were both good options but Toji couldn’t help thinking how Nerine Lilies looked like Spider Lilies, in a way. They looked gentle, a lot softer than the feeling of loss when he looked at Spider Lilies.

“Nerine Lilies are a type of Lycoris Radiata. Higanbana or Spider Lilies. They have many names and variants, in colors too.“ Sukuna had sensed him looking over his arm, examining the Nerine Lilies especially. He lifted his eyebrows. So these were Spider lilies after all.

“Why think so deep then? Those are perfect, I think.“ Toji murmured, trying not to sound forceful. Sukuna talked, a smirk dripping off his voice.

“You like Spider Lilies, huh? I thought it was just a metaphor you used to symbolize my character.“ He held the petals of the lilies, caressing them gently. Toji looked away, no, he took enough pictures today.

“I think they resemble your…eyes, uh, pretty well.“ He stuttered, sh*t.

“Oh? Do tell me, I wanted to hear more of your vision for a while now.“ Sukuna turned around, stepping forward to stand in front of Toji. He looked up at Sukuna, pressing his lips together, how bad could this get?

“Since when you wonder?“ He managed to let out, more determined than he expected to. Sukuna tilted his head, somehow closer. Toji looked away, trying to scan the place and failing before he met red eyes again.

“Since you started sketching nonsense again, y’know, corners of your notebooks, your walls, your desk.“ He smiled like he just cooked something delicious. But the only thing that was cooked until it burned to ashes was Toji’s heart.

“They’re not nonsense- well, they are in a way.“ Sukuna knew what kind of reaction he could pull from Toji, he tried everything. He lifted his eyebrows, grinning widely.

“Because they’re all me?“

His breath hitched, not that he had tried his best to hide his sketches, except some that are too obvious. But he still felt like he was caught sneaking out of his house, his heart skipping beats with a different feeling to it this time.

He wanted to punch his goddamn glasses off that look so good on him, especially under the light that god had sent for his doom.

“Yes. Because they’re all you, it’s all nonsense.“ He pushed a hand on the boy’s chest, forcing a playful look. “Don’t flatter your ego, f*cker. You’re sometimes insufferable.“

Sukuna chuckled, kissing the hand Toji couldn’t retreat before the other grabbed it, holding his cold hand against the side of his neck. “Thank you, I’m trying my best.“

Toji’s thumb moved on his own, caressing over his jawline and cheek, he frowned with an exhale. “Only thing you’re good at, congrats.“

“Come on! You love my singing too.“

“You’re crossing a line, dear.“ The line was crossed a long time ago, the day both their hands were bleeding from punching each other’s warmth. They pretended not to notice.

They ran out of breath, tripping over to not fall when dirt splatters to the ground before Toji’s feet. One could easily explain why there was dirt and flower petals around the train station, they only needed to see this kind of event weekly.

There was no place to sit, as Sukuna predicted, after work hours, kind of an hour where middle schoolers from the city return back home after their mother called for the fifth time. Sukuna never knew that feeling, a countryside boy he is with a careless mother. Or too drunk to care. Toji was too caged to experience anything close like that, always on time.

He held onto Sukuna’s arm.

City lights looked nothing like stars, like many people said. It only polluted the night sky, challenging the Moon to be the one illuminating over the surface. It only happened to feel like looking at the sun in the middle of the night. Toji’s eyelids fell, he hadn’t noticed how tired he was until he stepped into the train full of overworked teens. Only the sound of their breaths and some phone rings, the train silently crossing over the city on its way home.

Sukuna tripped, reminding Toji that the boy held onto a pot of flower with one arm and the other wrapped around the handle, letting the slightly shorter boy hold onto him.

“I can hold the flowers now.“ Toji offered, for the tenth time since the moment they got on, even the older woman sitting on the seat beneath them had enough of the albino boy’s obstinacy.

“I’m holding on just fine, god, Toji-“

“Don’t “Toji“ me, douchebag. At least let me go find somewhere else to hold.“ Toji yelled in a whisper, he really didn’t know where else to hold when there were at least three people pressing against his back.

“You think you can find something else to hold? I’m good, I said— why the hell would y’all never believe me? You’re not even a big of a deal to hold.“

Toji sighed. He never doubted Sukuna’s strength , he wasn’t allowed to, anyway. He let go of the two bags he has been carrying since they got on the train, fixing Sukuna’s glasses that hardly stood at the tip of his nose. The boy smiled ever so slightly, muttering a “Thank you“ that sounded more like a question.

“What?“

“You’re so kind today, is all.“

“Are you high-“ Train stopped on a whim, arriving at the next station unexpectedly fast. Toji tripped over, reflexively grabbing onto Sukuna’s waist, finding his balance from his hoodie that he couldn’t find grabbing onto his arm. The boy tripped backwards, his back hitting a random’s own to stop, his muscles flexing painfully as he held the handle. He should go to the gym he promised Satoru.

Toji cringed at the cliche of the scene, today was all about testing his limits. To see when he’ll be on Sukuna’s lips when the boy did nothing but tease him. It shouldn’t be that easy. He hated to look up and see Sukuna’s lips moving, forming words and grinning like an idiot. A word out of him and he could be begging for them, it was nonsense.

It wasn’t fair at all, too.

He let go of the boy’s hoodie, he wanted to get away, somehow. But the force of the train pushed him to hold back onto Sukuna’s arm. He cursed under his breath. “f*ck it. What am I gonna do anyway?“

“Hm?“

“Nothing.“

He wanted to understand if this was the nature of Sukuna Ryomen or an offering. Was he an idiot for thinking there could be something mutual ? If there isn’t a thing called something for what they are. With the way they were. Whatever they have?

For now, he rested his head on the shoulder offered for him to hold on. He wanted to reach something else, something deeper within the boy’s heart. So that they could hold onto each other, finally. When they search for something to feel inside themselves, Toji wants to feel Sukuna’s embrace.

He watches Sukuna water the Nerine Lilies they had planted together, from the window facing Itadori’s backyard, and the playground he used to sit not more than five minutes, out of boredom, out of loneliness. For days, weeks, months. He watches him until his eyes flutter shut and he falls into the arms of dreams that are no different than his reality. Until he feels the same warmth he feels in another world, but with honesty.

“The place won’t blow up if you don’t run!“ Toji yells through the cold wind blowing, white particles traveling as fast as it is. “If you don’t blow it up yourself, though…“ He mutters later, his lips trembling when in front of his scarf parts. Surely Sukuna won’t be able to hear him, he doubts he heard him yelling too until the boy stops on his track and turns, snowflakes landed on his eyelashes and hair brings out the nature within him.

“Yes but it’s better at this hour!“ Boy waits until Toji catches up to him, taking heavy steps, in and out from the high snow. “My offer to carry you is still applicable.“ He reaches out and takes off Toji’s scarf, the boy squeaks quietly before it is wrapped around his neck again, for the third time since they stepped out of home. He takes a glance at Sukuna and it answers the question for now.

“You can’t keep this sh*t wrapped around you for more than ten minutes, be more diligent.“

Toji scofs into the scarf. “It’s not easy! Do you see- oh no, you do. Because it is impossible not to!“ He gestures around with his arms, hardly able to move with freezing muscles and multiple layers of clothing. Their matching Christmas sweaters are not even on display to show people like Sukuna was excited to.

Despite most of their plans not going in accord, Sukuna chuckles with an energy Toji really isn’t able to approve at the moment.

“I promise, Toji- I promise you will love it there!“ He draws out the promises, holding Toji’s cheeks with gloved hands, that are also covered in snow and still wet from their snowball fight. Toji hisses and shuts his eyes. “Don’t touch me with those gloves!“

He was sensitive to cold as much as he was sensitive to loud music. To his luck, the other’s favorite season happens to be winter of all other cute, cozy, enjoyable ones. He could even prefer the hottest day of summer to the warmest day of winter. It never was warm, anyway.

What is worse than the fact they were outside the depths of the near forest downtown, when they could have enjoyed their winter break at home, cuddling and watching stupid Christmas movies (Toji would rather watch Harry Potter than going out) is the fact that it’s not even six in the morning.

But it also wasn’t like Toji could turn Sukuna down when he asked them to watch the sunrise. He wouldn’t, and he didn’t, too. Freezing to death could be considered a small price for having a moment with Sukuna Ryomen Itadori.

Nevertheless, the pain he feels made him consider his choices right this moment, before Sukuna starts walking beside him. Toji exhaled into his gloved hands. “Damn you, what was going through your mind when you started a snowball fight?“

Sukuna giggled. “You played along, though. I didn’t stick a handful of snow into your shirt, you did.“ Toji considered himself to be lucky breathing now. He bit his lip behind his scarf, trying to match Sukuna’s steps.

He just hoped all these would be worth seeing that place Sukuna talks about. An abandoned building in the depths of the forest, its destruction stopped halfway when the winter came. Satoru and Sukuna liked to discover abandoned places, such as the mall they found back in the previous summer. It was underground and didn’t have a proper entrance, they had found a small vent that led them to the mall’s bathrooms.

They liked to collect random stuff left in these places, most of them didn’t have much that was worth taking to go but even so the whole thing was interesting on its own.

Toji wanted to join sometime, but in a time when Satoru Gojo wasn’t present.

In December of all times wasn’t the time he certainly liked but they were alone and that was enough for now.

Sukuna took his hand into his, tucking both their hands into his coat’s pocket to warm Toji’s hand, at least one of them. The other was already burning hot by the time, along with his cheeks.

He looked up, the trail of street lights stopped and so was the road. Dead end? Toji muttered, looking into the dark woods as Sukuna let go of his hand, grabbing a flashlight out of his bag full of God knows what.

“We will keep going straight ahead. Don’t leave my side.“ The flashlight flickered open, illuminating the road ahead as the moonlight was already down from the sky and hidden by the clouds. It snowed a bit slower.

“It’s not like I’m a kid. I won’t just get lost.“ Toji followed Sukuna, his hands back on his pockets when he wished Sukuna would keep warming them up. But the other was already focused back on the trees and the road instead of him. Maybe it was better in a way.

“I don’t trust you with that. What if you fall and I don’t notice? Since you’re-“

“Since blah blah blah, don’t f*cking finish that sentence.“ Toji barked at him. Not that he was offended, it just became an annoying way of mocking his height, that wasn’t even short in any way except Sukuna’s. But the truth that his genes were all huge in every way wasn’t Toji’s fault. He believed he could catch up to his height , he was still growing, so was Sukuna but neither of them were certain. Toji looked up at the boy who was already past 6’1“ at the age of seventeen that had a slight chance to grow more. He wasn’t too short with 5’10“ and a higher chance to grow taller as he ages up, since he already got taller by seven or eight centimeters since they met.

Sukuna still had his fun though. He cut down some leaves and branches that grew on their way, opening a comfortable space for them to walk before the trees stopped appearing and they stepped on unwalked snow in a field surrounded by the forest. It was impossible not to notice the tall building, looking like it was about to fall apart but vines of leaves and huge branches of trees held it together. It reminded Toji of Kintsugi as Sukuna’s flashlight wandered around the cracks of the walls.

“See, here.“ Sukuna muttered, snow was still falling slowly but heavy, landing on the pink hair and the cloth of Toji’s hat as they stood still, observing. Toji stepped forward when Sukuna’s hand found his, leading him right. “It’s better inside.“

When they walked to the side, Toji noticed a whole wall was fallen, inside fully visible through the missing doors and windows, just some vines and rocks managed to hold onto them. Sukuna stepped in right ahead, inside wasn’t any different from the outside, just prettier. Still covered by snow, winter roses coloring the field beneath the disaster. No wonder why Sukuna loved this place, yet never mentioned the flowers and vines.

Toji looked at Sukuna, he breathes hot against the cold weather. He just looks at the boy like asking him “I told you, didn’t I?“

He wanders his eyes upper, to the ceiling of the tower of broken rocks and bricks. Half of the floor stands by the poles, providing the two a perch to reach. Toji frowns with a gape of his mouth.

“You want to die so badly don’t you?“ His tone is rather soft than he intended to.

Sukuna reaches for Toji’s hat, pulling it off him and his hair falls over his face. He should just cut it off right here for blocking his view (and also tickling his nose).

“It would be a rather romantic death, then.“

“Right here? With me?“ Sukuna watches him, the way snow falls over his hair this time, a lot more visible than on pink hair and a piece of cloth. Like his hair was made for snow to gather, somewhere it belongs, some core winter nights comes from. Quite cold yet embracing, soft and dangerous. Black night covers the depths of forest, leafless yet still green and it snows on both. Sukuna picks up a piece of night just to see lively green, barely in color with the light of his lantern that shines over somewhere entirely different from their scene.

“Right here, with you. Yeah.“ All he says and none of them understand the exact meaning of that as much as they certainly know.

But they climb on the cracked stairs, to the perch. It doesn’t look as beautiful as the bottom, Toji looks down, watches it snow over red roses. Sukuna’s plan wasn’t exactly this, but it might be just better. To see sunlight rise between the clouds, melting the cold blanket over the night. To see it smile, for him to smile.

He never liked winter. He lied. But he just might let it be this way if it means a romantic death with Toji.

“We should do it again.“

“Hell no.“

“In summer, then.“

Toji laughs into his scarf. He isn’t as cold as he was when it was dark. And the sun rises.

Choso isn’t the type of person to show off. Especially about his boyfriend. Sukuna sometimes forgot that Satoru was dating his brother for almost two years, almost.

Only when Choso mentions something romantic happened to him, he comes to realize who he’s dating. It happens to be his best friend, too. And he hates the way he’s used to it so easily, yet there were problems occurring. Such as the things Satoru does as a partner, it drives Sukuna crazy by how creative and disgustingly cute they were.

Absolutely sickening. Sukuna recalls his story of reactivating his Instagram account. Just to find Toji’s account that he deactivated a long time ago. The thought of not being able to yet post stories with the boy, he couldn’t even take a single picture with him.

Until last summer, when they went to a shopping mall just to walk around because they had nothing to do and the mall had an air conditioner unlike the House of Curses. A story as classic as an average popular high schoolers story of eating at a fancy restaurant or ordering the most three-piled drink and dessert in a cafe.

A photo he just happened to take by both physical and mental forces. It was harder to convince Toji, more than he ever thought. He still hates himself for listening to Toji that time and not editing the red slap mark on his cheek. He only accepted such humiliation just to be able to post a story with him. Though he’s sure he got that slap because he asked the boy to kiss his cheek.

Nevertheless, it was worth it for such a shot. It wasn’t a kiss but the hug on his neck did the job for both visuals and his satisfaction. He felt like he used Toji for his popularity, which most of his friends mocked him for, but in reality he just was desperate for his own love life content. And for Toji, obviously.

He didn’t think “ideas“ and “jealousy“ would find a way to get to him, not so soon.

“Satoru made it for me, who else could it be?“ Choso held a paper box with many other papers. Each one a different color of the same thing. Only the paper box was pure white with Satoru’s handwriting and sketching on it. Sukuna made a face.

“And what exactly is this stupidity?“ Choso frowned at him, putting the paper box on the counter with the same care he did when he was preparing Yuuji’s seventh birthday cake. Sukuna hoped there wasn’t anything extra inside the box because he can’t tolerate stepping on chocolate drops for another three months if Choso drops this one too.

“It’s not stupid! This is our…“ He looked away, a blush appearing on both his cheeks and ears. Sukuna lifted his head up from the laptop he hadn't dropped from his face since morning. “Yes?“

Choso sighed, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide for longer even if he wanted to. And it wasn’t exactly a big deal since it was only something made out of the excitement of the moment. It shouldn’t be. But it’s Sukuna Ryomen.

“It’s a paper ring and some paper flowers. Like- you know. Uh-“

“Engagement.“ Sukuna said, voice flat as the Minecraft world, or a square, who knows? “You two are engaged.“

Choso almost jumped across the counter. “No! What- It’s too early for that!“

“But that's the exact idea, no?“ He moved his attention back on his screen, forcing himself, or tricking himself into reading the documents Uraume sent him. Choso stuttered, his steps even closer now.

“Ryo! No- well, yes. But you know it’s those- trending things.“ Sukuna clicked his tongue, how long can he pretend not to care? Choso grabbed at his arm like a dramatic romantic comedy character begging for permission from her parents for a marriage to a poor man. Which wasn’t exactly so different for their case, Satoru could be rich as a surname but the guy wasn’t the brightest of them all for character wise.

“You’re not mad are you? You know us! We do such things- you see our Instagram storie-“

“Will you shut up? Jeez. I didn’t say anything. Go to hell and come back with him, I don’t care in the slightest. “ Choso stood silent. Blinking a couple times with glassy eyes, Sukuna only noticed when silence was interrupted with a sob.

“Are you f*cking serious right now? Choso-“ He sat up, grabbing the shaking hands of his brother, who is a lot more dramatic than he thought.

“You don’t care about me.“ He cried out, as ugly as Sukuna remembered. “Do you not care about me?“

“Holy sh*t- No. Don’t do this to me right now.“ Sukuna looked around like a confused deer, searching for something to pat his brothers back instead of him. He gritted his teeth anxiously, just like he prayed that his mother didn’t hear Choso cry.

“Come on. Choso. It’s not true you know that- Stop crying, little dumbass.“ He watched him sob into his leg, nothing could prepare him for this. He would have dodged a knife or two but not tears, never.

For such a dumb reason, too.

“Choso. God, you’re a menace!” He sighed, caressing the smaller one’s untied hair, digging his nails to his scalp like he knows how he enjoys it. “Fool, you didn’t even dry your hair.” He muttered, his whispers colliding with Choso’s small sobs.

He forgot what it was about. Did it happen because he happened to be jealous of such a gesture? It wasn’t exactly a toxic one. too. He always was like this, he wanted to live a life like Choso was able to live. He always felt like he was missing out on his own youth as he watched others, Choso, energetic and always somewhere. He has someone to love him, to make something out of nothing, no reason.

He tucked Choso’s hair behind his ear, letting the boy rest his cheek against his palm. He breathed shakily.

He was glad Choso moved on from his understanding of his own humanity, which was never “not there” to begin with. Satoru made him breathe, he let Sukuna’s little brother feel like he was alive again. And he never wanted it to be any other way. Choso deserved this, as he cried. He deserved to be loved, to be human, to feel alive, in any age and universe. Either with the name of Itadori or something else.

Sukuna wanted to feel alive too. He just hadn’t noticed it before he happened.

But did he deserve it like his brother? Could anyone love him even though he never loved himself as such? Could he be called human, at all?

Choso looked up at him, huge drops of tears sliding down his cheeks in his silent cries. He cried like this since he was a baby, big tears with loud screams. His mother was fascinated, saying that these were God’s gift. Sent only for her little babies. It rained when Choso was born on the eighth of April , just like how it snowed the day Sukuna was born, on the fourth of November of all dates.

His mother always said it snowed on his skin and hair, so he could be as strong as the white and as pretty as snowy days. And if a part of his soul feels lost, it will be snowing, for him to be complete forever. It never snowed on the fourth of November ever again. Like it had to be for once and never after.

He remembers the videos of them, placed side by side like they’re two interactive toys their mother awaited for them to connect to each other. He recalls how proud he felt when his one year old self reached out for his small brother who’s just born a year after him, wiping his tears away, quite messily, with a piece of his own cloth.

What stupid reasons to cry. For breathing but not exactly alive.

“Ryomen. Don’t cry.”

His breath hitched, his palms pressed against his eyes under the glasses, a bit steamy because of his warm tears. “I’m not..cryin’…” It’s all because of you.

Choso’s arms wrapped around his neck, the boy almost on his lap. Sukuna lifts him up under his arms, fixing his crossed legs to avoid pain. Choso had gotten a lot heavier since he last lifted him up. He can’t recall that one time, too. He winces when hot tears are wiped with the back of his shirt.

They don’t talk. Both of them don't remember what brought them to the present anyway. Choso memorizes the warmth of his brother, he doesn’t feel it often.

“When are you going to give the Spider-man merchs to Toji-kun, by the way?”

“Get off of me, you snotty-face.” Choso giggles.

Toji forgot about the existence of his TikTok. He was almost addicted to it before the exams started and studio stuff got harder. He just put his phone on ‘do not disturb’ mode and let it be, it was all chance he picked up a call in time. None of them were important anyway.

So when he got bored enough to open the app before a good night's sleep, he didn’t exactly expect his direct messages to be full of requests from random people and videos sent from Mahito, Choso and Sukuna. He sighed, at least he had something interesting to do other than scrolling through his ‘for you page’ full of Transformers and Marvel. He doesn't know where to start, though.

He wasn’t exactly interested in whatever weird creepy-pasta sh*t Mahito had sent him. Most videos that had been sent were already taken down, so he had an excuse to use against him when he’s asked why he had left him on seen after sparing time to log in the app.

He switched to Sukuna’s chat right after, half of the 99+ messages were on his chat, not so surprisingly since the boy scolded him a lot of times for him to check the videos. He picked the videos from their cover first. Some of them were about their common interest with Marvel movies, a couple Bucky Barnes edits captioned by horny teenagers. Toji could almost imagine Sukuna kicking his feet to Bucky Barnes.

For his ideals, Dr. Strange was the one. He might not twirl his hair and giggle every time he's on screen but he likes to rewatch some well made edits of the hero. Something about him since he was a child purchasing comic books and watching superhero cartoons.

He couldn’t ignore slideshow videos with Hello Kitty and Spider-man matchings, it hasn’t left his tail since Mahito mentioned it and now he wonders where the hell is his pajama. Maybe burned to the strings or passed on somewhere, waiting to be remembered.

As he scrolled down on their chat, like it was his own for you page from the beginning (it will be his for you page if Sukuna shares everything he sees with him). He noticed a pattern of edits and slideshows, funny cat videos and facts about something he wasn’t even interested in. Then a stack of paper-craft videos started to appear, some of them deleted from the chat Sukuna, sent some different edits that didn’t even make sense after knowing the boy’s interests, and more paper-craft trying to fit in.

He opened one of them, he saw too many things on the internet that he was ready for some gore or jumpscare in the middle of the video. Considering Sukuna’s way of having fun, it wasn’t impossible too. Watching one of them would answer his question just fine.

The hands of a woman, he picked it out from the fancy nails that’s just right for some ASMR content Mahito found really interesting and ridiculous, folded a piece of paper into something he couldn’t really make something of. He watched it until the end with intent, ready to get jumped off from his bed or throw his phone away.

She made a flower out of the red paper. Then leaves with greens and she repeated it a couple times until it made a bouquet, wrapped with a small, pink ribbon. Variety of flowers of colors were made at last. He couldn’t fathom the purpose of this video being sent to him. Maybe Sukuna made a mistake and accidentally pressed send? But did he accidentally send him at least ten videos of paper-craft?

Not all of them were flowers, though. Some of them made paper dragons, some made cats and ships, and some made paper rings. Jewelry of all kinds, but mostly rings for those trendy couple things.

Sukuna was either bored as f*ck to be watching and sending these to Toji just to mock them or he really was intending to do all of that.

With him?

Then why didn’t he just say so? Some of these videos were sent weeks ago, they spent enough alone time to talk about what they want to do next, including a couple movie nights where they watched Pirates Of The Caribbean and wore their matching Spider-man/Hello Kitty pajamas, and crafting stuff with colorful papers weren't among those dumb things.

Maybe he wanted something else? Toji watched his ceiling.

“If he wants something so bad, he gotta say it, man.“ He shrugged, turning on his side and checking his own page instead, now full of paper craft thanks to Sukuna.

“I need more rings- like you know, I like wearing them.“

“..Uh-uh.“ Asshole.

“Maybe we should go out to look for…more jewelry.“ He leaned to Toji’s side, causing him to draw a shaky line across the page, groaning.

“f*cking-“ He sighed, slapping a palm in the middle of Sukuna’s face, his fingerprints blurring his glasses. “Go look for yourself! I don’t get sh*t from your jewelry.“

Toji retreated his hand, reaching for an eraser by his side, all his stuff spread around the bench they’re sitting on for almost two hours now. Sukuna took off his glasses , using Toji’s shirt to wipe the fingerprints off them. The other just ignored, erasing the shaky lines Sukuna caused on his portrait.

“But where is the fun in that? Maybe I need…“ you to buy me the ring. “…Your opinion.“ Toji chuckled, not sparing his eyes from his sketchbook.

“And you will actually care? You will buy whatever you want anyway, it’s f*cking hell time to buy you a gift you will actually like without you giving that sour expression on sight of it. “

Sukuna blew on the lenses, wearing them back on and blinking a couple times. “I never did that.“

“Haha- surely. Yuuji cried after you looked at his drawing like it was p*rn.“

“I told you- I was struggling to understand what it was!“

“Keep deceiving yourself.“ Sukuna groaned at the back of his throat. Leaning his head back on Toji’s shoulder.

“Okay, but it was really sh*t, I didn’t get who was that fourth and fifth person was-“

“It was me and Gojo, Sukuna. The kid added us because he thinks we’re a part of the family.“ And Toji found it oh so embarrassing at first, then he asked for a photo of it from Choso to keep it somewhere deep in his gallery.

“Ew.“

“He’s seven, idiot. You broke his heart because he tried to give you a gift made out of his feelings.“ He then muttered, half expecting Sukuna to hear it for a reminder. “You can give a chance to those kinds of gifts, you know.“

The boy fell silent, breathing steadily, his head moving up and down as Toji moved his hand to draw. He didn’t know what exactly he was trying to draw, just pressing his pen against the paper slightly to not draw but feel it.

Sukuna’s eyes wandered up, watching the other from the angle, the way his eyelashes brush against the lower ones, leaf green eyes examining the surface of the paper. He stopped watching what Toji drew a long time ago, thinking of a way to trick the boy into buying him a ring, since it was a lot more embarrassing to convince him to make a paper one. At least he could count it as an ordinary gift rather than something ridiculously trending romantic sh*t.

He looked at his hands, holding a can of Sprite, halfway empty now. He will be tossing it next to the three other empty green cans. Toji had only drank a cup of coffee and a can of co*ke since morning. They didn’t eat anything, either. Lunch break has passed a long time ago. Sukuna had sandwiches prepared by Choso, especially two to fill his big ass stomach.

He didn’t wear any rings today, for school. They could’ve done a good job of warming his fingers if he had worn some, since they were big and much. Not that his hands were too cold now, it was Toji’s feature to feel cold almost every hour of seven days. But he felt naked without any rings. He slid his thumb over his nails, he just painted them black with red stripes this morning. The one on his index finger was ruined even when he tried to wear his coat on before leaving home.

What kind of ring Toji would choose for him? Which one of the rings he owned was his favorite to see on his fingers? Would he like a ring for himself too if Sukuna offers to buy one for him?

Toji’s hands weren’t the type to wear delicate rings but big ones like Sukuna’s own. His hands were bonier and slimmer than Sukuna’s, too, he would carry some of his rings better than Sukuna does. Maybe he can gift his old rings to Toji sometime, since they’re not too small for him, they would fit just right on the other's hands.

He could put every one of them in fancy boxes decorated with flower symbols and give them to him on his birthday. Right before the new year, maybe. Would Toji like it? The boy never celebrated his birthday before Sukuna scolded him to a small gathering, a day special for everyone because of New Year and only special for Sukuna because it’s the day the moon was hung in the night sky for the first time, by the hands of a mother must be so beautiful to be able to create such a flare.

Maybe the Sun decided to end its dance around the Earth to welcome the Moon to the theater.

Sukuna felt like he should be celebrating Toji’s birth instead of the New Year. He won't be able to help it but do that every year now. He smirked to himself, gifting rings to Toji was a good idea. He was proud of himself, even though he couldn't exactly convince Toji to buy him a ring.

He didn’t even feel Toji staring at his hands, either.

Seriously, who the hell found this f*ckass trend?

“Toji-oniisan, you’re doing it all wrong! What if Ryo doesn’t like it?“

“We’re doing it for Sukuna?!“

He had sat in the middle of a kid’s room full of lego pieces and small cars just to help Yuuji make a paper ring for his dearest friend Megumi. He didn’t have expectations. The smaller one had many of them, including Toji’s hand skills.

“Well, I’m doing some flowers and rings for Megumi…You should do some for Ryo! He likes those.“

Sukuna, likes paper crafted things? He didn’t even look his way when he bought him a bouquet. He’s gonna love some paper ones? And rings? He remembers when he offered to go buy new rings but he refused for fair reasons. Reasons like getting bullied for his taste in jewelry.

So he was down for those trendy sh*t, after all. Toji should’ve picked it out from the videos he sent him.

“He likes papercraft? Huh…That’s new.“ Yuuji passed him some more colored papers, all of them folded neatly for Toji to understand where he should be starting.

“Yes! He always grumbles about how he’d be perfectly fine even with a paper ring.“ Yuuji hummed, halting his mission a second. “Mmm…Maybe that means he’d be happier with a real ring…But don’t do everything he wants!“ He pouted, visibly annoyed by the fact Toji does everything Sukuna asks for, almost.

He blinked with empty eyes.

What the f*ck did that exactly mean? Maybe he could pull some answers from the kid version. He shifted on his place, folding the papers according to the guide Yuuji opened before them with his Ipad.

“So. Sukuna wants rings for what?“ Yuuji didn’t wait before answering, perfect response time.

“Oh, he’s probably just being dramatic…Like Choso-niisan. But I think!“ He leans in, Toji’s eyes widen when Yuuji whispers a secret. “I think he wants a ring from…you!“

“Ha?“ Yuuji retreats and giggles, showing off a flower he just made out of paper with pride.

Toji nods quickly at him and digs in for answers. “Yuuji- what- How do you know that?“ These small kids and the things they know, it’s scary. What is scarier is that Sukuna might actually say everything to Yuuji, unexpectedly.

“I can’t tell you! He might beat me up.“ Yuuji looks away, crossing his arms and scolding Toji like he broke the vase.

“Come on, kid. You already said a lot to bring you enough trouble if Sukuna finds out.“ He poked him. “Keeping more information away won’t make it hurt less!“

Yuuji played with the paper flower, spinning it between his fingers and trying to fix the damage it got when he crossed his arms.

“Yeah…Right. But don’t tell Ryo! Not even Choso-niisan.“

“Like hell I would.“

“He sometimes says he wants a ring from you so it’ll be special…And that he wouldn’t take it off even if it was a paper-ring.“ Toji listened intently, his brain calculating everything like it was math.

Was Sukuna drunk or something when he said that? There was a high chance this kid misunderstood something entirely different too and the possibilities were a pain in the ass.

“Is that so?“ Yuuji nodded.

“Yes! That's why I asked you to do this with me, so we can both give our partners cute gifts!“ Toji choked on nothing.

“Partners?“

“Yeah! So they can feel happier, it’s always nice to give loved ones gifts, even if they’re small!“ He grabbed a handful of paper flowers and some rings. “Like this! Here, take one of my flowers!“

Toji held it between his fingers, he thanked the gods they were alone in the room, or someone with good observation skills would definitely notice Toji’s face getting redder. He couldn’t even object that they weren’t partners at all. sh*t.

“Toji-oniisan, why are you trembling so much? Do you have a fever, your face looks like an apple!“

Maybe he should’ve waited a bit longer before thanking the gods next time.

“What is this?“

“A ring, idiot, are you finally completely blind?“ Toji holds out the red box on his palm, a metallic ring with black stripes over the red glass. Filled with blood.

“A ring.“ He starts to regret this decision. “It’s…your birthday today.“ He definitely regrets it.

“If you dare and not accept it, my blood will go to a waste and I will set a curse upon you.“ It draws Sukuna’s attention quickly. The boy grabs the box furiously.

“It’s your blood!? Are you f*cking insane?—“

“Don’t start it now! Take a look if it fits first.“ He leans back against the window to the balcony. He forces himself to focus on the loud music playing downstairs, where the rest of the group throws a party, both for New Year and his birthday.

Sukuna places the box on the table between them, taking off almost all rings he had worn today and slides it on his ring finger. His insides shake with the reality of wearing something given to him by Toji, and filled with Toji.

“It fits— It’s just right. Toji—“ He tries to talk, stuttering ‘till the end. He hadn’t expected a ring, yet alone a real one.

“Good, It was a struggle figuring out your size, stealing one of them was the hardest.“ He smirks, trying to relax both his heart and Sukuna’s.

“You f*cking stole it! I knew it. Just ask next time!“

“And spoil a surprise? Nah. You should have guessed it anyway, you wanted this for a long time.“ Sukuna tensed.

“What?! How do you know-“ Toji groaned, repressing Sukuna’s voice. “Get to the point, what do you have for me this time?“

Sukuna stands up, tching as he leaves to come back with a neatly packed box, as small as the one Toji gave him, without a package , it is.

“So, you probably will laugh your ass off with this. Because- well, see for yourself. “ He quickly places it on the desk.

“Not even gently handing it to me? How unromantic.“ He pulls the ribbons out, tossing them aside to rip out the package. He finds a box similar to his. Gasping, he looks up at Sukuna, repressing a laugh.

“What the f*ck?“ He bought- no. He gave him a ring, too. Exact same one Toji made for him.

“I had one filled with my own blood once, it’s small for me now so— I-“

“So you decided to give your used sh*t to me? f*ck- Sukuna you’re so-“ He chuckles, holding the ring out to light to see dark red blood inside the glass ring. It had differences, like black stripes were peeled off. He laughed, he had thought of the blood idea from this exact ring, when Sukuna complained how it doesn’t fit on any of his fingers anymore in one of his ramblings about rings for the past weeks.

“I said you will laugh! You can’t lie to me, you knew exactly what you were doing.“ Sukuna said, giggling.

“Holy sh*t, yeah. Of course. Because you literally were asking for it! I got sick of your complaints about rings.“ Toji wiped his eye, inhaling sharply. He handed the ring to Sukuna. The boy looked at him, frowning with confusion.

“Put it on me yourself, for traditions, you know. It was your ring once.“ Good play, Toji.

Sukuna tilted his head, stepping forward, feet to feet with Toji. He smirks. “Sure,“

He doesn’t spare his eyes from the other, feeling cold metal against his skin, finding the right finger to fit itself in. He lets his hand rest against Sukuna’s shoulder blade , the boy’s arm imitating his movements, finding it’s fit on Toji’s waist.

“I won’t take it off, ever.“ Sukuna mumbles against his lips.

“I know. I know that, too.“ Sukuna’s fingers caress his own, guiding them to rest over his own shoulder. Toji caresses the hair at the back of the other's neck.

“Asshole. How do you know everything? How do you do that sh*t…Toji.“ Warm hands rest against his cheek, tucking Toji’s hair behind his ear. His thumb dangerously close to the warmth of his lips.

“I have agents, secret ones. You will never find them.“ Toji giggles breathlessly, his eyes wandering around Sukuna’s face. So close. Sukuna spins them around, saving Toji’s back from the cold glass of the window. He holds him close, embracing his whole body only by wrapping an arm around his waist. How’s it so huggable?

“Toji.“

“Okay okay, I won’t tell you so don’t even—-“

“Date with me.“ He exhales a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. Sukuna’s hold wavers, it’s now looser. Toji startles, closing his fingers around the boy’s shirt. He won’t let go of something he knows he’s able to keep forever.

“What—What exactly-“ Sukuna shifts on his feet, gritting his teeth with a blush and a run of eye contact. “You know what exactly it is- Don’t try to…“

“Alright alright- yes. Yes I know. I’m just panicking a bit, okay?! Don’t roll your eyes at me-“

“What the hell are you panicking for, I’m the one asking you to-“

“You think answering such a question is easy?! Have you never dated anyone before?!“

“I didn’t.“ Sukuna lets Toji move a bit away, still holding him by his waist.

“Right…You didn’t.“ Toji rests both his hands against Sukuna’s chest. “I didn’t either.“ Sukuna nods, tilting his head as a mock.

A moment both of them dreamt of, many times a day and night. Toji sometimes strangled himself with his pillow because of his lack of words if the moment ever comes. Sukuna had planned a lot of scenarios, the one he liked the most was impossible yet fancy, only if they had a stage to perform. Now he thinks of it, it’s quite cringe, too. Embarrassing as f*ck. No one needs to know they’re just starting to date. If everyone will hear something about Toji, it only must be that he’s Sukuna’s boyfriend.

None of his scenarios included rings or a night before New Year, with a handful of people dancing and crazily drinking downstairs.

“So…Are you going to answer or I will literally jump off.“ Sukuna shaked Toji off from his trance by tightening his hold, handling him back and forth like a doll. He frowned.

“Hey- Don’t-“ He bit his lip. “Yes, of course, we should date.“ Sukuna felt his bones getting jelly, maybe the only shot he had before this had got to him now. Relaxation felt heavenly. Toji chuckled, drawing his attention back to his face.

“If I knew how stupid you will look, I’d ask you earlier…“ It was a lie, he already knew how stupid he would look.

“Shut the hell up, look at your face first. Your cheeks are colorful again.“ He lets Toji rest his head against his chest, maybe they both need it.

“Maybe I’m just cold.“ Sukuna hums, his throat vibrating against the top of Toji’s head. “Then we should go straight to bed.“

Toji pushes himself away, knitting his eyebrows. “In New Year? Without waiting twelve?“

“On your birthday, yeah. Without waiting for it to pass, yeah.“ He brushes his nose against Toji’s. “I had what I needed. I’m not planning to be awake nor without you when another starts to await.“ Toji chuckles against his lips.

“You should write songs.“

“I’d write every one of them for you.“

“You’re just an idiot.“

They lay together, snuggling into each other's peace of minds. It doesn’t feel different than any other time they have done this. Sukuna’s fingers part his hair into chaotic strands and caresses each of them with the tip of them, as if it’ll break apart between his palms. Toji rests his head against Sukuna’s chest, beating ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, like drums and there are two fingers against his wrist, his own beats pulsing against them. They’re dancing a melody. Eyes that stab the other with every similar step, breathing against the souls of each other like whispering a familiar song.

Only thing that is new for them is to taste of another's lips. A warmth they can’t quite recognize. But the core of it isn’t so far away. And they’ll get used to it, too. A kiss just sparks a flame they have been trying to strengthen for a long time.

Sukuna feels alive, his breathings only finding a fit when he falls asleep, sharing a light with his own Moon. And he wakes up to him, nothing he isn’t familiar with. It just has a name now.

stirb nicht vor mir (don’t die before ı do) - itsarkhenna - 呪術廻戦 (2024)